I put on a mask every single day
When I'm thinking so many things I don't say
When my heart is breaking but my lips curve to a smile
When I miss you and I just wanna pick up the phone and dial

I put on a mask every single day
Walking alone in these long hallways
Mastering the art of hiding my emotions
My mind feels it can create an explosion

I put on a mask everyday
You might not see it on the outside
Maybe cause you just look at the bright side
Adding layers to this mask everyday

I put on a mask everyday
I'd be lying if I said I'm not deceiving
I don't apologize if this is not appealing
I just wanna runaway

Why** can't I be happy?

Actually...
                 why can't I feel it?

                                                    I know I'm loved,
                                      but my mind can't comprehend it...

                                            My anxiety just screams
                                          "NOBODY LOVES YOU!"
                                        "YOU'LL LOSE THEM ALL!"
                               Maybe I should just push everyone away now
                                  and find comfort within these four walls.

                           Because it seems like If I have nothing left to lose
                 I'll no longer have to go through with this self mental abuse.

It is so quiet sometimes.

The silence seems to drill a hole so deep, incessantly, for long hours and my ears bleed.

I miss your laughter. I miss the way you whispered into my ears even when no one was around, breaking the silence in the most glorious way I’ve ever known.

The darkness of the night becomes a pathetic shroud that consumes me entirely.

I’d be okay with that only if I could feel your body around mine.

I don’t like this silence or this darkness but they are the same before I’d met you.

I loved them, then.

How do I erase you completely so I could fall in love with the night again?

The silence so soothing, the darkness so endless.

Please leave if you have to or come back.

I don’t mean to sound needy but I want to love again. Something or someone.

I want to fall in love so hard. I want to feel alive again.

She wears the sea
in her eyes
and dances with the sand
beneath her feet

I would swear I could hear
the sun playing on the ivory
keys of her smile

and at night when the wind
is right across the sound

she runs her fingers
through my waves
and lingers while she plays

Für Elise on a black piano.

No matter how painful the words I write,
     or how perfectly beautiful they rhyme,
     no phrase, no line, no verse, no time
     or poetry in the world could bring you back.

And I'll miss you forever, like how the shore
     unspeakably misses the kisses of the tides
     as they recede;
     and like the corals on the ocean beds,
     you are all I need.

I jot down my thoughts of you on any pieces of paper I can find,
My thoughts like these papers, loose leaf and wild, somehow only further our bind,
I search for words that purge and lessen the urge to reach our and tell you "I miss you",
Because you're fine without my lips, my tongue, or my kiss & they say don't go back to what hurt you.

But ******* do I miss you.

I miss you in the simplest of moments when alone with my heartbeat I sigh,
You showed me such beauty and reached into my soul and now that you're gone I just cry,
Cry for what we had, and for what we could have been,
I'm sure now that loving you was my very greatest sin.

So I write down on parchment the words I'll never say and alone with my memories I sigh,
& so I'll wait for the day when I can wake up and say it's not in your arms I wish to lie.

Warm hands outstretched,
Hey, are you okay?
Welcoming eyes of fire,
Please, I'm asking you to stay.
And now I realize, that at that first touch,
I should have walked away.