Why** can't I be happy?

Actually...
                 why can't I feel it?

                                                    I know I'm loved,
                                      but my mind can't comprehend it...

                                            My anxiety just screams
                                          "NOBODY LOVES YOU!"
                                        "YOU'LL LOSE THEM ALL!"
                               Maybe I should just push everyone away now
                                  and find comfort within these four walls.

                           Because it seems like If I have nothing left to lose
                 I'll no longer have to go through with this self mental abuse.