I saw you staying late at night,
in your small dark room
staring at your ceiling
asking for answers.

That day, I saw you getting anxious
at your office around nine.
'Coz your hot headed Boss yelled at you
because you failed to send invites.

Yet I know you did your best,
staying behind just to finish
the letters, the inputs,
the programs even the script.

The bags in your eyes get bigger every night,
While you cram to send it all.
Your eyes get watery, you become jitty,
But no one knew because you accepted the call.

I saw all your hardworks.
I saw all you pains.
I heard all the belittlings.
I heard all your pleas and cries.

Yet despite all these,
You're still here fighting.
Finishing the fight you've started.

The rope is no longer hanging,
Those blades are now kept.

To the girl who thought of death lately,
I salute you for being brave!

I have this horrible habit of not feeling my feelings
I don't know if its because I'm scared or if I even do feel
Maybe in the moment I don't; feel
Maybe those emotions just throw themselves into the ever spinning ball of feelings swirling in the catacombs of my mind
And they just sit and fester

Maybe all this is true:
But where do they go, you ask.
Well its a damning thing it is
That one small, tinny, most insignificant event can release months worth of anger, despair, and fear and hate
The tiniest thing can unveil the truth
The curtains which hides my eyes lifts for maybe one moment
But I already see it and I begin to cry
Because what I see, I don't like
What I see, I hate

So I sit here clamping my teeth so hard they might shatter
Holding my breath so in my throat sobs gather
Worthless tears that don't even matter
I threaten myself, I threaten, my heart
I threaten I'll beat me until my skin parts
Yet, nothing will happen
I'll probably forget the one day that I felt
And I'm ashamed to tell you why
Because what I do is wrong:
I just walk away
I make no changes
I once again feel no more
Why?

Because I'm scared out of my ******* mind
I'm scared, and I can't tell anyone
Because if I do its real
And if its real
Then I'm ******

And so the twisting began
Telling tale under moonlight
A fickle old soul
And difficult woman
Took your hand into hers
Desperate to relieve her
Countless years of flagellation
In the sad song she sings

But the world won't listen
And the crone knows why
The world won't listen and
She knows, she knows,
She knows why
Because the saddest songs
Remain silent below
The lonely sigh

You made your mistake
Deserve of this
Close knowing
You said your ears were
Always open
Not fully
Understanding
What that means