My vision is broken
My heart is impaired
I trusted my senses
And met my catastrophe
What I did was not just
A mere suicide
I walked to my coffin
And loved you to *death

I was once free,
Free to do what appealed me,
Flying from east to west,
And north to south.

I flew to lowlands and highlands,
In search of food,
To feed me and my kids.
To take a break away from my nest.

Then one day a huntsman caught me.
He locked me up in a cage,
It was so small that I'd suffocate.
I couldn't spread my wings.

I was taken to a house,
It was full of cockroach and mouse,
The huntsman fed me bird seeds.
They smelt of raw meat.

Hesitantly I ate what he gave,
I did what he wanted.
Because my life was on stake.
Thanks to my idiocy.

I wished I never flown to this jungle,
Where this cruel man resided.
In this dark and haunted nest
If this is what it's called.

He cut off my wings,
My beautiful blue wings !
He sells them to people.
Such an evil man.

If only I was a human,
I'd take my revenge.
But right now all I have to do is relax,
And hope that I live my life either his way or my way.

I dreamt of you last night.
Did you wake thinking of me?
My shoulders and back
feel cold now;
it's where your body
should be.

I dreamt of your hand in mine;
fingers laced, you holding me.
And then, it seems,
I awoke
to this cruel reality.

When the darkness sets in
and you let it consume you
it feels like falling;
falling in a bottomless hole,
and under its pulling force
you feel your demons stirring
finding a way
to get out
and to take over ...
Clawing your soul from inside
getting restless,
causing pain,
so you just decide to
unleash them
and let your demons out
for a HUNT !!

I took the pictures off the walls
Our memories are in a box

Your shirts and letters sit
And there the dust will settle

I do this before the trip to see you
Knowing our conversation will not end well

I’m caught in the middle of a storm
But tonight, perhaps the stars will show themselves once more

The end of us has been nothing but silence and screaming
Maybe I’m ready for you to leave

If this past year has been a story,
Then we are at the ******

And I am on the edge of my seat
Just waiting to see how this all plays out

Because of you,*
my favorite shades of blue are now ugly.
Everything that you ever told me is now
some form of anxiety I don't want to hear
sometimes I wish you'd just disappear..

I woke up this morning
with rain on my window
there was blood on my arms
and dried tears on my pillow
The knife that I used was sleeping on the floor
I looked at the clock
it was a quarter to four
Marilyn Manson was still playing as I got out of bed
thoughts of last night were hurting my head
My depression kicked in as I turned the music off
I felt ***** in my throat as I tried to cough
It is now five in the morning
I'm taking a shower
I'm starting to get cold
I've been showering for an hour
I step out of the tub
and I get the urge to cut
instead I slip on water
and fall on my ****

...................................

I woke up this morning
there's snow on my window
there are poems on the floor
and blood on my pillow
My heart starts to pound
and I start to cry
as I thank the Lord
for saving me from suicide

in the attic on my way to the roof
pick up the two newborn kittens

their frantic mews at this alien invasion
draw the mother who knows me well

in her owl eyes are written
though love smitten
don't cuddle them too much.

past them i move to the roof.

on the mango tree
the crow nest is empty.

was my bonding with the two chicks
for those weeks
a waste?

dusk falls with a sigh
heavy on my chest.