She finds comfort in the night.
Not as warm or popular
as the day.
It must be the silence
caressing her soul at night
or the darkness that washes away
the dirt from yesterday.
She waits for the night-
she waits for the peace.

****** wrists-
Are better than ***,
At least then-
I feel something.

I got so drunk
  I begged my feelings to leave
  But it stayed

Until I woke up
  My head was in a storm
  It was raging my love for you

So I threw up
  All the expectations I had left
  That you would come back

And beg me to stay.

''What type of woman do you prefer?''
i was asked.
All of a sudden i was describing you

I refuse to be the puppet
That you dangle on the string,
I refuse to be the person
You always count on for things.

I refuse to have everything
Dumped on me,
I refuse to always be the one
Begging on her knees.

I refuse to be lied to,
Purposefully ignored;
I refuse to be the one
Who is left out in the storm.

I refuse to be left out as refuse;
Worthless, forgotten trash
That you threw out your window,
Scattering my soul to ash.

We sculpt clay into the things
we cannot force our bodies into
we string the alphabet
into stories we are afraid to live
we paint with colors we cannot see
and we ignore the music
inside the beat of our hearts

as we forget what it means to live
we muse on what was
once beautiful about being alive
and forget our thoughts
as we stare emptily to the sky

and the night swallows the day
and the day murders the night
and prayers become graveyards
for dead gods
and our beds become coffins
for dreams

round and round the clay
of the earth spins
and slips through our fingers
as time is something we waste
and our reflection
is a ghost of once was
and what could be

if we could only remember
who we were before
we became prisoners inside
our own minds and found shame
in the shape of our flesh

before we needed the alphabet
to speak of love
and metaphors to hide behind
and fairy tales to mend our wounds

back when the music
inside the beat of our hearts
was all we needed
to know that we were beautiful