Just a memory?
       We were so happy..
Just a moment?
        We shared so many..
Just a was?
        What about "We will"?..

He pushed play
He said "Hey"

But he pressed fast forward
And leaned inward

So I pressed play
We could've kissed all day

He pressed pause
There were a few flaws

I pressed play
I thought it'd be okay

He hit stop
Was I too over the top?

Ether way,
I want to press replay

Who knew
Someone
I didn't know
Would say
Hello?

Who knew
That night
We'd see
Ourselves
In each other?

Who knew
We'd share
So many things
And never met
Before?

Who knew
Every day
He'd ask me
"Do we
Still match?"

Who knew
The answer
Was always yes?

Who knew
Less than
A week
Would pass
Before he
Kissed
Me?

Who knew
When he
Kissed
Me
It would
Bring back
Memories?

Who knew
We'd kiss
Again
And
Again?

Who knew
We'd fall
In love?

Who knew
It was
New Years
And I
Was only
Thinking
Of him?

Who knew
One month
After Hello
Would be
Goodbye?

Who knew
The
Difference
Between
"Goodnight"
And
"Goodnight,
Love"
Was enough
To make me cry?

Who knew
I could
Feel him
Even if
I never
Saw him
But now
All I feel
Is his
Absence?

Who knew
I'd  fall
To pieces
But
Pick them
Up?

Who knew
I'd just
Drop them
All over
Again?

Who knew
He wouldn't
Or pretend
He doesn't
Care?

Who knew?
Not me.

I wasn't ready
I didn't want it to end
But isn't that what anyone would say
After their own apocalypse?

I knew it was coming
So why didn't I do something?
It was like the little boy
Who cried wolf

Except there is no
Little boy Or Wolf
Just you and me
And you went your own way

So now I'm here
Broke in love
I was gambling
I thought it was a good risk

Silly me,
I bet it all
I gave you all I had
And now I'm left with none

Nothing
I feel empty
Like I'm hollow
Dying on the inside

Every second I'm alone
I'm one second closer to dying
Because now, thanks to you,
I am my own poison

I cry all night
Telling myself things
No one should ever hear
Destroying myself

Burning brighter than the sun
Only to burn out and ruin it all
To become a monster
After something thought beautiful

I never wanted to lose you
No, not yet
But you left me
So now here I am

Laying here alone
Literally shivering in fear
Crying silently in the night
And all because

I wasn't ready
I didn't want it to end
But isn't that what anyone would say
After their own apocalypse?

My brain and I
We play these sick games

Most games are fun
But not this one

Where I stop eating
Just enough to keep my heart beating

And at night I wish it wasn't
Or at least that's what my brain says

It makes me cry
even when I have no reason why

Until I meet the darkness of sleep
To wake with last night's tears

My brain almost always wins
Talking trash and whispering sins

But this time it's different
I'm not battling my brain, but my heart

I can't stop eating
I feel like I'm barely breathing

I can't do this to myself
But my heart says I need him

It makes me cry
And I can't stop no matter how hard I try

When I meet the darkness of night,
I get a chance but I'm too filled with fright


If I win, my heart breaks,
If it wins, I break

My home
     Life as I know it
          My world
Is on fire

Burning
Burning

Ash and Dust

Timber
They scream
Timber
They taunt

It comes crashing down
  And
        It's heavy
        It's sad
        It's all too real


And yet here I sit
Not even throwing a fit

Watching it burn
For it is my urn

I wait and watch

        Because sometimes
I'd rather burn with it
Than live without it