We are all in agreement, it ends here.
The images in my head, I will remove myself from them
Every hope and dream I had with another faded.
To the back of the bar with her.
Together watching our kids go off to school, weird love.

The universe caressed my cheek.
Knowledge dipped into the night, telling me to follow it.
Home, where I no longer belong.
Nowhere among the fools.

I felt my head spin, it had been in a spin for a while.
My hand gripped tight around my manhood.
Chemicals took to the street in protest of my *******.
Nothing can bring me back now.

I saw her eyes, felt her breast.
Caressed her golden hair as it went down on my shaft.
Never did I think I was alone.
My dream bored me.

The scarcely interesting URL of xvideos, my usual site.
My head wasn't spinning, it was as if I was laying still.
Every ****** fantasy I erased myself.
There's no need to know who's in my place.

I came to a lowly ******* of a girl and a much older man.
The control he emitted, I felt my own need to control slip away.
Truly inconsequential, the human respect.
Was I a creature designed to breed?

I have a perfect face.
Eyes beyond the measure of heaven.
Proportions designed with the intent to charm.
I'm the man who can make the world bearable.

I have been dismantled, put back together.
I took suffering and pain beyond reasonable measure.
My feeling has been denied and cut down.
My humanity is still there.

I guess it ends here.
Well you're probably right reader.
This isn't my last poem.
It's the end of a genre.

I feel alright, I feel good.
My dream of being better, to sacrifice myself for intellect.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, to give up so much work.
To throw my humanity to the abyss.

I just wish. The chemicals could have been a bit stronger.

Forgive my eyes for being blind.
They only see pain.

Forgive my hands for shaking.
I can't stop them from being afraid.

Forgive this head for over-thinking.
I can't feel safe.

Forgive my tears for being absent.
My eyes are not aloud to cry.

Forgive my body for not being able to feel.
It isn't strong enough to bear it's pain.

Forgive my heart for being silent.
It was silenced long ago by a bad man.

Silly boy, you weren't ready for this.
You hadn't studied for it.
Love is joy, you never felt it like that.
Now it's your weapon.

How is this for you?
Does it help?
Will this pain bring you to work harder?
ть в порядке?

Angels watch your misguided adventure.
They're laughing at you.
God whispers into your ear.
Or is he the devil?

People avoid your crooked walk.
Loved ones, already cursed with your touch.
She got away, and is still cursed.
You divide .

How long will the wind guide you.
Devoid of free will.
**** them all.
Curse them with your touch.

Forever within your heart.
Poison your mind with doubt.
Silly boy, you gave up choice already.
Now you're on a road to ******.

Angels lower their heads in disappointment.
Devils look away.
Just another obsession.
I'm about to turn to dust.

I know to whom I love.
That to which I give myself to.
All my possession and body belongs.
To me.

And so everyday my heart grows colder.
My soul a bit more broken.
Solace searched for in broken glass.
Knowledge consumes me.

I am the evil scientist plotting in his lab.
No righteous flag.
Just more angst I should let out through alcohol.
A broken genius.

Remember me as I was.
Cruel.
Capricious.
Stubborn.

Love yourself, because hell knows I wouldn't.

Who are you? Reading this, recalling your memories. This is a look into my head.
There is no lesson to learn.
Just the ramblings of a dead man.

If you want a worthwhile lesson. Don't try to change people you want to keep. You are not the world.

How many masks did I tear off their faces?
I've already lost count.
Of ****** faces and bruised eyes.
There's no heaven where I'm going.

Do they still breath I wonder.
Will they be happy?
Can I see them, my afflictions.
Will they find solace in my suffering?

The pain I feel.
It's all in my head.
The guilt of ******.
The pain of abandon.

Remind me in a park why you left.
So I can walk my own trail once more.

If I ever were to describe myself, I would be despondent.
Never happy when alone.
When with others, I would be absorbed into their feelings.
But really, my feelings couldn't be faced.

If I ever could depict my past, The painting would be bland.
A lone grey figure struck against a white wall.
The child without love nor maternal instinct.
Paying for survival with absolute compliance.

If I ever told you what I was thinking right now, I'd be lying.
Surrounded by a thousand paper target in a warehouse.
Suffering through your interrogation.
And you dare call it conversation.

I remember shouting at myself.
Decreeing my own hell.
Whispering in that sullen terrifying voice.
"You are the epitome of nothing, unable to love or be loved."

In truth, I was loved.
I was loved and cared for.
My love, was conditional, it was always paid for.
And for that payment I will never love back.

If I ever wrote you a poem, disregard it.
My words are better off in the sea.
Closing the book on my heart.
You, who loved me.
I, who needed you.