When you watch it bleed,
thoughts provoked by unspoken words,
careless whispers,
thrown into turmoil,
vision so blurred that you cannot see,  
you lie to your soul but it already knows the truth,
blind gods and meaningless christs,
swim for the shore,
to horizons lights,
cling to the things that make it alright.

Chains of heart strings locked away by fake queens
Time behind a cell wall
I wonder why love is a crime

Punishment from something that my heart commits
But my brain a bystander to an attack on beauty
Witness to pain from someone meant to be a painkiller

Your lying lips sounding like old movie scripts
Bounding me to the cold corners of this mental cage
Prison tattoos consisting of scarred arms

Associates in romance and nothing more
Holding hands just a misdemeanor
You’re leaving me on parole.

She then wears her special smile
an inamorata's conspiratorial
signalling her arousal, need to get me closer
right there in a room full of people
all of us in the midst of serious business.
I have deep yearning in my eyes
that in turn sets fire to her love central
we burn to be in each other's arms
lovers in exile, commandeer private moments
deflecting watchful eyes of jealousy
every time our secret rituals of amour
take unexpected arms and win wars.

Spring is going to back
Silently dropping  the purple petals  
Bored noon,  
The melancholy flute's of Shepherd
Seeking the missing spring

Roll up,
Roll around the idle noon
Random impulsive air
Bunch of dark clouds at the sky
Pensive
Seem illusion of that known
Pied crested Cuckoo

Beyond the horizon,  
The eyes looking for
Sounds (Tip Tip) of the sudden drops of rain,
On the leaves of Quail,
Washing
Differentiation of mind

On the leaves of Arum,
Ever Keeps as the containers
Integrating
Concentrating 
Compiling of soul 

Weird one wrapped in mystery
Mind
Life
Seasons

Coming up the lyrics of rain
Fusion with thy mystic music
Afternoon has grown heavier  
How my mind moves!

Chased away birds returning home
The heart is rapidly expanded
Rain continues to move around
Nature demands a new ground

Looping, hearing of the same song
Shadows filling with the feelings
Perhaps this change of thy
Bound to sketch
A new face of impression

All I have to see
Is her face

The freckles
Each hiding a secret
Her eyes
Hiding so many lies

I like to pretend
All my life
That I am
A fearless warrior
I can do no wrong
I am so often right
In my own mind

But she

She brings me to my knees

That icy cold glare
I used to laugh
And join her
When she looked
At others that way

But now
The tables have turned

She knows
I cannot
Hold my pride
When she is near

When you notice me staring into nothingness,
Do not call me back,
I am trying to imagine a better day.

When you see me write incoherent words,
Do not ask me for their meaning,
I am trying to make sense of these thoughts inside my head.

When you see my nails sink into my arms,
Do not tell me to stop,
I just long to feel something that's not emptiness.

When you see me tugging at my clothes,
Do not ask me why,
I am just nervous of what people may think of me.

When you see me walking alone,
Do not come to my side or try to reach me,
I'm just trying to calm myself down.

If you ever see marks or bruises on my body,
Do not ask what has happened
Because I do not know myself.

If you ever see cuts or scars on my arms,
Do not pretend you know how it feels,
I'm not looking for your sympathy, I just need a release.

If you ever see my body tremble,
Please do not ask me why,
I am willing myself to just stop and breathe.

If you ever see me rocking myself,
Please do not make your jokes,
I just need to feel comforted at times.

If I ever arrive late,
Do not ask me where I have been,
I was busy trying to control the urges.

If I ever seem distant with you,
Please do not ask me what I'm thinking,
I am probably just wanting to disappear.

If I ever say I do not care,
Do not be fooled,
I am just probably tired of hearing these 'jokes'.

If I ever make a mess of things (like usual),
Do not yell at me or make me feel small,
I will clean up my mistakes, it just takes time.

If I ever hurt you,
Do not hate me,
Sometimes I just forget how to act.

If I ever cry on your shoulder,
Do not be uncomfortable,
It just means I am comfortable with you.

Please do not ask me if I am okay
Because I am never okay.
I am just surviving.

Please do not try to figure me out,
I am only human,
I just like secrets.

Please do not try to hug or touch me,
It makes my skin crawl,
I am not used to that touch.

Please do not try to comfort me,
Its not helping.
Just stay within reach, stay quiet,
Empty your mind of doubt.

If I'm ever crying or just being dumb
And I tell you to leave me alone,
Don't...I'm just too scared to admit I need you.
I need you to hold me when I feel so broken.