Your hate
I need that
Your emasculation
Fulfils me
Your unaccountabilty
Don't worry I'm responsible
That ***
I'm going to kiss that
That knife in my back
It's all good I can heal
Your pain and struggles
Blame it all on me

I remember you
As you have always been,
in your purest form
Of serenity.

I remember you
Floating in an ocean
Of white and cold
And premature quiet.

I remember the rich
And stagnant signal
That connected to your unplugged senses
Through cables of life and misery.

You were peaceful
Right there with no gravity
And nothing to pull you to it
Like an old unforgiven crime
And cell bars of glum and metal.

I remember you,
Because I was right there
Next to you.
That's how our fingers touched
And broke down eternity.


-- Eleanor

Putting on my outside face,
Is harder than you'd think,
I start with a smile I don't mean,
A laugh for jokes that aren't funny,
I place words in my mouth like:
"That's great" "I get it" "Oh, wow"
I place attention into my eyes,
Agreement along my lips,
I remember to swallow my pride,
And to bite my tongue,
The hardest part, though,
Is removing myself first,
The parts I worked the hardest for,
Are the ones that don't belong,
Yet I'll suffocate beneath my skin,
Just to make you more comfortable.

You were the spell,
              I was the words

and together we created

                              happiness.

Is a poet still a poet
If they do not write?

A journal gathering dust,
But a yearning to write.
Am I still a poet
Without my inner light?