**** me, my mind
said so. Heart doesn't
like to talk anymore,
since she's been beatin' one
to many times by nervousness.
Anxiety and Depression
like to have threesomes
with me, ******* me
from all ends.
I'm so sore, they do
it raw and sometimes I bleed.
Whenever I talk Anxiety's
*** still lingers in my mouth,
it reeks. He made me swallow hard.
They told me
if I said anything
what would be
the point.
They're not
real.

we were all born from
challenged ancestral thought -
refracting in such a way against
our flimsy souls
that would
build us up gradually:
    (from the drowning
           beta-fish to the asphyxiated
                                              dove).

showing us how absolutely
okay it was
to recognize
a distant gaze belonging
to one on the brink of another
terribly lonely silence.

coupled with sighting
a trembling bone structure --
we could find yet another
sign of “Get Me Out Of Here” or
“Those Walls Better Keep Their Distance”
without one or ten stigmas attached to the core.

auto-pilot would really do us all a favor if
we could think objectively for more than
a few seconds: throw a side of coping mechanisms
into the mix while we’re off creating the perfect
human. but god, just save more than a handful
of our loves tonight.

if only we could learn to note
the difference between a
barely-there sigh that screams
“This Is Only A Yawn” vs.
“More Than A Coffee Crash”

perhaps we’d all find each other well-off
and striving for that sense of unimaginable
hope we can see every poet clawing for;
trapped in the depths of their
own abyss. they can’t find
the EXIT sign. can you even
salvage a reading light?

this world can only flourish
outwards from here on out:
I swear to you.
if only we can pry that mind
open and teach it to love
a little bit more than
the revolving planets
in their universes.

written January 25, 2015

"Even a two hour absence of you is enough to make me break down crying wondering why you left
I'm anxiously awaiting a message from you but the phone screen remains as black as the night above
And it makes me wonder, scared shitless if the day comes when I no longer have you, and the phone screen remains message-less
days upon days
Because just these two hourss, and I'm already consumed with thought on why you're not texting me back
And today is the day I know I'm in too deep"

cavernous mouths howling & snapping
flat wide tongues flapping
razor teeth glint in the moonlight
eyes yellow like the sun
their breath heavy & hot
a scent like dead leaves & musk
claws snick the pavement  
they surround us as we fall under their spell
content to be devoured

drink my blood
eat my heart
swallow my tongue
crack my bones & **** out the marrow
i have enough to go around

you taste rich like german chocolate cake
the scent of you : sweet sweat & secondhand smoke
your breath hot against my neck

i want to cry but i won't

Always keep a stiff upper lip
Always keep your chin up,
But when the weight of the world is hanging on you,
What is one to do?

I try so hard to stay happy
To stay cheerful and light.
Yet with a sea of death and despair around me,
It makes everything seem futile.

I Try so hard,
To be a shoulder to cry on
To be the comfort my friends may call on.
But when will I be given the same,
Or am I to harden my heart,
and "Take it like a man?"

don't you ******* get it?!
we could have done it
we were so close

so in love

you ******* left me
YOU ******* LEFT

yet you were there all along

we could try it all again
but there is no ******* way

because the thought of touching you
reminds me of so much saddness

that i would ******* **** myself
if i ever felt that way again

we almost ******* made it
almost ******* made it