One of these days
Exams begin.
Didn't take long
to get right in.
No time was wasted.
In a better way,
Could not have won my heart.
Can't bare to open a book
when apart.
Only thing on mind
Is the art of making
Creating, of feeling so deep
And genius, warm and hazy

But, one of these days
Exams begin.

Narrow roads
Dishevelled hopes
Blank tomorrow's
Is this what lies ahead?
Searching for insolation
But cold shivers surround as the palm pushes me out
What did I do to deserve isolation of the hardest yet
The unrest of another day passing
Asking the question like
Is this life my best bet?
I've endured this devastation for too long
And strike after strike, I've resurfaced again
Tired
Mind completely unsound
Chained, pulled around and round
Unwilled and weak
But I still seek that light
And that hand to dust me off

Begging sometimes seems pointless,
For, what am I here for?
More frustration? More anger? More morbid depression and borderline insanity?
I no longer wonder what possibly could be wrong with me.
There's no specific thing, it's me.
Why are embraces cold and smiles hard?
Why constantly have up my guard?
Why give in to my darkness when I've been rabid for the light since small.
I knew that things would get here, no, I lie.
My Bible's shelfed and dusty
But I know what it says
About children
Who lie.

Haven't had it.
Kindly rejected the one thing
Every male-being seems to want from me
In turn, they turn
And I am rejected, all but
Writing about that one thing
I've never had
And that one boy
that couldn't wait.

I like the rain.
But that doesn't mean I'm in pain,
It keeps me sane
In a way
because I can't blame
my pain
on the rain
taking the sun away.

I see clouds gather,
Thinking that I hate this weather
When the thunder came
I knew that this game I was playing
was unorthodox
Took a few knocks
Cut my dreadlocks
And when the rain finally came

I was dancing.
In the rain
Just dancing.

Rumble, shiver
Rain. Rain.
I'll do this
Again. Again.
Just to live it
Just to hear it
tumble down
Heavy on my roof
Its the only proof
That I actually feel
My heart is actually real
And oh, the smell after rain has cleared all sorrow
After its washed away all dirt in hearts
Makes me want to kneel and pray.

My hair is not wavy long
My smile leaves much to be desired
My voice can't keep to the tune of song
My personality has long expired
I stay up till 2am
No need for beauty rest
Because zombie walking through days
Eyes clouded with grey
Is when I'm at my very best

My poetry is mediocre
I failed my English test
I'm a contradiction
But I wish I was normal
like the rest
I've always come across as
a little off
Like stale milk
or green bread
And I bet you the Nile is as long
as my list of young regrets.

But how can I not live?
Time's a ticketing-tock
I have to undo the lock on my life
and the strife of my family debts
that caused us to be stuck here
In the depths of ambitious hopelessness.

And confused I may be
But I tell you that, one day, we will be.

And I promise if you let me, Freddy
I'll be the best friend you'll ever have
All I have to do is plan
                                    my steps and
                                                 try not to step
                                                     so ******* your booted toes anymore,
I am going to try.

And I will never cry
or fall
For a man, as tall or tattooed
Because his arms are like a noose
Who leaves you to hang
And you'll feel to
Never
Live
Again.

I hear rain
But I see none,
Why do I feel to cry?
Is it just because being a lady is so-
Complications occurred and now I am left bloodless

I hear rain.
I'll look out my window
And feel her pain
She's dead.
*****.
3 men, my mother said
Her mother, she's torn
Said she heard her daughter's screams
but
Dad said 'Nah, that can't be her, keep looking'
Where was he when his girl needed him?
Where are those men?
Someone find them!
They deserve a hanging!

I think about sharks a lot
They eat people who swim in shallow sea water,
why,
Do they leave them half eaten
To be dragged to shore where we see them?
No, eat them whole!
Now images of a lady in a turquoise bather haunts my night dreams
She's pretty the lady, in face yes
Can't make out the rest, only her neck
and some part of her right shoulder is left...

Man, why do I feel so deeply
Sometimes I wish I had no heart
for it hurts so for these people
They were living
before they died
And in what a manner!

Man, I shouldn't have googled shark attack at Muizenburg beach at work
But I was curious.
Surely death by curiosity won't hurt half as much.

I adore the hairs at the back of your neck
Oh stranger, can I pick one?
I enjoy riding slowly on the waves of your delicate golden hair.
I'm feeling anxious, for if you turn
your pretty eyes will notice my declaration of love,
Your pointed nose will sniff out my guilt.
I'm a little scared.

Anonymous, how plainly you are dressed
But glancing around I see you looking better than the rest.
I'm bound by societal rules
Like a sunflower trapped in a dark room
Wishing I could run a finger down your nose
Love you with sweetest prose.

You're just there
Standing within arms reach
If I were feeling daring
I would turn you around and begin a speech

Standing behind you here, oh the bliss!
If I were feeling eccentric
I would lean forward and
Give you a
Quick
Kiss.

You can love me now
Rainclouds are only temporary.
Ger sleeps over tomorrow
He'll tell you all about it
At the carnival park
We'll be alone at last
'Coz I'ma little upset
That I'mnot pretty yet
Maybe you'll look around at
Beauty and vigour
And leave.

Once found a butterfly. He died.
Called him he coz his patterns were
Brown with a little green.
Wanted to save him.
Wanted him to live.

He had no direction
Just like me
He was flying in circles
He understood
What I was feeling
All he could.

Tried to take care
Make him alright
But it was a lie
And here he lies.

2:47
I'm about to sever
Ties with being awake
It's too late.
I realised that I loved him,
But it was too late.
Late, like when you miss the train
When you walk too slow and the taxi rides away,
Late, like when you see that flight take off
Knowing you should've been on it.