Grief.
I hear that word a lot.
A feeling,
grieving,
an action.
It affects us in the deepest parts of our beings;
we push back so hard that it festers and bursts.
I'm grieving and I should be honest about it.
I'm grieving for my ancestors who went through trauma and continued on,
I'm grieving for my kin lost to the same rough waters we swim through now,
I'm grieving for the ongoing traumatizing events we face in everyday life,
I'm grieving for the me I could've been if only I'd been loved as I love myself now,
I'm grieving for the future we're working so hard for,
I'm grieving from this pain I'm burdened with.
Thank you grief.
I'm here to hold you and walk into love with you.

In my Dreams aliens invade.
I hide with people I barely know.
We seek solace in each other's humanity for fear of the unknown.
In my Dreams I fly over rooftops, over unsuspecting heads who go about their day as usual.
In my Dreams I am transported, abducted, and chased.
But in my Dreams I am me.
I am lost.
I am afraid.

When I wake static lingers like a long lost lullaby.

I feel like throwing up all these thoughts and words I have and much, much more.
I feel sick till I pour everything out.
The pain of lust and love gnawing at my soul.
The world eating at my heart.
My eyes full of emotional storms that I don't understand.
My brain is telling me to survive it all somehow.
Eventually I'll make it out of despair.