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If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.
This is the first poem (that I have a copy of) i wrote that I actually thought was good. I was in seventh grade, twelve years old, and I wrote it for a newspaper competition. I knew it was really great but I didn't think I would beat all other applicants in the state in my age group. So you can imagine my surprise I'm sure when I DID win! That is the first time I was proud of my writing. So this one has a lot of special sentimental value. Thanks for reading.
Sometimes,
meaningless things are more meaningful in life.
and some meaningful things don't hold much meaning for you.
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Teemers
Truth.
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Teemers
I only write,
when
I am in love
or
Falling apart.
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
fray narte
i will pick you a bunch of sunflowers;
each one is icarus,
reborn from falling,
from trying to fly too close to the sun,
each one,
still facing its direction;
maybe it's a sunstruck shade of love, darling.
or maybe it's just a bad case of morning lunacy —

see, each one still has wilted,
each one still has withered,
each one is still a tale
of icarus falling to the earth.
and darling, maybe flying and falling for you
are still habits i'm yet to break.

— to the boy made of sunbeams
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Ana
to love
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Ana
to love;
is to feel the tenderness, the vulnerability, the joy, the discomfort, the calmness, the concern, the connection, the insecurity, the desire, the power, the confidence, the pleasure, the presence.
to love is to let yourself feel. deeply.

to love;
is simply to be open in love.
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Max Neumann
been living in a rehab
fifth day
telling myself: don't relapse


STAY
GET HELP, CARING, UNPREJUDICED AND FOR FREE:

www.aa.org
www.ca.org
www.na.org

“...most substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking, meaning they have a compulsive and unhealthy relationship with their own thinking.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
R.I.P. David. God bless you.
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Anya
Hidden
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Anya
Today my friend told me
I was acting strange
I gave her the
excuse
of a sugar high
But really,
...
I was just being
myself
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
ross
~

if my mind
was the universe
thoughts of you
would be the
stars that fill it
endless
countless
beyond measure


~
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Nina
Smile!!
 Dec 2019 Xaela San
Nina
Every time
You'd see me with a sad face
You'd tell me to smile
Every time
I seem moody
You'd tell me to smile
And when you know that  I won't smile
You'd end up doing the things that will make me smile

You said my smile
Was my biggest attraction
But little did you know
My smiles are all because of you
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