These four walls
will be the death of me.
Squeezing, constricting
til theres no more breath in me.
Overthinking, thoughts rebounding from the corners
like that screensaver.
Im so capable,
yet unable
to leave.
Frozen as the air outside.
Limbs pinned,
tied like Gulliver.
Guilt and sadness and regret
leak
from eyes
fixed open
unblinking in the dark.

I am a ghost
of Xmas past.
From carols and lights
to shouts and fights,
snowmen and gingerbread
to icy winds and a deathbed.
From family
and friends around
to solitude
and not a sound.

This time of year's just not the same.
Theres no more laughter
and no more games.
When loved ones have all moved away,
and I travel a thousand miles
to be alone on holidays.

Im no believer
theres no greater
reason for this day of cheer.
Yet my selfish sorrows can't compare
to my brother's, who is over there,
on the front lines
away from those most dear.

When I'm with her
I am who I love.
We are two sides of a coin,
dancing through the air,
twirling together.
A quirksome confidence and joy
in her smile.
Shy and genuine intrigue in mine.
Her laughter is sweeter than honey,
and I could listen to it forever.
Her eyes are kind,
knowing,
mischievous,
sparkling.
Shes a work of art
a masterpiece.
I hope she knows.

You and me,
Tybee in the moonlight,
with blankets
on a windy Savannah night.
It's not a great beach,
but its a beach.
Sharing body heat.
Nowhere, but here.
No time, but now.
No one, but us.
Tripping
on a quarter life crisis.
Jumping off the roof.
Soaking up lunar rays
on the way down.
Touching the tide,
covered in sand,
hand in hand.

One whiskey neat too far gone
Im not supposed to think,
just be strong.
I dont feel, right?
Dont hurt, or cry.
So its ok if you lie,
and ok if you've lied.
My old innocence,
so naive.
Memories pound
as I stare and freeze.
How many times
was I used
as an honest fool.
Never again
will I be a tool
for fixing broken hearts