I turn the page in the book
And look at the chapter that lies ahead of me
They say don't look back on the past
But how would I be here without it.
All the pain, the misery, the sorrow
And the joy, the laughter, the love
If I didn't have those memories
How could I be this strong.

Another silent tear drips down my face.
Laugh, stay calm, act normal for once.
The night is a softer shade of black than my heart.
Don't let them know how much you hurt.
The pain tugs at my heart.

And* yet again it happens my thoughts collide with reality and I cannot control my tears.

.................................................................­..........sa-..................................
                 ­                                                           ve
                                                                ­              m-
                                                ­                               e I
                                                               ­               am
                                                                ­            dro
                                                 ­                         wni
                                    ­       ng in                    my
                                       own emot              ions
                                          ­please          save me
                                 from myself I am drown
                               ing in   my own thought
                             and  I     keep sinking
                             deep       er into thou
                             ghts         I need you
                               to           pull me up
                                to           safety befo
                                              re I disapp
                                              ear into the
                                                 darkest
                                                  depths
­                                                     bel
                                                      ow
    ­                                                    p
           ­                                                 l
                                                         e
                                                           a
                                                        s
   ­                                                   e
            ­                                            h
                   ­                                        e
                                                        l­
                                                      p
        ­                                             m
                                                        e
     ­                                                   b
            ­                                             e
                                                       f
                                                     o
                                                       r
                                                      e
       ­                                          **i
                                                t
           ­                                  's      
                                            t
                                            o
                                        o
                     ­                 l
                                    a
        ­                               t
                                         e
                                            .
                 ­                              .
                                            .

In the deepest cave
a monster waits.
Crouched alone I wait to be rescued
but help cannot save the blackest of souls.
As I sit and wonder,
Without a drop of hope,
The monster devours me.
Nothing ever seems to help,
Not the kiss of true love or a safe place to hide.
Nothing will help...
Nothing but you.

(Note: the italics are the narrators thoughts)


Dearest Love,
Are you okay all alone?
I miss you with all my heart.
No, I miss you with all the hearts in the world
you are the only fish in the sea for me.
I love it here in paradise.  I just wish it wasn't for work.
I hate it here with all my heart.  I dread the lack of your presence.
If only you could see the sky as the sun sets.
It reminds me of your eyes, and I cry everyday.
I hope the distance didn't cause you to forget me and pick another lover, just kidding.  I know you wouldn't do that.
You wouldn't... right... cause if you did, I'd die.
Well anyways dearest love, I hope to see you soon.
I'll book tickets for you now, even if it takes my life savings just to see your face.
I wish you were here.

Love,
More than any quantity of love imaginable.
Your one true love.
*I hope...