I was not your cup of tea

you said, as I begged you just to take one sip.

Sometimes, helping others sinks you; you lose yourself after it ends
Maybe if I was more selfish, I could have stayed longer.
If I was busier, I wouldn’t be paranoid.
If I knew someone that loved me like I loved them, I wouldn’t be distraught.
My limits weren’t my limits; they were my parents.
Not true. I never stood up to them.
Did I really love you if I never stood up for you?
In the end, the problem was me; I wasn’t careful.
We lost our spark.
I’m too emotional, I still chased you.
I was too comfortable. I was a big shot. I was wrong.
But it doesn’t matter now, I’m moving on.
Everyone I was with, I helped.
Now that I’m with me, I can help myself.
I can love myself the way nobody ever could.
I’m no longer sinking.
I’ve plugged the vessel.
I’m carefree.
I use to be the kid that motivated.
And it’s my goal to become him again.
In the end, the small things will remind.
They remind.
In the end, everything will be fine.

They say sadness
Is not forever
But happiness
Is forever fleeing
I am left
Searching for feeling
Falling through the air
Trying to hold onto something
That was never truly there

He writes poetry
But no one knows

He writes poetry
He writes about love
And loss

He writes about smiles
And frowns

He writes about sorrow
And forgotten towns

He writes about how lost he gets
Caught up in his own mind

He writes poetry to
And about others

But no one knows

Know one knows the depth of his soul
Because they all choose to see the exterior
And that exterior screams

Preppy
And preppy
Don't have souls

Or so they thought
Until the day he was consumed
By his own poetry

Stop thinking you’re not enough.
There’s different ways to be funny, different ways to be beautiful
And different ways your talent is expressed from within you

Stop thinking your not enough
Everyone got it rough
One way or another
We all came from a mother
Caused great pain to a mother

Begged for a lover
Just to become
Someone’s mother
Or someone’s father
And someone’s none of the above
Or someone’s other

But more or less someone’s.

Stop thinking your not enough
We all struck by diseases
We all praise some version of Jesus
Even those godless
Get goosebumps
And butterflies in their stomach
And seek purpose and wonder

We are all human
And at some point we
All turn fragile

And at some point we can tell each other we are not made of porcelain
And to be strong

Life’s a journey
but it’s not that long

I tell myself this
When I want to stop thinking
I’m not enough...

Some times
I think about how
The word
Alphabet
Means Alpha
And Beta
And how that
Implies a
....
Like the
Alphabet
Doesn't really
Ever end
So now the
Letter Z
Raises questions
In my brain
And I wonder
What comes
After it
That is why
I cannot
Sleep.

There are so many things
that you can judge upon;

all I ask from you is to act as
if my soul has long since gone.