My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

Christos
"anointed one"

Many there are and have been.

Buddha
Krishna
Jesus
and many many more…

These are societies current -
All have the same concept of rebirth.

Be your own anointed one, love and kindness
to family and friends, known or unknown.
Your neighbour, you local street cat or fox.

We are are anointed with possibilities.

Love to all this 2020.

Don’t say you hate it
Without having tried it first.
Hell, you might like it.

paint me with all of this love,
I'll let you carve this architecture
so that you and me can be together
and I'll look at your eyes, above.

The world is too dark
And I’m afraid
I’ll lose my eyes
Had I shed a single tear
For every fearful trial
That I’ll witness
And I’m afraid
My heart will break
Had it beat
To the symphony
Of suffering souls

I hardly remember,
A warm December.
Or a healthy high?
Until I told my family goodbye.

i picture red ugly drunks, bitter
while delirious women dance around them
Together, lathered in music,
rock symphonies trudge over their pounding headaches