She wanted to be pretty, she wanted to be accepted.
Nobody loved her not even herself.
So she decided to lose weight, she just wanted to be pretty
"10 pounds," she said.
She started exercising a few times a week and eating less.
Then every few days turned into everyday and less became nothing.
The voice in her head got louder. *"How many secrets can you keep?"
No one talked to her except the voice inside her head.
10 pounds became 15
15 became 20
20 became 25
and 25 became 30
She stood in front of the mirror, naked, smiling
hipbones jutting out of her body, spine showing.
She put her hand around her wrists and touched her pinky to her thumb.
She was so happy standing there smiling her bones showing an extreme amount.
She finally felt happiness, she was finally pretty.
She failed to notice anything happening around her, distancing herself from everyone because that's what Ana said to do.
She always listened to Ana.
Ana told her no one would love her if she was fat.
Ana said she needed to lose more weight, that she was still fat.
So that's what she did, but sometimes she would lose control and eat and eat and eat.
She had to throw it up she couldn't keep that inside and let it sit. She had to get rid of it.
So she did she threw up until she couldnt throw up anymore.
She hit a new low, 80 pounds.
And that was it that was the end. Her mom found her lying on the bathroom floor. Unconscious and she panicked. How could she have not noticed?
Now her baby was gone, dead, she couldn't bring her back.
Ana took control of her life and stole it. Stole her soul, her personality, her identity, her life
She mind was dark and her body was thin, all she ever wanted was to be pretty. But what she thought was beauty cost her, her life.

I met an old man one day
he gave me a book, an old book
I looked at him with a curious eye
he smiled to me and disappeared like a tired smoke

With trembling fingers i turned the pages
some angry dust released itself into the air,
like a result of traveling throughout the places and over the ages
that night when i read it, glued to my chair
i thought i lost my mind in an ocean of words...

But we are all a little broken
In some way we can never be the same
We are damaged
Never to be repaired
That's the way of life
You can try and fix something
You can say you repaired it
But it will never go back to its original state.

The distance between             meals have become
l   o  n  g  e  r
The thoughts of running blades across my skin are getting
stronger
The bruises on my body have stopped being accidents
The grip I had on happiness is s
                                                         l
                                                            i
                                                             p
                                                              p­
                                                               i
                                                               ­  n
                                                               ­    g