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 May 2019 brandy hall
 May 2019 brandy hall
They’ll check your wrists,
But not your thighs,
They’ll check your smile,
But not your eyes
They’ll avoid the truth,
Believe the lies,
Nothing to sooth,
No reason to cry,
Our smiles are bright,
Eyes are a bit dull,
Wrists are clean despite,
The blade with an emotional pull,
And we’re emotionally unstable,
But they say that’s okay,
We are all a bit of a riddle,
But that’s the only thing we can convey,
And the world will open to swallow us up,
But that’s okay, at least our habits remain,
And when their arms finally open up,
We will show them the reflection they taught us to shame,
So we paint a smile with the color of red,
From the thighs they didn’t check,
And from our eyes we bled.
And they'll only understand,
When the noose hold us by our necks,
And if they had thought twice,

Maybe our eyes they would have checked.
Like Severus and Lily,
We came to each other by chance.
I transfigured myself into your life
Already on a pedestal,
Our words chaining ourselves
To each other
Until death.

Years have passed
Without so much as a flicker between us
But here you stand
With the words of our pasts
Strung together and hanging like frayed ropes from your wrists.

In my dreams you come to me
With your hand outstretched,
A snake burrowed into the cuff
Of your long sleeved,
Blue-collar work shirt.
I do not hesitate to take it.
I am bitten.

I wake up in a cold sweat,
The snake of men past
Now burrowed next to me
In the king sized bed.
I am not afraid
But I do not trust.
I just broke up with my boyfriend cause i needed my own space to grow and find out who I am..
It's the hardest decission in my life and it's tearing me apart..

I lost another bit of what i call my family.. gona... torn apart.. guess drugs were more important...
Makes me feel worthless

I get 20% C's 70% B's and 10% A's those marks are lower than any i've ever gotten
Makes me feel stupid

I never go to parties cause I always have to go to work
Makes me feel lonely

But as Albus Dumbledore said it so well;
happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one just remembers to turn on the light

I believe that everything will be aright.. if i just stay positive and keep my head on high...

For those who don't know "lumos" is the spell used in Harry Potter  to turn on a light at the end of your wand
so i read stories and poems
and in most of them the
writer equates love
with touch
and i mean thats fine but here i am
an awkward ace person
i dont need to be caressed
but if you would get
me superman ice cream
and watch the half blood prince
with me and pass me tissues
when dumbledore dies
and ask if you can hold my hand
that would be neat
SPOILER ALERT for half blood prince
there was an old man
he wore a billowing cape
ebony his eyes
You could see the light growing bigger and brighter
when I broke down on all what had been lost on a whim
To sentiments tainted by a vigorous crimson
Blood-shaded hatred directed at no one in particular
But there had been moments of wonder exclusive to us
Crawling inside me like the veins in my vessel
You are my only shelter, grand savior in hell
I traded my soul just to ease all this pain
Of driving your caress and friendship away
Escape to be found where you cannot follow
Contaminated with devils, mockingly teasing
Contemplating whether death will be soothing or bleeding
fear it or not, for it will bring peace upon me
and I’ll gladly follow down the emerald path
Hoping to receive mercy at the almighty crossroad
Facing none other than Her, I’ll stand naked in front of
The indestructible, curious spirit of the auburn-haired Lovegod.
inspired by reading the harry potter books again
 Sep 2018 brandy hall
 Sep 2018 brandy hall
Always there, never wavering,
Always there, always stabling,
Always through tears,
Always through fears,
Always as the end draws near;
Always e'en though there's nothing to fear,
When he's right by my side, being my
 Sep 2018 brandy hall
You gasp in shock
In fear
The end is here
You caused this
Your eyes
Burning with guilt
Shaking with regret
Locked with desperation
I had to
You whisper
But there is no one to hear your cries
Just the inky black sky
Ensnaring you in darkness
This is your doing
Little death boy

A serpent
Winding up your arm
Wrapping round your throat
It hisses in your ear
Of fear
And of misery
You’re frozen in place
It’s venom filling your mind
Rendering you useless
Your lips tremble
Silver eyes hidden
Behind milky hair
why are you hiding?
Little death boy

Is this who I have to be?
Is this all that there is for me?
Just destruction
Just despair
Are the bringer
Death paints itself into
Your very being
Into your soul
The serpent slithers it’s way
Into your heart
It’s hold
All powerful
The fear of failure
Taints the back of your throat
Rising like bile
You’re scared of death
You’re scared of survival
There is no place for you
Little death boy

Hold your head high
Do not let them know
You’re fragile
You’re terrified
You’re not the sharp
Cutting man
They believe you to be
You’re nothing
Just a wisp of smoke
Easily ripped apart
By a gentle breeze
The snake winds tighter
There’s no escape for you
No redemption
No saviour
You shall rot
And this,
This is your destiny
Living your whole life
Weary and pale
Waiting for the world
To chew you up
And spit you out
Battered and broken
Blank and listless
Dark and lonesome
This is who you
Were born to be
Bringer of death
Whether you even wanted to be
Does not matter
Never the hero
Never the kind
Never the feeling
Little death boy
 Sep 2018 brandy hall
blood rushing into my head
painless, but yet burning; white
perhaps now i have died a saintly death
i will be remembered as a hero
not a coward;
perhaps now i have died a saintly death
i will be worthwhile to remember
not worthless
perhaps now i have died a saintly death
i will be known for my kindness
which never existed
to cover up what really happened
perhaps now i have died a saintly death
somebody will cry that they love me
instead of me being hated
perhaps now i have died a saintly death
everything will be better
at least death has its own dwellings
This is the first poem I have ever published, hope you enjoy it.
I just thought somebody would like to see something from a different perspective.
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