why do i continue writing when absolutely no one is listening to me?

i sailed my heart away from your violent waves
never again will i be pulled under the currents which you cannot face
i sailed for so long until i reached the shore
you became my sad and lost gone love, nothing more

so if they come looking for my body
don't tell them where i hid it
and if they ask where i was last seen
don't tell them it was by the river
and if they ask what happened
tell them that it never even mattered

sometimes writing about it just makes the emotions even worse.

and i'm tearing out my insides to give you space
you've made me so empty but it's all okay
because you simply being happy is all that really mattered to me
and you wanted me gone, i couldn't play the part you wanted me to play
i failed as i seem to do with everything
you're in a better place now, away from what was once me
we said our sullen goodbyes and you turned without looking back once
your back was so bright, and full of light
i gravitated all of the dark towards myself
and it didn't matter, because i loved you more than i have ever loved myself
and if you're happy now, then don't ever look back
i will still be standing there
decaying, rotting flesh
i am no longer beautiful and you are so wonderful
so don't let me taint you, again
you paved life, and you deserve to remain there
while i wither
i wither and die

i'm so tired of sticking around, hoping that someone eventually will care
it's a sick twisted cage feeding off whatever i have left to offer
this end has an end, it always has
it has never been so clear to me before now

i would walk in the snow and cold, just to see you smile, to absorb some of your warmth,
but you would slam the door in my face and tell me to go home