I can feel the pressure building
But I don't want to burst, I'm not ready.
I don't want to cry anymore,
so don't let me.
Just hold me,
tell me something, anything to help me
I don't want to shatter.
I'm so afraid of the backlash and chatter.
Don't walk away yet,
please don't go.
I'm so ******* tired of being alone.
That's all last year was,
and it's eaten at me enough.
I can feel the monsters teeth still,
gnawing into my heart.
It burns like nothing else.
I want to erase it all from the start.

For so long I was blinded,
but now I see clearly.
You blamed me,
you can never be at fault.
Maybe twice you gave in
but the rest was barren.

In the beginning it was obvious,
I was struck with a new kind of substance.
but mixed in with the distance, lies and resistance.
It felt like for so long, I was inexistent.

I tried so hard,
but I was never your lifeguard.
I was just a distraction,
and I'm sure, soon enough you'll be on to the next one.

We danced a convincing number,
but your steps were always out of order  
you played me a beautifully painful song,
leaving my ears bleeding all night long

I wanted to keep dancing with you,
I wanted to sing by your side  
I tried to move slower, faster too,  
I tried to sing in the right tune...

Little did I know,
when you were looking away,
You were staring at the one
who couldn't dance the right way

Her bad moves, spread to you, maybe unintentionally,
Then you hurt me, you crushed me, you pushed me away...

Now we're no longer dancing.
We'll never sing again,
and I'm all alone now,  
Smiling again.

it's all over
you told me the truth,
you said the words
that i think i always knew.
it's all over with you.

I want to hold on to you,
even if it burns me.
I want to be next to you,
despite how you've hurt me.

When I try to write poetry these days,
I feel tone deaf with the words I choose in some ways.
"How should I word this,
If I say that will readers catch on,
will he catch on?"
It makes me want to stop.