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Isabella Sep 2020
What happened to her
Once she was lively and bright
Now she seems broken
Isabella Sep 2020
Thunderstorms rage outside my window
Lightning blinks at it watches me cry
If I drowned in the rain, no one would know
Amidst the chaos nobody would notice me die
Rewrite of the last two lines from a poem I wrote a few years ago..
Isabella Sep 2020
The slicing sting of the blade as it strokes my skin
Is not pain
But relief
From the raw bleeding within.

The draining drips of crimson as it drowns the floor
Is not unsettling
But reassuring
Compared the truest stomachache of all.
Living
Isabella Sep 2020
I reveal to you
The scars I've always tried to conceal from you
I make a deal with you
That if you break me I promise I won't heal from you

I barely showed you the cracks in my heart and you said you'd help me when I fall apart but words are just that they are empty and cold and you left me behind which is just what I told you would happen. Again and again and again.

You found the parts of me that were still tender, caressing my wounds to make me feel better, then dug a knife into my exposed skin proving to me you're exactly like him. Again and again and again.

With the steel blade you carved out my heart, I'm left again hollow like I was at the start, but it's my fault for letting you in, yes it's my bad you showed me you'd win. Again and again and again.

Maybe one day when my body grows numb I'll meet someone who sees everything I've become and loves every part of me, broken pieces and all, someone who'll hold me when I seem to fall. Again and again and again.

I conceal from you
The scars I've always tried to reveal to you
I break a deal with you
That if you love me I promise I won't heal from you
Isabella Aug 2020
'Tis a broken song to sing, a bleak melody to ponder
The aching loneliness doth bring, wounds not healing any longer
Tune flows out like streams of blood, lyrics sharp and somber
A poet's hurt such as a flood, waves crashing ever stronger

Teardrops of the mighty flood, have now trickled to a river
Feet treading through the layers of mud, in their failing feat they quiver
A siren weeping ripples here, mourning love thou refused to give her
That broken song caressing ears, a touch chilling as a shiver

Her throat burns yet she goes on, soft enough to make the earth quake
The very ground thou steps upon, rumbling with her tragic ache
How doth thou turn a blind eye, she's been torn by thou mistake
Her very soul doth cry, while thou can hardly even shake

A storm 'tis passed tonight, though thou shall not repent
Siren sings beneath blue moonlight, of the love she doth resent
A lullaby to make thou tremble, deep beneath the twisted torment
No longer shall she dissemble, all but you shatter at the poet's lament
dedicated to a dear friend of mine. heartbreak is never easy <3
Isabella Aug 2020
I could chew the skin off of my thumb,
Or force my teeth to bite my tongue.
I could eat my lip til it goes numb,
Or press the air out of my lungs.

I could scratch my arms until they bleed,
Or dig my nails into my cheeks.
I could swallow copper I don’t need,
Or hold my throat til I can’t speak.

I could break my bones to set me free,
Or feel my crimson tingly seethe.
I could rub my eyes til I can’t see,
Or exhale deep so I can’t breathe.

The violence fills my mouth with cherries,
Ever sweeter than before.
A taste unlike all the other berries,
And I salivate for more.
You may have to read this a few times to understand what I mean, however I encourage you to interpret it your own way.
Isabella Aug 2020
2am
My gaze tracing the lines on the ceiling
2am and I hope my heart’s healing
My body’s numb to any real feeling
As I hear my mind’s worries revealing

I hate that hardly anyone likes me
And the few who do still might leave
I hate that I’m laying here crying
Which will lead to puffy eyes in the morning

I wish I could just love myself first
Or at least go back to when I felt sure
I wish I could be my own shelter
Away from a world where I get hurt

My fingers tracing the tears staining my cheeks
My sobs dulling the ache inside me
2am and my skull is still spiraling
As the black abyss of the night tries to hide me
now i’ll try to sleep
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