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i look into a mirror
and two empty orbs stare back at me

who is she?
my first love, as i want to say
but then i wasn't old enough
to even know what love is
so my first crush
wasn't something special nor romanic
it was a boy to whom every girl was crushing
it's what i told everybody
but in reality
from time being i have always
liked boys who were not like the others
to whom none were crushing on
'cause it made me feel special
i've always been selfish
...
/M.A./
 Feb 2018 Haley Elizabeth
kaj
ew you’re on your period
that’s disgusting
and whenever i get a "feminine product"
i have to hide it deep down where nobody sees it
but you see
we live in a world where our own girls are getting *****
i’m a girl, not a *** object
but in the eyes of a ****** that is
exactly
what
i am
but i’m not an object
i am a person
i am a life giver
just imagine if men were as disgusted in **** as they are with periods
in the sixth grade
when the word period was mentioned
the whole room would burst out in laughter
i am a girl
my lady bits bleed
and that’s what makes me strong
and that’s what makes me a young woman
and that’s what will make me a mother one day
so ew you’re on your period
that’s disgusting
is not an insult to me
The ghost at my feet is
Billowy and brave till
The very last of its will
Lies influence its all-encompassing candor
It follows me around, omnipresent
As if not here but not gone
Either— dispelled at once
By the wind’s spacious strokes
Yet it always finds its way back
To trip this buckle that I’ve left
Undone
To the wire
To the bone— striking
It’***** home— yonder
The younger woman crying
Beyond her I hear it gallivanting
The ghost carries its own
Distinct energy—
Its smirk is omnipotent, lush,
Extroverted
In the silence that reigns
The death of grandma's face
Feigns a shadow below
It’s taken its toll, as it’s done
So many times before
Despite the decades
Its presence never truly fades
Like it’s torn between leaving
And haunting me, forever
In some humorous eternity
.
For some it is a poetic crime
to ever use an imperfect rhyme.
As the Emperor of enunciation
I embrace differing pronunciation.
So chain not words up in a prison
let them go with their own rhythm.
.

© Pagan Paul (Sept 2015)
.
Old poem I found in a notebook, previously unpublished.
I think I wrote it for another site where there were
a lot of snobbish 'academic' poets.
.
 Feb 2018 Haley Elizabeth
Mb
I fear water and words.
They can be so deep sometimes.
Is it a verse,a story or a sonnet.
Or a mere pool, lake or the biggest ocean on this planet.
For the real fear doesn't creep in when I dive.
It does when I go too deep in search of life.
Deep words imprint on my mind, they scar.
Deep water drowns me in it,
Couldn't be found without a radar.
I think I'm not just yet ready to dive.
For,
deep water and words might scar me for life.
I have not forgotten your name
nor what you did to my heart
the way it skipped a beat
from the way you light up
any room like a piece of art
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