Nevermind dinner.
Hungry sinner.

Burning excess calories off through dance -
ones forgotten to ingest in the first place.

Nutrition ain't no competition.
Playing a game I've got no chance of winning.
Biting off more than I can digest.
I surrender.

No contest.

And that's it.
And this is it.
Left alone in an unfamiliar room;
Trying hard not to feel tragic.

Yea, I might stay up,
But I won't do anything indecent.
I can't think too clearly with this constant ringing in my head.
Despite this.
In sight of this.
Blindsided by this.

I wish.

we all have secrets
hidden within our shadows
expanding at night

I was barren
A deserted landscape
Full of papercuts from my house of cards
And a tree with no more leaves
I would watch the earth crack
And pick at the places where the ground split
Until I was isolated
I couldn't move
All I could do was think
A task best done when morale is not so low
I was addicted to feeling pain
Pain that I could measure and prescribe myself
I self medicated with insults and inhalants
Mockery and mutalation
Addicted to my meds is what I became
So addicted to sadness
I never wanted it to leave

But here I am
Clean and cultivating
The fruit that
My new land has produced
And now I feel good
Mind and heart content
I can finally love you

Abandonment comes in many forms
I like to abandon ideas like people abandon me
Seemingly without cause and with no intent to return

-j.e.m (7.29.15)

Let's dig a well together,
then we'll fill it with all our dreams;
Precious gems, secret treasure,
a myriad of fantastical things.

So when reality gets caught in our throat,
and we get that feeling like we can't breathe,
we can just go out to the well that we've built.
We'll never again go thirsty.

And if a nightmare slips in -
attempting to poison our well -
we'll just fish it out,
and bury it in the backyard.

You bring the flowers,
I'll bring the shovel.

Sinking is simple.
Drowning is easy.
Rowing is hard.

Climbing into the boat -
that's kind of tricky,
especially when the wind is trying to convince you to swim instead.

Floating is a breeze;
you just need something to give you buoyancy,
but you'll never get anywhere that way,
and sharks are waiting underneath.

Sailing is difficult.
Navigating is complicated.
I just want to find an island
where my mind won't be confiscated.

Pirates are everywhere;
taxing and taking,
pillaging and breeding spawn who will grow up
feeding a corrupted captain whose name remains unknown.

I just want to find an island.
I just want a place to call my own.