I either eat too much or starve myself. Sleep for 14 hours or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard or hate passionately. I don't know what Grey is. I never did.

So you've hit rock bottom.

Have you realized it yet?

Have you caught your breath yet?

Are you learning to breath again?

I've watched from a distance. I watched it all unfold around you.

I've seen the ground crumble and shatter beneath your feet.

I don't call this karma. I don't rejoice in your suffering.

Watching life knock you to the ground is not something that warms my heart.

I want to reach for you. I feel that same pull on my heart and it wants nothing more than to pull you up on your two feet and to breath life back into you. To fill you again with a love that could bring you back to life....  

But my hand retracts...as the remembrance of your hurtful words come flooding back into my mind.

The dark cloud of memories soars in and circles me. The sleepless nights, the tear soaked pillows, the plague of emptiness and heartache. It knocks me off my feet and I'm torn.

What am I to do? You destroyed me, and turned me to ash.

So my love will remain here with me. Locked away deep for no one to see. Avoiding your blazing fire that has burned me so many times for getting to close.

I pray Gods Love lifts you up. And I'm only sorry it couldn't be mine...

When you're bipolar you can't really control your emotions. Everything hits you like a wave. And you can't take it all in because it's exactly like being hit by a wave. You panic and try to grab a hold of the ground to keep you from going deeper, but the grip loosens and the next thing you know you're neck deep.

There was a girl
In this world
With total absence
Of light and
She was hurled
Upon the darkness

But one day
She fell under the spell
Of his eyes,
Her life was well
But sadly she discovered
All his lies,

And their love story ends there
But she was missing him so much,
Craving his love
And caring touch

So she brought him into her life
Despite his actions that came like knives,
She absorbed his poison
And called it love*

Because he was like a drug to her, like a shiny red apple but rotten and toxic inside, one that slowly consumes every bit of you, but it's impossible to escape his compelling magnetism.