Perfection
I chanted at my reflection
As if answering a question
asked by their rejection

My favorite song
Reminds me of you
My rhythms gone
In every single tune
My visions lost
And every colour's blue
I can't do
The things that I usually do
Its all consumed
By you

I don't wanna wild
And I don't free
I don't wanna be swept away
By the wind you see
Take me out of the hurricane
Cause it's lingering
I don't wanna be lost in the moment



I just wanna be his

He was a man
He was much bigger than me
His heart bigger than his chest and it towered over me

You don't stroke my hair
Your hands stay far from mine
Far from the time our fingers intertwined
To me your smile can still be seen
When I witness your smile at things that aren't me
Your eyes don't share secrets as they did before
What we share is years, nothing less, nothing more
So don't touch me now
My skin might tare
The years have stripped it dull and bare
Don't hang around
And don't stroke my hair
I've already forgotten that you were ever there

I look for meaning
I write it down
I make it rhyme with different sounds
Then I share it
Like I'm doing now
This little bit of honesty
I think I found

You came in with the rain
And the winds and thunder were following
Now the clouds have long since passed
But I'm still dripping

Oh, Scarlet's got a boyfriend now
She says she thinks she found the one
Well I don't what love is all about
I'm happy for her anyway

Oh they say that "You've missed out"
Cause you don't understand the misery
Oh they say that "you've gotta find out
I'd rather keep it all a mystery

My friend don't you worry about me
I'm fine
I got my head on my shoulders
My friend only cares about things
like time
She say we're only getting older

We all cry from time to time
In between sheets and behind our eyes
When the heaviness of everything weighs on our minds
We scream out in agony these very lines:
How could the world be so unfair to me
When I was born a baby with nothing to share or bring
Yet it placed its weight down on my bare skin
And gave me the sharp end of all it has to give
And while I haven't yet cause any sins to be punished
It made it its business to show me whats ugly
And even though there are those who suffer much deeper
Pain than I have ever come to witness
I know that there are those living abundantly
Who have done things thats deserving of this suffering
I may be no saint but I am no demon either
So lift up your reigns and give me my freedom

Why do my eyes want to see you?
When there are there are constellations and mountains and sunsets to look at
Yet my eyes are not satisfied until they find you
With your tired eyes that shut slowly behind the steam from your coffee mug
While the flowers are blooming and valleys are forming and cherry blossom petals are fluttering to the ground
I'm gazing over at you
My back turned to any other sight that could be more fulfilling
What more is there to see after I've spent hours facing you?
Why do my eyes tear when they can't find your face?
I have already found every freckle on your cheeks
Smile and make them dance for me
Let those hidden creases below your cheek bones bend and breath when you let your laugh out
Throw your head back and let those curls take flight
Just be you doing what humans do
Reacting to things as a human being should
As I'm reminded that most things are more worth seeing
Than a basic normal average human being
My eyes widen and whisper to me
"This is the show we came to see"

I never played with fire
I was too scared I'd get burnt
But, I played with you
And got myself hurt

I want to feel love
Swelling up inside me like a cancer
that doctors can't cut out of me  
And spreads so rapidly
through my entire being
so that even my soul feels it

Am I what I fear?
When she's so frighteningly near
Almost ear to ear
Closer still my dear
Close like the sea to the pier
A bee to nectar
Monarch to his sceptre
She's the sun on my receptors
Her skin has a temper
Like piping hot embers
It burns through November
In the African weather
My skin turns to leather
And I crease under pressure
That I almost whisper
What is kept under murmur
Still she comes hither
I'm at the end of my tether
So I let the words flutter
And escape through the stutters
Of my mouth as I utter
Things we should never mutter
To ourselves or each other
Come sunshine or thunder
But she's a storm like no other
And when we came close to each other
She destroyed my shelter
Drenched I stand here to tell her
While she's so frighteningly near
Almost ear to ear
"Come closer my dear,
For I am what I fear"

We've been here before
And its never been "amazing"
A word reserved for new beginnings
Not the same old same things
So familiar and worn
That its browning and aging
As if left out on the lawn
Because its not worth saving

To afford "amazing" would be amazing
But amazing is not a necessity
Other needs are more pressing
So it fades from our vocabulary
To make room for whats usable
Like things that aren't accessories
And like the boxes in the garage
It fades from our memories

I drew a circle around you
And set you aside
I plucked you from the masses
And called you mine

Maybe you didn't mean to hurt me
Maybe you had a bad day
Maybe there's a war raging inside of you that I'm not a part of
Maybe I spoke too much
Maybe I said something that hurt you
Maybe I should apologize for striking a nerve
Maybe I'm being unfair
Maybe I'm giving you too little credit
Maybe I shouldn't just assume next time
Maybe its just one of those days
Maybe I should justblet this one slide
Maybe everything will be better tomorrow?

Rest your eyes
and let go of tonight
I'll still be loving you in the morning

I've a stiffness hurting my wrist
But I'll hold out my hand and blow you a kiss
Bury your face in my neck, I insist
As I buried my heart in your fist

I drank away my wealth
And I'm a bit drunk now
Sitting on the back of the bus
Reclining in my seat
Remembering a time when I wasn't in this deep
When my regrets had a resolution that was never this steep
**** I get nervous remembering those things
For past is a wormhole that swallows me whole
And leads me down a path that always leads me back home
A place I knew once when I wasn't so grown
And a front door welcomed a man a lot less old
But I've long grown too fond of struggling alone
With the coins in my pocket already half way gone
The youth I once knew wasted in the wind
Just sitting on the back seat of a bus
Sunken into the creases in my skin

The window is open
Letting in all the specks and dust from the street
They settle on the floor and wiggles their way in between the floor boards
Mother won't be happy to find that there is more sweeping to be done
More wiping off of table tops
More time spent keeping this place looking intouched and un lived in
Where is she now?
Is she in the garden ripping weeds out from in between the sunflowers?
Did she need to take some more washing down from the line in the yard?
Or is she chatting to Mrs Brown next door about all the things the children need for the new semester?
Will it surprise her that there is more work to be done?
Or has she grown accustomed to finding that there is more for her to keep under her thumb?
Her mind knows where everything thing is and should be
Her hands know where they are needed
Her eyes has see everyones troubles and searched for the proper solution for each
But, where is mother now?
Where is mother?

The sound of her heart beating next to him kept him awake. In the dead of night he was alive with passion. As the minutes went on it grew thick within him, breathing and stretching and maturing in his chest. He was roused next to her as she drifted away far from the world they had shared just a few short moments ago.

He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to be awake and alive and wild with him, like the flowers that grew on the south side of a valley. But she wandered off into the distance and wouldn't return for the next few hours.

It was his fault, he knew that. She had told him once that his presence brought a sense of calm to her that she hadn't known since she was young girl sitting on her grandfather knee being rocked to the creek of his old rocking chair and that the pressure of his arms around her passively gave her a peace that could ooze a teething baby to sleep.

So, taking his punishment for wanting to hold her tightly, he watched her sleep. And allowed his passion to simmer and follow her into the nights wormhole. Caressed to sleep by the sound of her heart beating next to him.

could you climb inside my skin and become a part of my insides?
could you leave parts of yourself bEHIND YOU WHEn YU DO?
IF OUR STArs ALIGN WILL THEY STRIP DOWN AND COMBINE?

Brian only knew that he felt alive. Nothing else…

Her hair on his arms as they danced, her heart in his hands. They drifted across an empty floor. He knew just that she made him want to be there, and nowhere else in the world. it’s all he could think about, yet even in this childish state, he knew more than she did. She knew how to dance, that much was clear. But she didn’t know she was dancing with wolves. She could play a beat, but tonight she was playing with fire. The kind that burns villages down.

The music kept them alive, like gas does a flame. The air pushed them around, like the children they were. That pure energy brought by fearlessness and stupidly at the same time to bring a mood to life that never existed, but was created for just this moment.

I wish everyone knew how sweet it is to be loved by you
To explore the ***** down your back and the comfort of your chest
To see you smile from the bed of your pillow as the sunrays grace your cheek
And to graze the tip of your nose with theirs until lips touch and everything else becomes secondary characters it the moment built for you embrace

She beams on me
I thought the heavans had opened
Touches my skin
And burned me smooth and golden
For crying out loud
Her hands are molten
I'm pulled into her orbit
But this air is potent
My body is whipped from spinning in this motion
I could drown in all of her
My feet's already soaking
And consume the lot of her
Until I'm bloated
And to relieve the pain
They need to split me open
To reveal that she filled me
To the extent that I've been hoping

The sadness of our existence is that we have the enormity of pulsating breathing, conversing and erupting life bursting in and through our veins,
But we only exist to a tiny portion of the other existing objects that walk on and off the universal planes
And to most, we only exist to a tiny portion of our own brains

Its unfair that I spend my whole life being poor
And that the idea of money follows me around even into deep sleep
Every day has a monetary value because time is money my friend
Zar hovers over me and hides in the corners of my eyes
he tied himself to my ankles when I was born and as a consequence I'm forced to drag him along with me as I climb the account balance ladder
never able to reach the top because of the weight bonded to my feet
I drag you around, you are now my shadow
Oh lord zar who resides in the house of wallet
The more of you I have the more I want
So I'll spend my whole life being poor

I'm not the me who can be with the she I believe
I'm not the she that can belong to the he either it seems
If I be the me that I desire to see me complete
then the crease in my sheets will never come out or be clean
and the mirror that reflects the her will  never have sheen
so the me that I need will never be seen
not by the them or the they or the eyes that they keep
and the she that I seek will be covered from these
and the hurt it would cause will become her disease
so I'll keep the me I maybe could be
in the silence and chambers of my secretes and dreams

oh to sleep and retire from myself
to have my legs and and arms drift through the folds of my sheets
yet even if they wonder
I will follow in between
and form pictures that try to explain what my eyes have seen
and carried in my skull and buried underneath
escape is to wake and control what can creep
and leak into my sight and seep  from the deep
in the daytime my secretes are trinkets for me to keep
that at night I surrender to  the helplessness of sleep

free from the feathers
wet and hanging
from my shoulders
as if the roof melted and dripped down my arms
it became the floor and exposed the air
and suddenly
I could fly into the air
if only my feet wasn't stuck to the ground
in meters of wet gooey melted ceiling water

***** the future he says
Now just seems like more of an interesting place to place your feet
Tomorrow exists only if we make it past this point where we find ourselves
So take a breath baby, and let it out only of when you feel the ground pulling you forward

I patted down my pockets to hide the bulges of passion you left curdling through me after you walked past
And I knew I was different
And the Lord would never permit the want I had stored up for you in my heart

I felt his shoulder under my head
And suddenly I didn't need a floor under my feet to feel a stable foundation

You are the problem
But you're thinking you're the solution
You confident in your confusion
You're the ghost and the illusion
Of something that should be saving us
But you've opened the grave for us
You're not the event
You are the circumstance
You become clearer in the second glance
But your true shape is in the shadow you cast
It defaced you in the looking glass
You are problem not the solution
Not the air, you're the pollution
You don't deserve a fair inclusion
My thoughts in my conclusion
Is that its not fair you get to move on

And we were both there
Noticing each other
Affecting each other the way the waves carve patterns in the sand on the shore
Knowing but not knowing
Both wanting to be sure before we dipped our toes in
Being brave
We didnt meet
We fitted

When i am asleep, i dream naturally
My mind forms images that are not calculated by any mathematical or grammatical sanity
They are squiggles beyond the bounds of time and space
They are fierce and rough and out of place
My dreams are not a part of my world or a substantial image of my face
And if i truly think about them in my rational state, i can't explain them or argue their case
So they must be nothings, thats all i can say
But when I'm awake and can see and form and draw and structure my reality
I can create my world and decide its ebbs and flows, be the the future of it all dim
So if being asleep means being trapped in the realm of insanity
Then being awake must mean freedom in my reality

I don't like passions
That passion the lovers speak of
I keep those fires at a great distance
I use them for heaters
I can feel their heat and not allow them in
To breath life to foolish hopes or give entry to sins
I don't like passions or those types of things

Torched my soul to cure the bleeding
Ate myself whole to stop the feeling
Burnt to a crisp, I stumble and fidget
The man at the back of me step forward and whispered
That it hurts when it hurts, there's no peace when healing

Our hands couldn't touch because they were too similar
So we decided to put our backs together instead
And faced opposite sides of the world
So that our lips would never utter the same words ever again

fingertips on my chest
Palms to my rib cage
He feels me before he touches me

he's untouchable

I used to drink alone,
But empty bottles emptied out the spaces between me, myself and I
Us three opinionated things accusing one another of being the godhead of our body
Talking until dawn about how ****** the beer tastes and hollow the bottles have gotten

He was so heavy
That she eroded away under him
But his body craved into her all the feelings her muscles were designed to react to
So she allowed herself to get grinded down into sand

And that's how the desert built a river...

Don't touch me
Because i want it
You have someone who wants you the same
Waiting where you left her
Where You've built an alter for you two be rest on
So don't touch me
Because I'm on the outside
You have someone who loves you
You can't have someone who wants you too

after locking yourself out of me
you immediately felt the urge to return to the space inside of me
and you looked at me as if i was the one who caused it

I drift in and out of You
As if I am the air You allow to slip in between your lips

You are the shore line and I am the waves
Ever chasing You, grabbing at the parts of You I can never saturate

Evern the ocean thirsts after you
You are the moisture the desserts wish they knew

Diligently, I leave my umbrella behind when the sky look gray
But You are the clouds that never bring rain
With my chin to my chest as the sun shows up again
I know that when the clouds fill the sky, I'll be waiting there again

Quiet down my dear heart
And let your silence call him into your chambers

She cried into her lap when she lost her innocence
Not because the wanted it to reappear inside of her
But, because she would never again experience the pleasure of losing it

My soul understands my brain
And when the world collectively declines from understanding my ways
My brain will understand my soul all the same

7 eight 9
And I was next in line
The next time
You see those lines
Crease on the shell of my mind
And you find
That I've shut the blinds of my eyes
Understand that one trait of my kind
Is that we get eaten up all the time

You played the the biggest role in the background
So the audience never heard your song
You spent all that time being ugly
When you were beautiful all along