I buried my hands in his pockets
And found a quiet place for us to live at the bottom
Tucked in between fibers of the fabric and his hands
I can hide away until everyone forgets who I am...

I have you ever felt the rain
drip and drop directly onto your brain
And rinse his face right out of you memories
Causing a puddle to form under your heels
That eventually creates a river
And while the rain water causes your arms to shiver
You collect the broken wood from the wreck the storm left over
To build a bridge and cross right over

I don't wanna listen to you anymore
Spilling your icky gooey brain all over the table
Fingers turn to fists
Turn your music into discs
and I'll be in the car on my way home
With the powder still on the tip of my nose
Smells better that fresh air
Taste better than the blood I tasted on your tongue
Sit, it feels better than sitting on the hood while we go at 60 in a 45
he thinks about pineapples, I think about plums
I sip coca cola, he drowns in ***
No matter the amount of love he's in
Feelings are paper thin
As his words increase in amount
And loses track of what its about
He loses his mind
Because most of his brain has already leaked out

A call from you bring my thoughts to succession
A sweet arrangement of my childhood recollections
The riddled anxiety that still today is omnipresent
And funnels through adulthood like bumper cars at an intersection
Or is it that your remnants clings to my insides like an infection?
That burning sensation that to me still feels like blessings
It bubbles in my ears beating my eardrums to shreds every second
There's no question
I have a penchant
For the mere mention of us again

Not everyone in the world
Wants to be like you
Or share your opinion
No matter how much you think that your are the ultimate being

Quality silence
Hearing the jerking and workings of the world
With enough peeps funneling through for the room to be filled
Yet over and under our talking occurs
And we converse for hours without saying a word

My lips pushed against his chest when he pulled me in
I breathed in his scent, this is better than fresh air could ever be
Pressed against his chest,  counting  the rhythm of his hearts song
Clamped in tight, I watched the sunrise from in between his arms

He's dressed for snow
Under his winter coat
hangs a heavy heart dangled from weighed down shoulders
upon his brow is a fist full of thoughts
Brought about by a misunderstanding of other people's lives
Or misunderstanding of his own
He couldn't be sure
All he knows is that its cold
And he has to get to work

I hung onto your face until it solidified and tied itself to my anckles
And as I was being pulled down to the ocean floor
I realized that it was an anchor not a life jacket

Creative, I'm not
But sticky and soft
And bubbles of blue and circles of froth
I'm stains on couches that ruin the set
But without all those faults there wouldn't be much left

The light reflected off his jawline
It made the sun seem like a dim light swinging in a damp basement
I suddenly felt angry at my knees for giving in under me
But those arms
Well, I could never be made at them

He's viciously attractive
So I religiously ignore his backwards way of seeing things
And fall into his arms day after night
As if the floor itself inclined to the left and I could do nothing but slip closer and closer to his place
Where he'd always be waiting for me
With a warm arm open and a cigar between his lips

So i threw it back up on them
All the expectations, accusations, imaginations, insinuations, detestations, frustrations that they forced down my neck
When I finally opened my mouth
I painted them with it

To imagine is to be more
To be only human is as useless as being your work PC
But to close your eyes but still be able see
To be awake but still be able to dream
To run a mile without leaving your seat
To be to center of all these things
That sure sounds a whole lot like being free...

So you know who you are
It doesn't mean you have your **** together
Just because you carry an umbrella doesnt mean you know the weather
You're not the designer just because you bought the sweater
Smothering an animal doesn't automatically make it leather
Besides, there are other things that die under pressure
So whatever
Just because you read a book once doesn't make you the author
You're not a sail boat just because you can float in water
Not fitting in doesn't mean you're from mars
Just like e-cigarette smoke doesn't turn it into cigars
Having a map doesn't mean you know where you are
They said you're bright
You're not a star
You don't have your **** together
You just know who you are

i'm sorry i continued to laugh
While Your insides were being ripped
out onto the floor
That day You hated me for
i grew up and hated me more

I wondered if he knew that my soul danced whenever he'd bite his lip and call me his girl
That the concept of myself being his in his head the made sweat form on my collar bones
That the very suggestion that other girls were just labeled other girls but I wore the label of 'his'
Meant that flowers could bloom and die, the sun could set and rise, the wind could blow and subside, but still within and outside
He was mine...

I would embrace myself, but arms are far and few
And though the brisk air of solitude is thick enough to be considered company
I still look out the wondow to see if anyone else is coming
Surely there is a reason for my solidarity, that crept up on me like an armed robber in the dead of night
When one is alone you find yourself is what I've been told
But all I've found was myself crying in the frame of this window for a face to greet and hand to hold

A familiar noise beating in my chest
Sends me laying flat down on the floor counting the cracks in the ceiling
I feel comfort here
wedged between the open air above me
And the solid floor beneath
This is where I've always lived

How is it that I impose my emotions onto another?
Without having it leak through the pores of my fingertips
Through thought I experience myself
But My thoughts barely breach the threshold of the conversation I keep
Though I investigate the lives of others by digging my nails deeply into them
My heart never seems to follow the swaying of their rhythm
So I gather up the parts of me I allowed to explore and make myself up to be a solitary figure
Who only grazes the surface of the world
And I dance within myself
Careful to bump shoulders kindly
To avoid exposing myself as someone who is living apart from the rest of them

I've thought about it,
Time and time again
I've thought about just splitting my chest open and letting myself spill out onto the dinning room table
And just leaving the mess there until its sticky and maroon
But I never do
My biggest fear though,
is not how painful it will be to slice through my own flesh
My biggest fear is that I'll never pick up the knife and actually allow myself to feel it

Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I'll pull a trigger if you don't let me take the week off
Its my birthday and I'm so ******* sick of
All your **** so I'll lock down and blow your **** off
Put your
Hands up its a stick up
And I pray that this is the way its supposed to be love
Cause if I go ahead and pull this tigger
We might lose everything that you and me was
So I
Show off and blow off
All that steam I have boiling in my colon
I am me, so why the hell would I be somone
Else you think that I will live doubt but
All my wounds are filled with cigarettes and alcohol
So yes indeed
I feel that this little blow up
Is owed to me for eating all of yoyr **** up
So do me favor
***** your behavior
I'm no saviour
I'm here to make you
Put your
Hands up
Its a stick up...

Stuck in the vortex
Of thinking you know everything
But knowing nothing
Guess we're all Hipsters?

i’m not compatible
With any codes or formats of the human animal
i’m an identity cannibal
With hungry dementors creeping out my finger holds
i’ll sink my teeth in any other being until i become actual
That’s simply transnational
i’m fictional until proven factual
But what can i truly be called?
i sometimes wonder if i’m an extraterrestrial
Or i could be a disease
You probably wouldn’t even notice
That next to you and inside me too i’m not part of your species
But believe me
If i could be a human i probably would be
Instead of living in the facade of my human personality
Maybe i could be a demigod
A diverging half person while merging with a centaur
Maybe as a child, while meek and mild i was left on the step of a synagogue
And monks and priests prayed over me and summoned up my human parts
Or maybe i’m a deception
And during birth i fell to earth and grew up into a desk job
But late at night when out of sight i transform into an autobot
Tare off my human skin and do some tricks in the parking lot

Or maybe i’m just a person
Who doesn’t really fit into any kind of person list and
Just maybe my ways are little bit reversed and
Maybe next week i’ll send this verse in
Bold letters into the universe and
Just maybe it will send me a tombstone and a hearse and
i’ll just die to the self outside of myself
And become an actual person

The better collective is outside of me
The parts of the world that could never converge with me
In my chest is a hollow nest of surging threads
That scrap and pulsate against each other
The unrest carries itself into my flesh and makes me shudder
And makes me lift my hands and arms to hurt my brother
But the world around me is a blissful sea
Of people who don't know what lies beneath
The soft sheets that forms me
There where there is strangers passing each other in the street
Without so much as an acknowledgment to speak
There is the place I want to be
Far from the familiar haste that Lives within me
That breaths and beats and eats constantly

I didn't die
I just surrendered
And of course, the wilting began soon afterwards

Let the spiders eat me away
i'm not finding life any less constricting that the webs they lay
Life is too short anyway
whats the point in adding more hope to the already bent tray
I won't find joy in pretending to be okay
I won't find myself counted with the pretenders who pray
that one day they'll wake up and be what they say
Instead i'll thread the waters of life's turbulent bay
with the thought that everything will end at the end of the day
i'm more that happy to live and die this way

Summer's nice
With the air outside
But the breath in me
Is potentially
The warmest thing
That could even be
Heavenly sweat and green
And helps me know that I'm still living

rich body
poor body
under the sand one day will be your body
after days of standing in the store sobbing
about the price of milk and soap and coffee
a heap of flowers with a tomb stone in the middle
your name and date in polshed granite scribbles
For what is a grave
But a man and his perceptions
a body with hands cracked of services rendered
forget long lines at shopping mall centers
because under the sand none of that will be remembered
then days of your thoughts will be ages away
and the grass and thorns will weather your grave
so rich man, poor man, master or slave
from deep into the future or way back in the day
opinions are futile and will fade with your name
so don't be too proud of the inventions of your mind
For when you leave they will soon follow behind
though the world will be there for us humans to criticize
Eventually every word will be buried inside

Happiness is a state of mind
In my weakness I've always seen it as a finite resources
Light in the distance
Before the light switches  off again
Its possible that it sub-lets only a small apartment in my entire body that is pleagued with damp sadness
In my happiness
I sit and wait passively for the season to pass
These flowers grow in vein
And will mature and wilt again
These crisp leaves will wrinkle and flutter to the ground
Before the next season comes around
When I'm standing under the spotlight of my happiness
Looking out into the darkness that surrounds
The silent black sheets seems infinite and everlasting
And I know the future will teach me what exists there
As happiness is all but passing

It rained twice since I've met you
And my clothes have still not dried
So I live my life drenched in rain water
And forsake all sunshine until the end of time

Once the sun rays hit my heart
And the heat burnt the flesh of my valves
I could never stand the nighttime again
And I would lie awake and wait for the break of dawn

I've traveled through the night
Against the currents of life
So my troublesome soul
Can find a place to be called home
When I do, its coloured gold
So pure that I can barely hold it
Inside my finger folds

That Night...
When my mind and my heart agreed to love you
You gained ownership over my body
And it would forever long for you
Way after my mind and heart have forgotten why I chose you that night

Everything I ever felt was real human emotion
I want some of that plastic stuff I see in movies

Shout it from the mountains tops my friend
The fact that you have a voice
Let them know that you stand at the head not the foot
There where so little people find their feet
There where the air allows your words to echo
And let's them travel on their backs until as far as eye can see
And words can exist

Another love song sang into the wind
Another rainbow with no beginning
Another sad poem about these things
Another me strolling into town
No more lost than found
Or falling asleep in the lounge
As cotton filled as just another couch
I never expected anything more
From both life or the cornerstore
I never thought of both any differnt
Than plain old common repletion and persistence
Life is but life
Like traffic after four at night
Just another thing to get through

How is it that you found me?
I was so well hidden under the sheets
My heart’s beat was so far and faint
That it barely echoed through time and space
Yet through the winds that blew off my skin and behind the curtains that hung over me
You found me

Hand to hand
And chest to chest
You found me

Without a map
Or GPS
You found me

Call it fait
Or call it blessed
Through the rain
And all the rest
You found me…

For love so sweet  that it crawls beneath and leaves everything powerless in defeat. Pull down the mountains and and oceans deep.
That is the love he gave to me...

My poetry is ice cold
And offer me no sympathy
Lines have no comfort between them
On top or underneath them
If words could conceal my hearts disease
Then paper would be rough and bumpy and creased
Forgive me those who put their souls on sheets
Forget what I've written like flaky Autumn leaves
That become nothing after they brown and fall from trees
Gather up my words and spread them in the wind
But, I fear that my sonnets mean nothing to the ears in which they're caught
Like paper doves, they sink in water
Mine, though they rhyme, holds no less passion than torture
For those who feel different, don't let this thought bore you
For feelings that linger will soon pass
Trains that stop, will again move fast
And like these things that never lasts
That is poetry to me, so this is my last

Candles that burn
In the frame of a moonlit window
Runs dry and bitter
And burns out too soon
And the man that needs to see
Turns butterscotch and candy
And like a little kitten
Crawls under the blankets
For in dark rooms
Far from any mother's womb
Lives a dark race
In mind or in place
That scares muscular men from sight and space
Better then,
Candy man,
Who turns into cream and flakes
To close your eyes and sleep the dark away

Scars and scabs
Come leaking out in drips and drabs
After events that occurred  
And events that shouldn't have
Sand on soles go walking into shoes
And embed themselves there within
Shards of glass buried deep under the skin
Wiggle their way to the surface again
And when life warms to the call of the sun
We pack it all back, for morning has come
Old things get beat down until purple and plum
For newer less blue things to be squeezed under thumb
I worry about my mind and its multitude of storage rooms
Filled with undealt with boxes and musky fumes
Now stuffed to capacity
Those come leaking out too
They tare through the surfaces that have long since been plastered  
And sawed down and painted and polished afterwards
Now my body, heavy and ***** with these returning things
Sheds them part by part in painful rebirth
And after I've been made naked of these morsels in my mind
I'll pack new boxes in my empty  storage rooms from time to time
For a peaceful heart is a dozen a dime
But none is as interesting and messy as mine

I've got eyes
That makes me human
But I can't see very well through them
So I'm blind
The blurry kind
These eyes of mine
Are awfully ruined
Like an owl
My sight is fowl
In the morning when the sun rays burn right through them
The darkest shades
Would no less save
These white jelly ***** attached to my eye stems
But worst of all
Without discrediting any other travesty
Is that  these big eyes
Be they regular sized
Can't seem to see that you are bad for me
Though family-like folks
With impeccable eye yolks
Could see for days
Your shiny scales
Me as thick
And blind as a brick
Couldn't see a flick of your evil ways
To me you're kind
From the outer to inner sides
And with these eyes
I can no less find
A wrinkle in your peachy colored float and flutter cocoa butter mind
Although your cheats
And cheating like things
Are clear and clean
And as close as my cheeks
I conclude
Be it bitter and shrewd
That none is as blind as she who will not see...

Big City Lights
Could blind my eyes
(And carried me willingly into the stomach of the Metropolis
Welcomed me with the brightest of smiles
Unpinned me from the paper that gave me my name
ONE WITHOUT AN IDENTITY IS THE PROPERTY OF THE CITY
IF ONE DOES NOT HAVE A NAME, ONE WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU
Slave town, grave town, town of the takers
Town of the humans whose humanity has been graded
Gray city smoke has invaded my throat
And blacked out my words and thoughts and hopes
ONE WITHOUT DREAMS IS THE PROPERTY OF THE CITY
IF ONE DOES NOT HAVE A DESTINY, ONE WILL BE ISSUED TO YOU)
Big City Buildings
With the highest of windows
From which  the confetti flutters down
Upon you arrival

Maybe I'll give a crap more
Maybe I'll take crap less
Maybe invite my enemies over and burn them like they're in-scents
They'd be looking at  beverages thinking 'I probably shouldn't drink this'
No ****, its melted flint if you asking out of interest

But since the law and moral cause don't really favor ******  
I'll post a an ad in the paper asking if anyone wants to get sawed up
Find a willing part-taker and grind them into saw dust

But on a note of real talk I really don't have murderous intent
My thoughts might seem cruel and rigid, but they're savage at best  
Honestly all I want to the get some Gang Nam respect
Maybe then I can turn my enemies into friends
If that's t0o much to ask
Honestly I couldn't as for less

My emotions are troubling
They have me kicking my bucket list
They have me posting an arrest because there were signs of struggling
I swear one more morning of this icy grey weather
Will have me peeling off my eyelids and wearing them as leather
But just before my tragic fall I'll plot out an agenda
Set up a plastic table with my cell phone in the center
And start drafting out a list of all the things that I'd do better

I'd stumble to the garden and put up a black tent
Call it an apartment and start charging people rent
Between reality and insanity, I'm sitting comfortably on the fence
Though my garden tent would only get garden rats as tenants

I'd open up a business bank account and only save up twenty five cents
Blow it all on my garden rats and starting pretending that we're friends
Pretend the rodents were Pokémon and are the newest trend
But man I'd be lying if I say that I'd pretend

Second on the list I'd give up clothing in general
Stop doing the laundry and hang myself in the pegholds
Start lazing around Saturdays in the jammies I was born in
I'd be a lonely conversationalist
But I bet the neighbors would be talking

Thirdly on this sturdy list of packaged up fantasies
I'd take this heart to the bakery and have a cake made of half of it
Sell myself at a bake sale with biscuits and poppy seeds
Decorate my face with chocolate and cherries and margarine
To top myself off I'll throw in coffee at half price
But only because the rats are starving and ate from the cake thrice

Forthly, I dont think I'll write a list before the end of my life
Besides I have an ichy head and think I might die of lice
So as karma comes around I'll take her sound advice
Before I die I'll act real nice so I don't become a poltergeist

Bitter sweet remnants of my adolescence
Make blue lumpy goo in the corners of my mouth
Purple teeth surrounded by a blood red smile
Candy never lied to me
Sticky wet rich peachy blocks of sunshine and sliding board joyfulness
Perhaps the only truth that ever graced these lips were chocolate covered
And I burped them all out
Cradling an aching stomach before supper time
Too much sweetness rots your teeth and comes out in streams of painful brown spit
The truth is always more destructive coming out then going in
These plastic wrapped morsels can **** you
So, as teary eyed children, with our tails wagging lowly in between our knees
We leave the candy shop

I poured down my hands
And let them run down my sides
In a puddle of my own arms
I became a sail boat

Subtle gestures
Sent waves through the air
And brought forth a new education of what silence could do
You stood still
And let your shadow dance around you

I liked us better
When we didn't speak
When our hate was silent
And I could hate in peace
Now words sprout from your lips
Like mold and dicease
Call it my fault for asking
How have you been?