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1.7k · Aug 2017
Your remedy
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
You say you have found
Your remedy
You say it gives you ecstasy.
It's the only therapy
that keeps you Sane.

But my dear,
All I see is a life in vain.

You withdrew yourself from society
You said it brought you enmity.
You preferred to be cuddle
by your remedy.

It keeps you warm,
It numbs the pain.
It quenches your desires.
It lits up a fire.
You feel safe.

But my dear,
you have lost your way
Your mind is clouded dark grey.
You're blinded by foggy days.
I hope you come back
to your sense.
Open your eyes and look through
your lens.

Don't let your remedy
**Be your death penalty.
Dedicated to those struggling with addiction​.
1.6k · Aug 2017
Plus size
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
Yes I'm a plus size
Because of this I was bias
I judged myself from the outside.
But when I look at the inside
my heart is a plus size too!
I have room to groom
To love to care
To open up to the broken hearted,
I have stories to share
And this is my story
To be use for God's glory.
You are all beautiful and created for a purpose.
1.6k · Mar 2018
Colours
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
The crowd discerns you
a mundane nature
owing to the dark shades
you drape around your skin.
Darling, note this,
"Your daily deeds
And the words you speak
display the colours
From within."
I like wearing black and grey a lot... But I am a happy person :) never judge a girl by her clothes... ;)
1.3k · Apr 2018
Season of singleness
Deep Ponderer Apr 2018
In your season of singleness
May God plant within you
Seeds of the Holy Spirit
And water you with the Living Word.
May you bloom,
Not only to meet "the one"
But to be the one
Whose sight is replaced
With God's perspective,
So that the pleasures of the flesh
And unfulfilled desires will **** out,
Filling your pith
With a deep rooted love.
To all the single peeps out there. Stay blessed :)
1.3k · Sep 2017
Flaws
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Weaknesses and imperfections
Are part of your reflection.
They are vivid to your eyes
As you gaze into the mirror
That mostly tells you lies,
You keep telling yourself
"Someday someone will love me for my flaws"

Is that really what you're looking for?

You are already loved in spite of your errors,
Right from your mother's womb,
You were bestowed with a purpose,
You have the potential to turn
Imperfections into excellence.


It takes the humble and the meek
The scarred and the bruised
Not the perfect to lead.
Don't wait for someone to accept your flaws
But let your flaws push you
To where you want to go
Far beyond the edge of your comfort zone.
We are all flawed but we are all capable of reaching the silver lining beyond the dark cloud
1Cor 1:27
....And God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.
1.1k · Aug 2018
Key
Deep Ponderer Aug 2018
Key
She tried to give
the door a knock,
She took a chance
to see if it would unlock.
Turns out,
she didn't​ have the key
to set him free.
Sometimes you have to set yourself free.
1.1k · Nov 2017
Child within
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
I asked someone
In a serene manner,
"Why so serious?"
I received a full throated reply,
"Should I act like a child then,
The way you do!?"

I gave a poise reply
With a gentle smile,
*"I certainly do not act like a child,
But the child within
Teaches me to live,
Not to simply survive."
Embrace your inner child:)
Stay blessed.
1.1k · Aug 2017
My Purple treasure chest
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
When I talk about my treasure chest
People think I keep silver and gold,
Diamonds and rubies
and all things groovy.
Instead you find broken pencils,
Glittery utensils,
an eraser shaped like an egg.
a tiny doll with wollen legs.
Letters from my mom n Friends.
Drawings from my little sister.
Even a love note from my so called "mister".
Things from the past, things from the present,
things to be remembered.
My memories great and old,
Some funny, some cold.
All hidden in this purple box.
The things I considered gold.
Small things given with love matter more than diamond and gold.
1.0k · Sep 2018
Season of change
Deep Ponderer Sep 2018
They say you should surround yourself
with positive people.
But everyone changes
A season to bloom,
A season of storm,
A season of harvest
A season to wither.
So are we suppose to leave
if they are not in their season of positivity?
Well I say patience is the reason
to love in all seasons.
So will you leave or stay when a friend goes through the season of change
966 · Feb 2018
I'm happy
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
I'm happy
I don't have what I want
I have what I need.

I'm happy
I don't have a lover
I have people who truly love me.

I'm happy
Not because life is easy
But I have peace,
The kind that is not of the world.
There is peace if you have Jesus in your heart :)
944 · Jul 2017
Fooling around
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
I was young, so naive
I saw beauty in your eyes
Didn't know they will leave me dry.
You would say let's fool around.
In my innocence I thought you meant laughter and acting crazy
Calling each other silly names.
Maybe I was just too innocent.

I let you in too deep.
I kissed you with fiery passion,
Embraced your every action.
When you laid down your head on my bossom
My heart skipped a beat.
The butterflies in the pit of my tummy,
So strong I had to resist your lips,
Especially when you said you loved me, you needed me,
I believed.

The table turned,
I was just another,
A game meant to be played
To experience what it felt like,
Fooling around with me was a pleasure.
That's when I realised what you actually meant.
You said "you couldn't see me in your forever."
I wasn't your world
I was just an experiment,
to prepare yourself for what's to come.
I was left undone.
I thought he was my forever, till death do us part, who knew he would one day say "I just don't love you". Writing with tears running down my cheeks.
834 · Nov 2017
Depend on HIM
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
Sometimes we deserve hurt.
We depend
On someone who is bound
To change,
Rather than depending on
The One
Who is forever the same.
Depend on God, the only one who never changes.
818 · Aug 2017
Commitment
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
No you are not weak,
You chose to commit
Then you say it was out of your league.
No don't say you aren't ready.
You went with the flow when it was steady.
It was only because you lost the will,
For with commitment comes sacrifice.
To you that was too big a prize
to pay.
And indolence decided to stay,
And you preferred it that way.
But don't you ever say you are weak.
For commitment involves more than strength.
**It needs your will.
Then only it can be fulfilled.
If you are committed to anything, be it faith, relationship, work, art, music. Don't give in to laziness, and don't blame weakness. All you need is the will power to push you towards the goal.
811 · Aug 2022
Love vs acceptance
Deep Ponderer Aug 2022
Everyone wants to be accepted
But no one wants to be loved.
Accepting every attribute about a person
and not discerning right from wrong,
Cannot be loving.
"Oh I'm accepted, I must be loved"
But that kind of acceptance is out of fear of not being accepted in return.
To allow a person to self destruct either acutely or chronically
cannot be considered an act of love.
Love can be a constructive criticism
or a soft spoken word.
But if someone really loves,
they will not hinder the truth even if it hurts.
everyone wants to be accepted,
no one wants to be loved,
Because the world has redefined the true meaning of love.
769 · May 2018
Soul. 10w
Deep Ponderer May 2018
While trying to save a soul
I lost my own.
10w soul
766 · Jul 2017
#old_school
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
You called me old school
Just because I believe in purity

You called me old school
Just because I wasn't influence by social media to overcome my inferiority

You called me old school
Just because I don't swear or cuss

You called me old school
Just because in the midst of a chaos I remain Hush

You called me old school
Just because I believe in a deep sacrificial love.
Well I'm not old school. I just believe in principles and moralities, for without which, the world will crumble.
762 · Aug 2017
An empty vessel
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
I argued a lot, I was always annoyed.
So you thought I was paranoid.
But I wasn't wrong
Neither was I strong
When you stopped.......!
You stopped beating for me.

You too weren't wrong,
When you said I had a void.
I was an empty vessel,
Without water, without love,
Just futile noise swirling around
Making horrid sounds.

Now I thanked you.
You finally left my body and my mind.
I am made new with a love so divine,
No longer empty, no longer thirsty,
*I am overflowing, forever filling.
John 4:13,14
Jesus answered and said to her,
"Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I give him shall never thirst,
But the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.
675 · Jun 2018
Believers
Deep Ponderer Jun 2018
The people that make You believe
The sky is in your reach
Are the people you ought to keep.
people in your life that give you hope and believe in you are the people you must treasure because they themselves are the believers
674 · Jul 2017
Still broken
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
Somedays I have a cloud over my head,
Somedays the sun rays make a clear path.
But somehow I still have a broken heart.
Few words
630 · Jul 2017
The forgotten memory
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
You vanished in a blink of an eye
I was obliged to say goodbye.
I am an Heir to the throne
In this heart I called home.
Therefore no more compromise
Only sacrifice.
I do hope you chase your dream
As lovely as it seems.
I bid you farewell
as you journey through Tomorrowland.
I might be one of your fan,
No not a constant one,
Just one who waves from afar
and says
*"Do you remember me
I'm a piece of your forgotten memory"
Just remembering his dreams of being apart of the festival called Tomorrowland and hoping he still remembers me
630 · Apr 2018
To those I've hurt
Deep Ponderer Apr 2018
My thorns had *****
And blood had spill
For my words ****
And run down chills.
I couldn't tame my tongue
For then, I was undone.

I lost my grip,
I let you slipped
The solitude consumed me
I fell on my knees,
I begged please
Silence my voice,
Chain my tongue.

At present, I'm redeemed
My words have healed.
To those I've hurt
I hope in the future
Your forgiveness I shall breathe
As for now I urge you
Accept my apologies.
607 · Jul 2019
Unrequited
Deep Ponderer Jul 2019
Is this the kind of love I deserve?
One weighs more than the other,
All I asked is "have I done you wrong?"
Your only reply, "I've learnt".
I'm worn out now
From all the unanswered queries.
I need to loosen this cord,
before the forbidden rage
Breaks free from its cage.
Have you experienced one sided love?
602 · Aug 2017
Found in you
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
I shut myself down
I no longer want to frown.
So I leave my life under your control.
I have a renewed Spirit in my soul.
My journey has just begun
I'm sailing towards the sun.
I'll fight the fears
I'm not alone...
Lord you wiped my tears.
My fate has set a course,
Your Love is my resource.
This time I will survive.
I'm no longer fragile
My strength is *found in You
Psalm 119:28
My soul melteth for heaviness, strengthen me according unto thy word.
596 · Jul 2017
Birthday sorrow
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
It was my birthday
But I cried
I was suppose to be all happy and cheers
But I cried
Found myself drowning in tears.
I was hoping you would still be the first.
For the past two years,
You were the first to wished me without fail.
But this year I was left in tears.
Still hurts sometimes
590 · Mar 2018
Romance fatality
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
I am romantically fatal.
I give it all till I bleed to dead,
I'm left with nothing
But regrets.
How romantic are you?
588 · Apr 2019
Inner vision
Deep Ponderer Apr 2019
Not being attractive outwardly opened my eyes
into seeing more than beautiful sights.
It delivered me from preconceptions
of perceiving the world through vanity lenses.
It tore down walls of misconceptions
that appearances are the only reflections.
Appearances aren't everything. Everyone has been created for more :)
583 · Mar 2018
You are Art.
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
You are Art,
Moulded with grace
From mud and clay,
Nourished with an
unfathomable mind,
A creation so divine.
Indeed, created to create.
Now, O Lord, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter, and all of us are the works of Your hands. Isaiah 64:8
554 · Jul 2017
The invitation
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
The door kept knocking
I was afraid to open.
At the same time curiosity struck my mind
I peeped through the keyhole
And pretended to be bold,
But all I saw was silhouette.
A chill ran down my bones
As I saw an invitation slid through under the door.
I was bewildered as to who would send an invitation late this hour
addressed to my name.

I opened the envelope
And the invitation read
"I cordially invite you to the carnival of lust"
I took the invitation to my room
And left it on a table at the side of my bed.
I went back to sleep as I thought, the invitation wasn't for me.

I woke up the next morning
Thinking it was all just a dream.
But there I saw the invitation lying next to me.
I chose to ignore it as it wasn't something I would acknowledge.
But instead of discarding it, I let it be.

Once again a voice whispered,
Aren't you a little curious to know what it might unfold?
Just one visit won't hurt,
Just to be sure that it isn't what your looking for?

I was miss goody two shoes.
Never made reckless decision.
But then I thought why not?
"Maybe I should cut myself loose
I will go, just for a sneak peek".
I was sure it would bring no harm
I always kept myself alarm.

So I got all dressed,
And found my feet marching towards the carnival of lust.
I said to myself "I will leave before the rest".
Instead, till today Im filled with remorse.
For what I saw as the curtain unfold
Was not meant for my soul.
It was like a rollercoaster ride,
Not for merrymaking,
The carnival twisted my mind
I was not able to leave.
Now I pray for release,
For a carnal life I lead.
Here I used invitation as a metaphor for temptation. It's like an invitation in our life that keeps knocking for a door to open. Temptations will always come, but it's our choice whether to let them in or not. Sometimes they leave us in curiosity. But once we let them in, it's difficult to get out. So let us be alert. I hope you enjoy this simple piece about temptation.
543 · Jun 2018
Deep
Deep Ponderer Jun 2018
You are not cursed
For better or worse.
To be able to feel every
Emotional outbursts
Is rather a gift not a flaw.
Feeling every pain,
agony and sorrow
Points you and
In turn, you lead others
In the direction of
The only way, truth and life
That sheds light
in every dark corner,
Delivering all from
The thought of no tomorrow.
Earlier I use to think that being deep in emotional aspect was a curse and sometimes I couldn't handle it, but now I think of it as a gift from God that leads me closer to Him and helps me understanding each individual better.
535 · Aug 2017
Words
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
Words  are not just words
Words can build an empire,
Words can take you higher.
Words can instill a fatal plot.
Words can leave a soul to rot.
So be on your guard with words.

Words are meant to inspire.
Words are meant to set you free
To encourage you to take another leap,
To create with pleasant imagery.
Or turn memories into untold tale
To try again even if you had fail.

If your words will hurl retaliation
Don't, stop, think, stay silent.
They can be someone's reason
for self annihilation.
Let your words make you bold
Let your words save a soul,
Or let them put a smile
on someone's face.
*May your words be filled with grace.
May your words save a soul.
512 · Mar 2018
Scars
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
Scars are evidence
to your "brave".
Wear them proudly
Everyday.
10 words: scars
Yes your are brave and your scars are beautiful. :)
509 · Jul 2017
Marriage is not overrated
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
Marriage is beautiful
No matter what the age.
The younger the better,
It doesn't disrupt
with your dreams
If you find someone
you can have a future with,
Then propose!
There is nothing wrong
with marrying at  20s.
I've heard people say
"I'm too young,
I want to follow my dreams"
They leave the ones they love for ambition.
So you can't be ambitious at your 60s?
Im not saying you need to rush
It might just create a fuss.
All I'm saying is,
you can be a spouse,
At the same time
you can be who you want to be.
Some say they feel trap like a mouse.
they lose their freedom after being married.
Freedom sounds lonely,
Unless you're married
to a phoney!
Well don't you want to be
with the one and only?
Dedicated to all the young married couples.. so proud of y'all
493 · Mar 2018
Backbone
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
Each of us has a backbone,
That sustains us
and straightens our path.
My backbone is my Faith,
The path I follow is narrow
With certain scoliotic bends
But with all my heart I follow,
And eternity is where my road ends.
And who/what is your backbone?
476 · Nov 2017
Hate explodes rage
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
Don't let hate consume your peace,
Lest it occupies every space
Your heart can no longer contain,
Protruding like a pigeon's rib cage.
Till one day it lits a grenade,
And explodes an uncontrollable rage.
458 · Jul 2017
When will you realise?
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
When will you realise?
That you're blessed you haven't ended your life,
Even though you wanted to.
When will you realise?
That you have met many,
Whose hopes have been deprived
Yet refuse to give up.
When will you realise?
You have good friends and family that help you through the night,
When all you want to do is cry.
When will you realise?
That you are loved beyond the moon,
And every morning, you wake up,
You hear the sparrows chirping a new tune,
That lets you know
your dreams will come to past*,
In time and soon.
Dedicated to a friend who is going through hard times.
455 · Aug 2017
Your wound, a boon
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
Boo hoo, you have a wound,
But I called it a boon.
For you had gone too far
If it wasn't for that scar,
You would have still been stuck
Rewinding the bad past,
Thinking the pain gave meaning,
All it did was cut you out like
dead grasses.
You lost your colour,
you turned into rotten molasses​.

But now it's just a scar.
It made you realised you'd gone too far.
Your cheeks regain their rosy hue.
Once again I see you bloom
From a bud to a beautiful flower.
Thanks to the the rain that showered,
Washed all the pain of those wasted hours.
Now you find yourself in a new chapter.
So wasn't your wound a boon?
Starting a new chapter
442 · May 2018
Spotlight
Deep Ponderer May 2018
He murdered her soul
Yet he is applauded by all,
Because he was born in the spotlight
And she belongs in the shadow.
436 · Aug 2017
Will people leave?
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
Well people leave....!!!

I was in grief....
I couldn't achieve
All the expectations,
Too much to handle
I couldn't tackle.

I wanted to leave!!!

I wanted them to accept my flaw,
Even if my words cut them like a saw.
I didn't want to be corrected.
I just wanted my pain to be deflected.
I was a ******* pessimist,
I looked at things through a dark mist.
I didn't want to change.
Yes people left!!
But they were not to blame.

As I grew I realised,
CHANGE isn't a crime.
It's not about pleasing others.
It's about bringing out the brighter colours.
If I was kind, selfless, gentle and wise
Would people leave??
NO
There would have been no goodbyes.

You've heard of the phrase
"Don't change stay the same"
Honestly, that is just insane.
As we go through the phases of life
*
We will encounter CHANGE.
I miss some of my friends. I wish I could turn back time. I'm really sorry for how I was. Now I'm open to CHANGE, thanks to my Saviour.
434 · Apr 2018
Woman a Human
Deep Ponderer Apr 2018
Men are created to lead
Yes I do believe,
But you have no right
To force a woman to bleed
She is not a machine
Meant for your pleasure,
She has a heart
You ought to treasure.
Her duty is not only
to bear children
But she loves, nurture them
And shares their burdens.

God bestowed her with a mind
Dear society don't be blind!
She has the free will
To do what is right

Treat her 'A HUMAN'
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
Obliviate me of my past memory
The only Ghost that haunts me.
It comes around the end of fall
With an iron scythe
and frozen shackles
Run chills down my bones.
A dark shadow stands tall,
blinds the path I hope to follow
Leaves me empty and shallow
With no hope for tomorrow.
Happy Halloween.
418 · Apr 2018
The Evolved Earth.
Deep Ponderer Apr 2018
The earth has evolved they say,
MORAL VALUES
belong in historic caves
Along with all that
Expired and decayed.

Little children ending up
with older human!
It's a new trend
"Pedophilic love"
Everyone gets hurt.

Multiple ****** partners
Of any gender,
diseases come after,
Ohh but why bother!
We all fall ill
and die any day.

A child on the way,
Take a pill and
abort the unwanted,
So you may look pretty
With a thin body.

****** don't care
What you wear,
They are just men with
Ravenous appetite
To rip and tear.

Carry firearms
Everywhere,
Shoot em' all
Who are you to judge
Whether they are innocent
Or not.

So the earth has evolved you say
All I see is a world rotting away.
It saddens me to see how the world is dieing gradually daily.
415 · Jul 2017
Epiphany
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
What does this life yearns for?
What is your purpose?
Do you require weapons?
Are you preparing for a battle?
Where is the battlefield?
Is the mind the ground you are battling on?
The weapons are made ready, the battle is set,
The enemies, your emotions are drawing closer.

A drop of silence suddenly fell to the ground,
Then a voice like a thunder roars out loud,
Asking questions that linger through,
What are you fighting for?
What are you seeking?
What is the reward for the victor?

It's the battle against the will and emotions.
The fight not to make unworthy decisions.
It's a defining moment
Whether to cross a bridge or build a new one.
To win is of no concern
But to gain control is the challenge.
The TRUTH is what we seek,
Unknowingly we all search for an
**Epiphany
At one point we all question what is the purpose of our lives. Eventually we reach a point where we find epiphany.
Did any of you experience this?
408 · Feb 2018
Lost in the search
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
I sought true love
From a man,
Who didn't even know
Who love is!
For that reason
He is not at fault
For not giving me the
Love I once knew.
God is love, without knowing God how will we ever know what true love is.
406 · Nov 2018
Heart of steel
Deep Ponderer Nov 2018
Why is it so hard for you to break free?
Am I a friend or an enemy?
Your walls are not bricks but steel.
I can't stop but think I am at fault!
Would you lie to please?
I prefer you breaking me with honesty,
Waiting for you to express
sometimes leaves me lifeless.
406 · Feb 2018
Power of the unseen
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
Don't be blinded by your sight.
There is Power in the Unseen.
It can get you down on your knees,
Or lift you up on your feet.
Do you believe?
394 · Jan 2018
I am weak
Deep Ponderer Jan 2018
I'm not ashame
To say "I am weak".
If I considered myself strong
That's only to make people think
I fought my battles
single handedly.
That would absolutely be a lie.
Because honestly "I am weak",
And I fall and cry.

I find comfort and peace
in knowing that
There is someone
fighting my battles beside me.
My weakness is not my enemy,
But it makes me realise
That I am in need
of a Saviour,
And His strength
is made perfect in my
Weakness
.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2cor 11:9,10
394 · Nov 2017
Touchè
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
The coward uses flattery
To gain attention,
The brave embraces the truth
In every situation.
379 · Feb 2018
Silence #haiku
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
I cried out to you,
To make sure I'm not alone.
Silence, you listened.
God is silence...
Yes He listens.
367 · Aug 2017
Miss Tiny
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
You there miss Tiny
have you heard your voice
Like a thunder so mighty.?

When you sing
You put a swing to our feet
A new melody to jive.
You're a reincarnated nightingale
With fresh songs to inhale.
The worn out souls come to live
With a new rhythm to their heart beat.
And a purpose to breathe.
You make pleasing sounds
Even to the most high King,
You praise His name
And announce His grace and fame.
Ohh miss tiny
*What a voice so mighty!!
Dedicated to my tiny friend with a wonderful singing voice.
She's short but definitely mighty with a beautiful soul.
362 · Dec 2017
Slumbering beauty
Deep Ponderer Dec 2017
I'm desparate for that girl,
She's slumbering I know
For my heart had turn cold.
She's a girl who sees
Through crystal clear eyes,
She discerns the black from the white
Even what's in between
the intersecting line.
She serves because she's loved
She doesn't please others
to quench her thirst.
I'm trying to wake her up
I need that girl in me.
The beauty I seek
That radiates love
with ever heartbeat.
Inner beauty is the best kind of beautiful. But for most of us it's in a dormant state.
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