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Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
I argued a lot, I was always annoyed.
So you thought I was paranoid.
But I wasn't wrong
Neither was I strong
When you stopped.......!
You stopped beating for me.

You too weren't wrong,
When you said I had a void.
I was an empty vessel,
Without water, without love,
Just futile noise swirling around
Making horrid sounds.

Now I thanked you.
You finally left my body and my mind.
I am made new with a love so divine,
No longer empty, no longer thirsty,
*I am overflowing, forever filling.
John 4:13,14
Jesus answered and said to her,
"Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I give him shall never thirst,
But the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.
Deep Ponderer May 2020
Would you stay, like I stayed
Would you forgive, like I did
Would you love when I'm out of reach
Or would this be a momentary feel.
Would I be easily replaced again
But this time, would you please have the guts to tell.
It's ok to fall out of love, I get it
We are not married yet!
But it's not okay to be infidel!
Would you give a partner who cheated a second chance?
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
Each of us has a backbone,
That sustains us
and straightens our path.
My backbone is my Faith,
The path I follow is narrow
With certain scoliotic bends
But with all my heart I follow,
And eternity is where my road ends.
And who/what is your backbone?
Deep Ponderer Jun 2018
The people that make You believe
The sky is in your reach
Are the people you ought to keep.
people in your life that give you hope and believe in you are the people you must treasure because they themselves are the believers
Deep Ponderer Jan 2018
Be nice, no matter the price.
It may create a turbulence
In the haters' veins
But you will stay sane.
A sense of peace
will occupy
Your blank space.
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
I hate it when people tell me
"be spontaneous".
Yes I am timid and shy.
Yes I take time to reply.
Please don't ask me why.
But I truly believe
*Still waters run deep.
I think too much and sometimes I don't know how to make a conversation.
Sorry I'm just not the spontaneous kind.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Don't settle for less
You are worth a million
Be a woman of dignity.
Follow your dreams
Don't follow a man's charm.
Let him fall for your personality.
Be wanted don't just want.
Let your beauty be adorn
With love that you deserve.
To all the ladies :*
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
Be you, wonderfully you.
Then your identity
Becomes your beauty.
10w... What's your identity?
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
It was my birthday
But I cried
I was suppose to be all happy and cheers
But I cried
Found myself drowning in tears.
I was hoping you would still be the first.
For the past two years,
You were the first to wished me without fail.
But this year I was left in tears.
Still hurts sometimes
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
You asked me to be bold
From the shadows I emerged.
My boldness exploded love!
It could not be contained,
too much for you to handle.
I crawled back into the shadows,
Awaiting a fair moment to explode.
I was bold for the wrong reason. Now my boldness is withheld for the right reasons. And I trust the Lord will direct my ways.
Deep Ponderer Apr 2018
Being broad-minded
I believe in God.
And I do not narrow down
My beliefs
in the things
that are seen.
And how do you define being broad minded?
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
I asked someone
In a serene manner,
"Why so serious?"
I received a full throated reply,
"Should I act like a child then,
The way you do!?"

I gave a poise reply
With a gentle smile,
*"I certainly do not act like a child,
But the child within
Teaches me to live,
Not to simply survive."
Embrace your inner child:)
Stay blessed.
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
"Chivalry is dead"*
Well said!
A stranger on the pavement
Shoved his hand between my legs.
It was a public place, was walking with a friend and it happened so fast I didn't even see his face.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Take a closer look
There is more than meets the eye
fire burns inside
A flaming love inside
Deep Ponderer Mar 2018
The crowd discerns you
a mundane nature
owing to the dark shades
you drape around your skin.
Darling, note this,
"Your daily deeds
And the words you speak
display the colours
From within."
I like wearing black and grey a lot... But I am a happy person :) never judge a girl by her clothes... ;)
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
No you are not weak,
You chose to commit
Then you say it was out of your league.
No don't say you aren't ready.
You went with the flow when it was steady.
It was only because you lost the will,
For with commitment comes sacrifice.
To you that was too big a prize
to pay.
And indolence decided to stay,
And you preferred it that way.
But don't you ever say you are weak.
For commitment involves more than strength.
**It needs your will.
Then only it can be fulfilled.
If you are committed to anything, be it faith, relationship, work, art, music. Don't give in to laziness, and don't blame weakness. All you need is the will power to push you towards the goal.
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
I ran right into the trap!!

With arms wide open
I sought refuge in words.

I found myself in a dungeon,
Dark with the stench of blood
Not even love could break the
spells of deception.
One door seemed to scream "run",
The only conception
A rational message from the mind.

For my heart whispered "stay"
it's gentle voice lured me
Another trap, yet like a fool
I submitted.

I floundered in the dirt
With no solution
Even when  I prayed.


I should have walk away
When  chance
was calling my name
Have you ever been decieved? Well I was. it was like a trap, I tried to find a solution, I tried love, to turn it into something good, but in the end, the only way was to run and not look back.
Deep Ponderer Oct 2019
Our good deeds won't take us to heaven
But surely they will lead others to Christ.
Deep Ponderer Jun 2018
You are not cursed
For better or worse.
To be able to feel every
Emotional outbursts
Is rather a gift not a flaw.
Feeling every pain,
agony and sorrow
Points you and
In turn, you lead others
In the direction of
The only way, truth and life
That sheds light
in every dark corner,
Delivering all from
The thought of no tomorrow.
Earlier I use to think that being deep in emotional aspect was a curse and sometimes I couldn't handle it, but now I think of it as a gift from God that leads me closer to Him and helps me understanding each individual better.
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
Sometimes we deserve hurt.
We depend
On someone who is bound
To change,
Rather than depending on
The One
Who is forever the same.
Depend on God, the only one who never changes.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Ohh why a strange pout?
I deroute for a detour
To find hope not love
My first haiku.
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
Oh but why
I want to cry
For you said

"I am the love of your life
I embossed myself to your skin
With a dash of rosy hue.
I create a scar and leave a mark
So you won't stray afar
I know you want me to slide away
From your greasy dermis
Yet the grease acts like a glue
And I stick with you
Through the thick and the thin
I will stay
Even when the seasons change"

                 *With love

                                         *The acne on your face
Hehe just can't seem to get rid of them so wrote a poem instead.
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
What does this life yearns for?
What is your purpose?
Do you require weapons?
Are you preparing for a battle?
Where is the battlefield?
Is the mind the ground you are battling on?
The weapons are made ready, the battle is set,
The enemies, your emotions are drawing closer.

A drop of silence suddenly fell to the ground,
Then a voice like a thunder roars out loud,
Asking questions that linger through,
What are you fighting for?
What are you seeking?
What is the reward for the victor?

It's the battle against the will and emotions.
The fight not to make unworthy decisions.
It's a defining moment
Whether to cross a bridge or build a new one.
To win is of no concern
But to gain control is the challenge.
The TRUTH is what we seek,
Unknowingly we all search for an
**Epiphany
At one point we all question what is the purpose of our lives. Eventually we reach a point where we find epiphany.
Did any of you experience this?
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
Right your wrongs
Don't use them as excuses
For others to pity you.
Most of the time we find ourselves searching for someone to say "I understood why you did what you did" but we refuse to rectify the situation
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
In my merry days
I desire company
For if they appear
only in my dark days
I know they pity me
They feel I'm in need
For alone I fail to breathe
But how false that is,
For then I know
They are the ones
that come and go
Not the ones that stay.
I need them
in all my days.
I want to thank those people who are with me in my dark as well as happy days. But for those who were there only in my dark days. I'm sorry to say, but I dislike pity.
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
We are like marionettes.
Our fears: our marionettists.
Control bars direct our actions,
the strings limit our abilities.
We preform for an applause,
But not for a visionary cause.
Don't let fear undermine your ability
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
Let love burn all that make you falter

And lit a fiery passion

That will leave the mark of a victor.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Weaknesses and imperfections
Are part of your reflection.
They are vivid to your eyes
As you gaze into the mirror
That mostly tells you lies,
You keep telling yourself
"Someday someone will love me for my flaws"

Is that really what you're looking for?

You are already loved in spite of your errors,
Right from your mother's womb,
You were bestowed with a purpose,
You have the potential to turn
Imperfections into excellence.


It takes the humble and the meek
The scarred and the bruised
Not the perfect to lead.
Don't wait for someone to accept your flaws
But let your flaws push you
To where you want to go
Far beyond the edge of your comfort zone.
We are all flawed but we are all capable of reaching the silver lining beyond the dark cloud
1Cor 1:27
....And God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.
Deep Ponderer Oct 26
We live in a world where meanings have flipped.
The celebrities and the elites are being oppressed.
Antifa conducted a peaceful protest!
Privileged is better than hard work.
Biology is no longer scientific.
Genuine Health advice is body shaming.
Yes Free speech, but gets criminalized
to make you realise
they cannot agree to disagree.
Revoked for teaching reality.
The world is progressing
but where is it heading?
Your thoughts on this piece?
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
I was young, so naive
I saw beauty in your eyes
Didn't know they will leave me dry.
You would say let's fool around.
In my innocence I thought you meant laughter and acting crazy
Calling each other silly names.
Maybe I was just too innocent.

I let you in too deep.
I kissed you with fiery passion,
Embraced your every action.
When you laid down your head on my bossom
My heart skipped a beat.
The butterflies in the pit of my tummy,
So strong I had to resist your lips,
Especially when you said you loved me, you needed me,
I believed.

The table turned,
I was just another,
A game meant to be played
To experience what it felt like,
Fooling around with me was a pleasure.
That's when I realised what you actually meant.
You said "you couldn't see me in your forever."
I wasn't your world
I was just an experiment,
to prepare yourself for what's to come.
I was left undone.
I thought he was my forever, till death do us part, who knew he would one day say "I just don't love you". Writing with tears running down my cheeks.
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
I burst forth into a monster
Roaming to devour
The very soul that left me sore.
Desiring to destroy your hope
To chain you with disparaging words,
The very words that left me scarred.
To trap you in a pit pitch black
A darkness so tangible,
leaves you screaming for a way out.

But forgiveness came flashing to my mind
Difficult to pursue but worth the try
For I myself
Craves for a second chance of redemption
Therefore the only way was
FORGIVE AND YOU SHALL BE FORGIVEN
Deep Ponderer Aug 2017
I shut myself down
I no longer want to frown.
So I leave my life under your control.
I have a renewed Spirit in my soul.
My journey has just begun
I'm sailing towards the sun.
I'll fight the fears
I'm not alone...
Lord you wiped my tears.
My fate has set a course,
Your Love is my resource.
This time I will survive.
I'm no longer fragile
My strength is *found in You
Psalm 119:28
My soul melteth for heaviness, strengthen me according unto thy word.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
Grey  a depressing shade
Covered with dark fog
A mist thicker than a cloud
I'm a mirror
Wipe off the grey
Even just a little
Like no other
I will reflect your true colours.
We all have a bad past, but don't let it fog your vision.... Wipe it off and reflect your true colours
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
He is a gypsy soul
With his trail on the road.
Bathe in nature's bliss
He desires a tropical Island's kiss.
Passionate for adventure,
Take him high or low,
There his wild heart will go.
Gypsy soul
Deep Ponderer Nov 2017
Don't let hate consume your peace,
Lest it occupies every space
Your heart can no longer contain,
Protruding like a pigeon's rib cage.
Till one day it lits a grenade,
And explodes an uncontrollable rage.
Deep Ponderer Nov 2018
Why is it so hard for you to break free?
Am I a friend or an enemy?
Your walls are not bricks but steel.
I can't stop but think I am at fault!
Would you lie to please?
I prefer you breaking me with honesty,
Waiting for you to express
sometimes leaves me lifeless.
Deep Ponderer Mar 2019
I hope that you stay
And wait till the end.
You don't look into my eyes
The way you did when it began.
Why do I still feel the same;
A feeling that remains,
Or  is it all just in my brain
This hope  untamed.
Do you feel like someone is about to leave you, But you keep crazy hoping that the person would stay? My current state:(
Deep Ponderer Jul 2018
I'm no happy go lucky
I think too much.
I look up stuck,
searching in the constellations​
for answers about luck.
It doesn't inspire me.
Hence there is a reason
for my 'meant to be',
because you are
no longer a dream.
I'm blessed :)
Deep Ponderer Jan 2018
I'm not ashame
To say "I am weak".
If I considered myself strong
That's only to make people think
I fought my battles
single handedly.
That would absolutely be a lie.
Because honestly "I am weak",
And I fall and cry.

I find comfort and peace
in knowing that
There is someone
fighting my battles beside me.
My weakness is not my enemy,
But it makes me realise
That I am in need
of a Saviour,
And His strength
is made perfect in my
Weakness
.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2cor 11:9,10
Deep Ponderer Feb 2018
I'm happy
I don't have what I want
I have what I need.

I'm happy
I don't have a lover
I have people who truly love me.

I'm happy
Not because life is easy
But I have peace,
The kind that is not of the world.
There is peace if you have Jesus in your heart :)
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
Be kind
But stay witty,
For there are always
Prowlers in between.
Love man, trust God, for man is flawed and will leave you hurt. So stay alert.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2017
I sought the Lord
And found Him in the oddest place,
I found Him in my broken heart.
He will not abandon you.. Seek Him, and He will be found.
Deep Ponderer Apr 2019
Not being attractive outwardly opened my eyes
into seeing more than beautiful sights.
It delivered me from preconceptions
of perceiving the world through vanity lenses.
It tore down walls of misconceptions
that appearances are the only reflections.
Appearances aren't everything. Everyone has been created for more :)
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
I tried to fill this empty
With all the worldly delicacies
A momentary satiety,
Although I was well aware
This hollowness is dynamic
The intangible kind
Invisible to the naked eye.
Yet how shallow
was my perception.

Only unconditional love
So intangible
unimaginable,
Dynamic yet splendid,
Can fill this empty hollow
And grace thus follows.
Only the love Of Jesus can fill the empty void within, and He saves us through grace.
Deep Ponderer Aug 2019
I am inspired by things unseen,
Like the air that helps me breathe
For without it we are mere dust.
So why then do you asked,
"How can you believe in a god
You cannot see?"
Do you believe?
Deep Ponderer Jul 2017
It was a beautiful afternoon
I was capturing the moment.
Those perfect photographic memories,
The couples on their auspicious occasion.
The laughters, the dancers,
To celebrate their love
I captured them all.

Who knew, that same day
As midnight struck I was taken ill.
Two days later I was carried to the hospital,
Found myself in drips and pills.
My body overshadowed by weakness
my blood pressure kept on rising.

I saw myself!
I saw my body on the hospital bed
I was close to the ceiling, I was floating
I could see my mother silently praying.
Someone was beside me, I couldn't recognise.
He took me to the next room,
I saw twins, waiting to be examined.
Then suddenly the man said
"It's Time to return"
I woke up, with my eyes half opened.
I was sure it was all just a dream.

The following day, some visitors came.
To my surprised, they said
"We saw twins in the adjacent room".
That's when I realised
I saw myself
I saw a lifeless body.
Although it didn't seem logical,
*I encountered a miracle.
A short true story
Deep Ponderer Oct 2017
I take my beliefs seriously
I Ain't no religious fanatic.
But if you want to judge me
Judge me!
I don't mind
I'm no longer blind.
My faith in Christ is a relationship.
Deep Ponderer Sep 2019
Maybe it was only at the surface
Maybe that's why God asked you to leave me.
Maybe He knew me as the 'deep one'
And superficial only creates questions,
the Chaotic kind that cripples my mind.
Maybe someday I will smile again
Even if the questions remain unanswered.
Key
Deep Ponderer Aug 2018
Key
She tried to give
the door a knock,
She took a chance
to see if it would unlock.
Turns out,
she didn't​ have the key
to set him free.
Sometimes you have to set yourself free.
Deep Ponderer Dec 2017
My Knight in shining armour
is coming soon
To sweep me off my feet,
To cleanse me of all my iniquities,
He claimed and honoured me,
with the title
"Daughter of the King"
His name,
"Above all names"
*King of Kings
And Lord of Lords.
Psalms 18:1
God is bedrock under my feet, the castle in which I live, my rescuing knight.
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