The call center Bunny cannot sit Still.
He's a t-t-t-twitchy *******
with an Easter Grill.
His foot just thumps, and thumps, and thumps, and thumps until.
Beep!
Receiving a call, now it's ***** to the wall.
He's Makin' a Deal.

Welcome to the Magic Bean order center My name is thump~

"STOP RIGHT THERE RABBIT!
Tricks are for kids.
I'm 100 years old tomorrow,
I'm not placing a bid.
I'm calling about that free sample,
can you do that or not?"
"Brace for impact boys" Says Thumper.
"She's coming in hot."

Up to the plate with Rapport.
A ******* and a Miss.
"That's a great question, deary."
As he lights up a spliff.
Now the Dinosaur responded,
Well it was more like roaring.
Through the headset this woman
Led on quite a story
Most men would be huffing and puffing as she blew their house down.
But thumper sat there patiently
Turned her frown right around.

He pulled a lot more than grass
Out of his basket of Candy
"Listen here, kiddo.
You have a chance to be happy."
Get a Bunny enough paint.
He turns ******' Picasso.
"What's that beautiful?
You gonna let that rock go?"

"If you mail your wedding ring today.
We'll throw in an extra back bone."

This ******' rabbit Is tamin' raptors
on the phone like Chris Pratt.
He reads The wrap-up verbatim
Then does a victory lap.

The call center Bunny cannot sit Still.
He's a t-t-t-twitchy *******
with an Easter Grill.
His foot just thumps, and thumps, and thumps, and thumps until.
"Hey Thumper."
His little bunny smirk seems to
Spot himself a thrill.

"Seems like everybunny here is taking' Adderall."
So he pops and he smokes
He snorts and he cokes.
lines back up
with a wink, a pill, a couple less bucks.

Waves goodbye to the boss.
Swivels down in his spinny spot.
Snaps one headphone to his ear hole
Then stares attentive at the clock.

Tick tock tick
The bunny vibrates as he wait.
Usually he not so wide eyed
more drifting or asleep.
big white dress feet over
keyboard and mouse.
His tie pulled loose,
his ego is out.
The Pink bunny looks
seems to whistle and shout.
The bathroom stall is empty
where they usually hang out.
So they set AQE.
Though their meeting be brief.
It was Tactical.
Vertical
***** relief.
With her cotton tail up,
Her skirt to her knees.
Their paws on their flaws
A nibble for His carrot
Her Cadbury thong.
Got this pink bunny dialing
up against the wall.
you heard the thump, and thump, and thump, and thump and call.

For The call center Bunny
who can NOT sit Still.
He's a t-t-t-twitchy *******
with an Easter Grill.
Her foot just thumps, and thumps, and thumps, and thumps until.
Beep!
Receiving a call, now it's ***** to the wall. She's Makin' a Deal

soundcloud.com/geekelement

I spent years of my life in a fantasy world.

Well. Lots of fantasy worlds.

My clothes were cooler
Voice smoother

Choices simpler.

You finish quests, unlock gods, Slay dragons
.
When my DnD group broke up I thought:

If I'm not the gnome bard or the elven ranger or the dwarven barbarian

Who am I?

The answer:

I'm the kid,

Who was doodling demons in the corners of classrooms.

Who didn't quite make it through the pacer test in one peice.

Who spoke up a little too loud about religion and not loud enough about being bullied.

Who didn't have party's to go to because he was to busy with his party of heroes.

Who will I be now?

I can write my charecter sheet however I want too.

Natural Twenty on my charisma

Critical hit my failures

Damage reduction on Haters.

In real life, I paint my face on blank canvas

I have one simple goal.

I want to levitate slightly off of the ground

While summoning an undead army and shooting fireballs from the sky.

I might not get there.

I'll be ****** though, if I don't roll for it.

Take a look at all these stories.
Every detail marked in delicate pencil.
Inventory, backstory, spells per day.
You wrote these character sheets.

You put the devil's **** in their pockets.
Keen rapier on their hip.
Their numbers clasp fingers like chain mail.
You wear it like a valiant knight.

You look like an infant covered in pots and pans.
Clanging
Babbling
Holding colander to your head playing make believe.
It doesn't even fit you right.

This armor you made yourself doesn't even fit you right.

What are you if not a knight?
What are you if not an infant?

You've fought dragons, finished quests.
Conquered battles you didn't even want to fight.
At the end of every session you collected your experience and said "See ya next week!"
This session doesn't end.
You can't just stop rolling dice.
Have to keep playing.

Drink the +5 energy Brown Liquid.
Roll to see if your car starts.
Perception check to see if you hit that baby in a stroller.
Roll charisma to try and get a discount on that Pair of pants.
Nailed it.
You didn't check for traps in this relationship.
Take 15 heart damage.
Spend the next six months trying to recover.
You are noticed by a woman.
Roll initiative.
The girl goes first.
She tells you she loves you.
You're knocked prone.
She gets an attack of opportunity on your ability to sustain relationships.
You wonder why you wandered down this alley to begin with.
Roll for Charisma Burst.
It succeeds.
She is stunned.
You run.
Double your move speed.

Burst into the town bar.
You ask for quests.
They give you whiskey.

Your vision is slightly blurred
You wake up in strange place.
Roll a perception check.
It's an unfamiliar small apartment.
Your clothes seem to be by your side on the ground.
Roll me a knowledge check.
The apartment of some girl you hooked up with last night.
Your eyes peek up from the pillow and see a beautiful...
Man.
You did not roll very high on your knowledge check.

Roll dexterity to gracefully get up from the bed and leave quietly.
It fails.
You fall flat on your face to a loud THUMP sound.
The man wakes up and smiles down at you.
Roll initiative.
You go first.
You run out of there
Double your move speed.
Roll another Dex check to see how much of your stuff you were able to grab.
You snag your bag but you never bothered to put your clothes on
So you're running down the street in your boxers with a black backpack.

Roll perception to take inventory of your backpack.
You have a change of clothes that you packed for the next morning.

Socks +5 comfort
Boxers +5 freshness
Pants +10 decency
Shirt +2 Stain.

Your laptop and chargers are all in there.
You can't seem to find your phone.
Spend a luck point to reroll perception to find your phone.
Fails.
Spend another luck point to reroll perception to find your phone.
Fails.
Spend your last luck point to reroll perception to find your Oh, thank god.
You found your phone.
Call a cab
Get the hell out of this town.
Roll effectiveness of taking this shower.
Drink the +5 energy brown liquid.

There's no "That was a great session guys!"
"Congratulations! You slew the dragon! You all get 500 experience points!"
"See you all next week."

You just keep rolling.
And rolling.
Until one day it all stops.
You roll poorly,
Encounter something way above your level.
You can run.
Find a healer.
Get home, take a full rest.
You can't just make another character sheet.
There's nobody to look at your scraps of paper.
All the characters you rerolled to be who you are now.
Bits and pieces of all the wars, quests, dragons.
They're you.
Remember them,
Learn from them.
Keep rolling.

He liked it black
No sugar or cream
16 ounces of pure caffeine

I've never tasted something so bitter
The way it touched my lips
Made my body shake and quiver

This caffeinated high
Drives me to do such things
Like going on endless adventures
Reaching for the extreme

Building staircases in familiar places
But never reaching for the stars
Leaving only a slip of paper
Handwritten with a smile

Silly little light house
Sitting on the rocks
Laying there for hours
Singing and such

I could waste away here forever
There in your arms
But I rather have those
Black coffee kisses
So bitter, so strong

He liked it black
No sugar or cream
These black coffee kisses
Made me forever weak in the knees

He waits in the park for a date.
A bus full of los Angeles Models and photographers
talk through walkie talkies.
He walks around spying through his peripheral.
pretending he's James Bond trying to scope them out.
He wonders if he seems suspicious, or if he's going undetected.

A Beautiful girl passes briskly by, looking curiously around.
She long dark bangs, fall colored scarf, flirty skirt.
She sits on a nearby bench.
He no longer thinking of his date.

"oh my god."
"wait, no."
"what if she showed up right when you started flirting?"
"be respectful."

A vibration in his palm.
"I'm Here"
he looks around
the only woman to fit the profile is perched on the bench.
"no way."
He walks over to the girl.
"you walked right past me, beautiful."
on his face is a smolder
the gas mask used to hide all sorts of jumbled feelings in the past.
Today. it's hiding a tiny jumping boy. feeling like he just won the gorgeous girl lottery.
This is his Date.

They go to Dobra Tea,
She takes a sip.
"It tastes like peaches" she says.
"Peaches come, in a can." The boy starts.
"they were put their by a man" she adds.
they screamingly harmonize a bit too loudly for a tea shop
"In a factory downtown"
they shush each other.
giggles erupt out of them as they collapse into the tiny pillows.
they get quiet.

the girl explains she puts her "bad pictures" on tinder
so people are surprised to realize she's beautiful in person.
stricken by her brilliance.
He applauds the flawless strategy.
as it clearly worked on him.

They go on a few more dates.

First She takes him to a graveyard.
They talk about their Jiminy Cricket's
Shared demons, so familiar some
creep from behind gravestones.
push leaves from their path as they stroll along.

Then He bring her to lighthouse.
A thick cold fog.
they switch between belting 90's pop hits
and laying peacefully up at the sky holding hands.
Music.
sound of bleeding hearts rubbing against each other.
bow and violin.
how soon they flint and steel.
spark too hot, too real, too soon.

later, in bed.
His heart leaks something.
He wonders if he looks suspicious, or if he's going undetected.
when she pushes "did you just say you love me?
Tired, and teary eyed, He says:
"Peaches."
It was their safe word.

As she starts in, Clearly not satisfied,
"C'mon, I know I hear-" she interrupts herself.
"oh... you said peaches."

See, he could have said yes,
It would have been more honest.
but this was only their third morning waking up together.
even though his heart wanted to say it again.
his Jiminy Cricket doesn't care if he loves her.
it knows he can't take care of her.
Jiminy knows that when he goes home tomorrow, she's a poem.

So He says peaches.

His car engine hummed as he sit,
Headlights shining through the dark onto the stone step.
Music softly bumps the night as she descends the doorway.
Curly full brown hair.
Bright green eyes.
Pink sweatpants and a flirty bathing suit top.
He had never tamed one of these before.
Usually he finds cute neon haired creatures
With drug habits and back stories.
This girl goes to bars.
She's had two kids.
She knows what she wants,
Tonight it's him.

They Park before the covered bridge.
Sit on rock by the water.
Full moon beams down and brightens the night
She speak of how the full moon
Makes the old folks at the nursing home go Zombie horde.
Wrinkled outstretched bone sacks moaning and crying.
He speak of how their jobs complete opposite.
She helps old ladies, and he cons them into
Buying vitamins they don't need.
He notes how before they even met
She was already fixing his mistakes.

Splashes and giggles are heard across the way.
They follow the sounds of adventure barefoot.
Stumble upon two lovebirds and a rope swing.

The lovebirds call at them.
"Join us!"

Various hunks of withered rope are tied off
Macgyver'd in ways that look dangerous.
There no platform or solid ground to stand on.
The girl confused as to how exactly one could use this thing.
She tries
She goes swinging right for the tree.

The boy stands on the sandy ledge and cringes.
Taking in all his surroundings.
Rope swinging, he notes,
Is not something he'd be good at.

Splash

The lovebirds heckle and cheer as he stand there
Realizing it appears like he's going to jump.
The girl, rises from the lake clumsily
She drenched beautiful disaster.
"That was terrifying"

The boy steps back from the ledge.
"I don't think I'm physically capable of doing that."
He embarrassed.
The lovebirds laugh at him as they leave.
"I feel bad for the guy" they say.

"They were kind of bullies" The girl says about the lovebirds.
"You think so? I like them." Says the boy.

They pack the sandy clothes into the car.
Head back to stone step.
Girl invites boy inside.
They lay on mattress
Watch "Orange is the new black."
A dog sleeps between them.

They pet the dog together
Occasionally brushing fingers.
Awkward fumbling shyness
She'd never had a geek before.
He's the first one to sit here like this
Usually she's already being objectified.
He cared enough to talk.
She never realized how impatient she was.

She changes into pajamas.
He doesn't get the hint.
She gets up and lights candles.
He still doesn't get the hint.
She turns her back to him
The boy sets an alarm for 5:00am on his phone.
He has work at 7:45
He puts an arm around her.
She is comfortable.
She is waiting.
He's too respectful
The boy is happy to finally have found a girl he can wake up next too.
He's so happy that he never falls asleep

The alarm goes off and the boy says goodbye.
He finally kisses her.
He thought it was a goodbye kiss.
She had other plans.
Soft hands slip down and undo the boys belt.
Finally, the boy understands.
He moves on top of her.
"Do you have... uhh.." the girls hands make an awkward balloon gesture.
"N-not with me... I have some in the car, should I grab one? or just leave?"
The girl looks desperately at the boy.
"Go grab one."
"Right!"
He steps into the unfamiliar kitchen and starts walking down the staircase to his car.
"This is uncomfortably awkward" he says
Grabbing the Trusty Square Artifact.
Return upstairs
They kiss again.
She starts to remove clothes.
He unwrap the good decision.
Suddenly they hear screaming on the T.V.
"NO! STOP! Stop it! NO!"
He looks at the television and sees doggett's absent eyes look back at him.
The boy looks back to the beautiful woman below him.
He sits back, defeated.
"I'm sorry but it is apparently not in the cards tonight."
"I understand. Wow." she reply
He awkwardly place the opened ****** on her dresser
The boy kisses her goodbye.
The girl lay there thinking about the night.
How terribly the night ended.
How she needs to call that boy again.