Loving you will **** me,
but It's a price I will pay.
To watch and see
how it unravels, and what we say.
Maybe we'll adopt some kids and be happy,
Or i'll move on and get married some day.
Perhaps, without you my love, I'll never know joy.
All I know for certain is loving you will **** me someday.

she is a runner, no one quite knows her for she always has one foot planted, ready to run if things turn for the worse.
She runs from the unknown and the problems she has, she runs from the boy she loves because she's going to get hurt.
That's who she is, that's what she's become. Her mind is a bully but she never called quits.

Am I always going to be in her shadow?
Am I always going to be somebody's second choice?
Am I always going to feel this way?
Am I always going to make mistakes?
Am I always going to do stuff so that my parents don't trust me?

What did I do to deserve this?
To feel this way?
I don't like this feeling.
I hate feeling this way.
I hate feeling like I want to **** myself, or that I don't deserve anything, or that I am a mistake. I hate it.

You were that devastating thunderstorm
which, was the most beautiful tragedy happened to me
we are not together now, as it was never on the cards.
nothing is fine and I am worst without you
I don't want you anymore (I say)
I need you, in every step (I know)
You were that endless joy
which is now endless pain
I tried to forget all the moments spent with you
and, ended up in, remembering you all the times
those also were tears which never came out from my eyes
the pain was also that which I never told.

I remember all those dreams
which, we wove together
they were lovely.

I remember the soft touch of your lips, that naïve shamelessness  
I remember everything
I remember all that happened
I remember all the things

I remember that rain in which,
we got drenched together
there was a flame inside us
while we were soaked (In the droplets of rain)
what was that carelessness,
In those moments spend together which passed, yet not passed

I remember such evenings (we spent together)  
when you slept by my side
I kept looking at you,
I remember everything
I remember all that happened
I remember all the things
I am that broken glass which never binds

I want to light 

My couch on fire

Because whenever I turn the corner

All I see is you 

Running your fingers

Through my hair

While I’m looking up 

Smiling

Then I blink

And you disappear.

I don’t keep 

My phone on me

Anymore

What’s the point?

Your name won’t show up

And everyone else is white noise

Compared to your bass

That revived the butterflies 

Making them dance in

What now is a vacant space.

I’m thinking 

If I keep myself busy

Maybe my heartbreak 
won’t catch up to me

But this day will end

I’ll run out of breath

The pinnacle of my anxiety

Crushes me like a train

For now my nightmare is living

A sunset without you again.