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A step in my head
Is like walking through a minefield
It feels like one part of my brain is fighting the other
To win control and claim my sanity
It shouldn’t be that way
For the PAST
Let mistakes fade
May they be forgotten
Debts marked paid
At long last…

For the PRESENT
Hold tight my hand
Together we now stand
United as one
At long last…

For the FUTURE
Bright, shiny and clear
Hold and keep me near
Forever love found
At long last…

The die is cast
Love steady and fast
Life in the PRESENT
Eyes on the FUTURE
No regrets of the PAST

At long last…
February 26th 2018
Confused
Should I sleep all day?
‘Cause I didn’t sleep last night
Midnight
1:00 o’clock
2:00 o’clock
3:00 o’clock
4:00 o’clock
Then more
Watched the dawn break
Then fall asleep
Now caught in a quandary
Will I sleep tonight?
Should I even try?
All over again
Confused
September 30th 2016
I am afraid.
Afraid
that one day,
when all is said and done
and I am grey and old,
that the only stories I'll tell
will be ones of heartbreak and desperation
of the flesh.
I wished on a shooting star
I wished on the first star I saw in the night
I wished on an eyelash to find a true love
I wished on the candles on my birthday cake
I wished on the penny I threw in the well
I wished on a wishbone breaking it in two
I wished on a dandelion blowing seeds into the air
I wished on a ladybug to grant me good luck
I wished our love would come true
I wished you knew of my love for you

I wished that I knew… you were wishing for me too

I wished
I wished
I wished

I wished until there were no wishes left

(****! Where’s that Genie when you need him?)
March 27th 2018
He will always be your number one son
He will always be my mine too

You put the twinkle in his eye
You put the smile on his face
So have I

You’ve seen him laugh
You’ve seen him cry
So have I

You gave him life
A reason for living
So have I

You gave him kindness
You gave him love
So have I

You had the great joy
Of giving birth to a boy
So have I

You have shown him unconditional love
You have lived only for him
So have I

You see
We are not so different
You and I

Yes, we understand

From a child
To a man
The love of
A number one son
Mother and Mother -in- law sharing their Number  One Sons
"Sorry, but..."
The beginning of a simple message,
and the beginning of the end.
End of all familiarity and home,
end of possibilities and blue skies,
end to all expectations and sunrise...

Clouds cover the sun,
coldness takes over.
Breath hitches in your coarse throat,
wetness builds in your eyes,
as your heart breaks down.

"Sorry, but..."
A phrase that has become a frequent visitor in your life.
A phrase heard over and over again
like a broken record.
But despite the pain of it all,
you never learn.

With each utterance of the damning phrase,
the words pierce your flesh even further.
The end of all things...
And the frustrating part?
There's nothing you can do to stop it.

So, you smile,
salty water dripping from your eyes,
chest heavy,
wind whistling through the hole where your heart once was,

"I understand."

You text back,
hands shaking,
eyes fixated on the two words
displayed on the small LED screen.
But, sorry,
it doesn't mean that I'm not hurting.
All you'll ever see are two check marks next to the message, you'll see cold, black print encapsulated in a message bubble, but you'll never see the pain in the other person's eyes.
As I soar around the room
I like it up here
As I fly and I fly and I fly and I fly
I see her down there
Weeping and suffering
Please let me take away her pain
She should be happy not sad.
I go down to let her know I can help
She doesn’t see me she doesn’t care
Is that me I wonder?
As I look down below

I come crashing to the floor
Manic no more
September 7th 2016
I sent a Valentine’s Day card to a friend
Filled with get well wishes…
Hoping she was on the mend
I sealed it with heart stickers
On the envelope flap

Got my mail today
And what did I see?
Familiar hearts stickers
On the envelope flap

I thought it was from her
But it was not to be

DECEASED?
I cried
No not her

RETURN TO SENDER?
I didn’t know
How could that be?

UNABLE TO FORWARD?
What do you mean?
Don’t angels get mail?
March 26th 2018
For Liz
1/9/18 Gone too soon.
A horrific way to find about a death
You are never prepared to see those words
Deceased - Return to sender- Unable to forward
I received this in my mail..not knowing she was gone
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