to feel everything so raw and intense
is both a blessing
and a curse

I’m sick and tired of being that friend
the one everyone turns to and the one
who has to sort out everyones problems
i’m sick of being everyones punching bag
but i’m that friend who will always be there
and help you through your problems
even when I’m feeling like **** myself
can I for once be the one to be asked
if I’m okay?

*(s.m)

I was lost so innocently in your eyes
Completely
Fooled
By love itself

So,
I guess that explains why your words
Pierced
My
Gut
And left a suffering so deep
That no drunken novelist can explain it

Like you set fire to my kidneys

Bathed my lungs in citric acid

You know
I loved you more than I had thought possible
And my fingers will
Never
Feel
So at home
Again

But it's been a pleasure to have your hands be the ones to
Rip
Apart
My chest
And break the bones that make up my rib cage

It was an honour to love you

But

This is my final tribute to you
My final goodbye
The last time I put your inflections to paper
The
Last
Time
I
Ever
Miss you

you're every lump in my throat that i swallow down
in December you're an abandoned seaside town
you're the ghost who loves her reflection to be cast on my wall
i'm still waiting for you to be nothing at all

i'm the unknown number in the middle of the night
i'm in the eyes of a boy who you're thinking just might
make you feel the way both of us once did
i want to be a shadow beside you and forever i'll live

I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I do
I hate you
I hate you
I hate what happened
I hate what I did
I hate where I am
I hate the changes that I had to make
I hate being responsible
I hate being sad
I hate that you're gone
I hate that I'm wrong
I hate this
I hate myself

You want me to HATE you?
        To yell, cuss and scream?
How could I do that to you?
             I'm living a nightmare,
      and you're my dream...

You want me to call you names?
    Say you're an *******, idiot, and worthless?
          How could I do that to you?  
    You're my only star,
           when I'm feeling hopeless

You want me to give you,
         What you think you deserve?
   Say you hurt me by being evasive, cowardly and untrue?
        How could I do that to you?
    I don't lie to or hurt the people I love...
          And you simply mean too much

       You want me to tell you a secret?
    Tell you how I'm hurt, crying and ashamed?
         How could I? It's not really true.
     You're stuck in my heart for good
And I've already forgiven you.

And felt as beautiful as you think she is.

I wish I walked into a room and grabbed attention as much as she grabs yours.

I wish I spoke and captivated someone the way she captivates you when she says your name.

I wish I awoke in the morning and heard my true love's heartbeat next to mine as she does every day.

I wish I knew a love as strong as your love for her.

I do not wish for your love, though, because I know that is one thing that is far out of my reach. I only wish for someone to love me the way that you love her, so that maybe someday I will love him as much as I still love you.

there are few things i don't know where she learned
like :  "don't cut your whrists,i'll leave scars,
make it somewhere where no one can see."
about her knowing those things should i be concearned?
i have never known she was like me...

like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me