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Last class:*

Muddled mind and bleary eyed
Concentration took a fall
Find a hollow - crawl inside
Lost the pills to Now-Tow Hall

Benzos - always second choice
Wear my Kpen like a shawl
Want to whine with all my voice
GIVE ME BACK MY ADDERALL

This class:

**Iris in on what's inside
Orange bottle of enthrall
Guidance, I will not abide
my true love - oh adderall

Tweaking out with pupils wide
Shrink my presence, oh so small,
Temptations I will all abide
Personified a mere rag doll.
All poems original Copyright © 2015, 2016.
Astrology claims it has seen us before
Maybe back when the greek gods were in power and they fell in love like liars.
Always dreaming of each other and forming plans for humanity
while tangled up in each other's bed sheets.
Are they the reason why we are not compatible?
Because they have determined that  I only seem to catch things on fire and you calmly throw your waters upon my destruction..
Because I hunt among a pack and you swim with currents of the sea..
We are but slaves to the stars.

But I do know that astrology has never seen us
Call me a hopeless romantic for believing that we are different
So be it.
You do not understand,
I have never known love
I have had many lovers
But none of whom have loved me
Nor have I ever loved in return.

You do not understand
You puzzle me
With you, I am like a child learning to walk
Learning to speak
This is all a foreign language to me.

You do not understand
I am afraid.
In the time you were gone, I found myself filled with extra space. Nothing too obvious; not gaping holes in my stomach, nor chunks from my arm. Rather, they were minute cracks that ensnared me. These unwanted holes appeared at random; when someone spoke of sandwiches, I felt a soft ***** in the back of my mind. When I encountered a full moon, I felt a throb in the tips of my fingers. And sometimes, when I caught sight of a dollar bill, a pang of nostalgia bit me somewhere deep down in my chest. This discomfort never lasted long. These cracks never formed one excruciating pain – the kind that fully consumes, but diminishes over time like a large hole in a wall that will soon be filled in. These cracks I felt, this empty space, it affected me demurely. As some cracks were filled in, new ones spread forth. My disrepair did not increase nor decrease in the years to come, but rather, spread out to different locations, as I patched and filled along the way. My foundation as a person grew perpetually flawed, yet remained stable enough to stay upright. My eventual remedy was to simply remember this; I am a structure made of concrete. Wear me down, and all you get is more concrete. In this way, it was okay that you were gone. In this way, I discovered the weight of time and also, the art of saying goodbye.
(All poems original Copyright of Eva Denali Will © 2015, 2016)
I don’t know if you know
I carry you
in an involuntary sigh
in a constant exodus of yearning
and in the frantic deepness of all
nostalgic thought, shaking time and distance
to place me near you
in the closeness of your warmth
remembered

I carry you in sorrow
precipitated
in the absence of your voice
and in the memory of your rib cage molded
in the shape of ardent weakness
my embrace

I carry you, the braille at the tip of my fingers
life drawn in lines on my left palm
and in the carcass of calm interrupted
by the pounding of a heart’s ill-time

I don't know if you know, but
I carry you in the crown of memories consoled
and in the spine of excess
where I fall, between involuntary sighs
defeated
in your skin remembered
from the confines
of the heart
On a night...just a night.
She takes a breath;
A big one--
The kind that lifts her chest
Reaches her stomach.

She holds herself,
Steady little birdy,
5, 6, 7, 8...
Then unleashes
All of her raw wild grace;
As they sit in awe
Of the most beautiful animal
She brings before them.

She embodies the maelstroms,
The typhoons, the hurricanes,
That have destroyed so many,
As she devastates her audience
In subliminal bliss.
She is purely a creature of light;
A force of nature, so absolute,
So fragile;
She could break herself,
Have the world shatter
In but a flex...

The melody
Of her expression will run out soon.
As the last few bars thunder down,
She recedes;
Her energy smashed
And scattered
With those who saw her
When she was in her space,
Where they could not touch her
Or her spirit.
They were helpless in the face
Of her fire--
So hot, so bright,
It blazed in the brilliance
Of a thousand suns,
Before the last flame of the candle
Lost it's light...
Not with a bang, but a whimper

A coldness takes hold,
She realizes she has to come back
To their world.
She will miss
Her own little dimension
Where she is Queen;
Her space where she can fly,
Where she can move mountains,
And reign over thunderstorms...

The curtains start to draw
As she prepares to leave the stage,
Taking hold of the memories made
Only to be forgotten and remembered;
Thinking of her time in the sun,
She takes a last breath
And bows out.
Her grace, now a dim memory
Forgotten, only to be remembered
In these eternal phrases,
*When you read them.
will you sing to me when i am dead
when i can no longer feel raindrops
falling upon my head.

will you play me the cello
as you sit beside my grave,
dying shrubbery, and my life encased.

a closed casket to entrap,
encase, enclose my foolish soul
my ramblings gone stale and old -

will you sing to me when i am dead
like you used to,
when i were a child
ever young and foolish too -
It was selfish of her
To leave.
She needed the change;
Had to move,
Having been stuck so long
She felt suppressed,
And so depressed.
She just needed to leave,
But where could she start?

He was easiest to leave,
The most convenient to cut off;
He didn't hold on,
He didn't even try.
She didn't know,
Was she angry
That it was easy for her to leave?
Or that he didn't even try to stop it?

But she had to leave,
The reasons didn't matter,
The semantics were moot,
Whether he wanted her to,
Or he didn't--
Whether she wanted to,
Or she didn't want him to let her;
Nothing mattered.

It was truly selfish of her
To leave.
She had to fly
And he made it easy for her
To leave him behind...
 Jan 2016 Tyler Nicholas
Day
bing
someone you barely know alerting you that you're still not good enough
ring
a person you care about calling just to see if they can use you for they're own selfish purpose
ting
a bell screaming that you're late to a class that "blesses
you with worthless education and stress
bing
an oven crying out to let you know that some food that you dont want is ready to eat
ding
showing up to a party where all anyone really cares about it whether your high or in bed
sing
another song playing some meaningless lyrics about something you have no interest in
slam
another door closing let everyone know just how much of a freak you really are
drip
blood running off of a soul that is shocked that they're anything still left inside
shuuush
water running to wash off the evidence of a broken heart dripping with liquid pain


silence
**lying on a bed alone waiting for the cycle of emptiness to repeat itself when the dawn comes
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