This is my dedication to depression
All the lessons learnt from unsent messages
Regrets to blessings
I remember everything
I used to sing T. Swift's junk
To see you smile and lift you up
Now i talk to walls in hopes im not alone
Who knows how crazy feels? I know -
I lost a piece of me when you had to leave
Rest in peace - you made me the best me
I've always been so proud of you
That will never change hope somehow you know it
Still, i suppose we'll all be sad for a moment
Til we all laugh together again, a toast -
I'm thankful for the pain that keeps you close

Blue lips
Slow hips
Sway away, darling
I need to relax
But I more-so need
To express myself
To dress myself
With a smile
Fragrance myself
With positivity
Your passion within itself
Is my favourite scent
It is sweet
Like recognition
For who I am
But gentle
Like your touch
Like your art

Blue lips
Beautiful even when hurt
Soft even when bleeding
Swollen with effort
Stolen with a kiss
You touch my soul
With less fragility
You are rough
With your ideas
Your beautiful ideas
Share your ideology
With me, please
Spill your thoughts
Onto more than just paper
Pour yourself
Into my heart
As if you haven't already
Come back soon
I'll be here, waiting

Blue lips*
You must remember
That beauty comes
After pain...
You may go through a lot
But I see only more beauty
Within your bravery
I admire you
I desire you
For you are strong, darling
You are fierce
Pretty, simple, complicated,
Like a silver feather...
You just need to remember
That you will not be blue
Forever.

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason
And I just stare at the ceiling
Senseless thought running around my mind like phrase
With tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone.
I just bury myself on my mattress
And think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you
And I will cry myself to sleep
If you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep
I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much.
I will depend on you.
I need attention, much more than other people.
I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one.
I’ll write poems about you and open up notepad at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor
Shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists.
I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you,
Every bit of love, until I have nothing to give.
Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head
When I hate myself so much that I want to die.
Your words will be the only things that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear.
You won’t be able to leave me,
Because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay.
You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you

How fragile the butterfly
as it dances in the sky
trying to find its way home
to a place not carved of stone
soon all this will be dust
so it asks what's all the fuss?
what is all the fighting for?
silly soldiers and their wars
silly man and his laws
the only law is mother nature
for no man can escape her
she who birthed us all
she who waits when we fall
for how the mighty will crumble
as the fools they do stumble
upon the stolen hands of time
each of them suffering for their crimes
and yet the butterfly it worries not
for all that it is, is all that it's got
beauty set upon wings
it's beauty that truly sings.