These days
I'm starting to think
Nothing can mean everything

And everything can just as well be
Nothing

Oh dear heart,
Tell me why do you get excited,
When nothing lasts,
Why do u want me to let anything in,
If it´ll only cause me hurt,
Why do you cheer for someone,
If you know there´ll be an end
It´s lovely when the heart craves something,
But terrible when that doesn´t last

when parallel worlds collide
no words may be spoken
of the chaos left inside
how about this
you were not there
it was not real
my missing parts
you did not steal
digging deeper
deepest down
I found some thing
made me bold
alchemical gold
cannot be bought
cannot be sold
still brought a lot of trouble to my door
 future, present and what went before.

Poor men talk to God.
Rich men talk of wealth and fame.
Poets talk to ghosts.

It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.
The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
I am not going to give the lead.”

Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
Time stopped,
And silence reached there.
The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.

When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high;
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.

If someone
does not want me
it is not the end
of the world
but
if I do not want me
the world is nothing
but endings

I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.