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  Sep 2018 Ash
Shaxy
I wanted to write a book
about Us
but how could I
when
Our ending
is only in
Chapter One?
A very short love story
  Sep 2018 Ash
Hungry Panda
Why can't you see
You hurt me like a bee
You can't rid my troubles
Its not like popping bubbles
You cause me pain
Yet you don't restain
Ash Sep 2018
You know those films on movies where they flip the table
Throw things around and scream obscenities at everyone
Well this is exactly what I would do,if my life was a movie
Instead I the prey sit here hiding all the anger trapped inside
Instead I the prey take a walk stay silent taming it all in
Instead I the prey fall prey every time to the predators bait

You know that feeling you get when you are disgusted by yourself
Trying to conjure up where everything went wrong?
How you can change things?
What to do not to repeat the same mistake?
When you finally think I got this,you repeat the same thing
Only to get things actually have gotten worse
Well that feeling of disgust is not funny

You know that feeling you get when realize how naive you've been
When you realize all the anger that you have is because:
You just couldn't let go
You held onto your ideas so strongly,you couldn't see the others
You loved someone to much but didn't love an ounce of yourself
You listened to all the negative people
You felt all the negative energy and let it consume you
Yeah well I can tell you how pathetic and joyful realizing that will make you feel

I put you on top
So far up there
When I need you the most
When I come to collect my fingers caught ***** first,
Then I stretched a little further and got hate
I stretched a little further and got unfaithfulness
I stretched and got pain so much pain and anger
When I almost gave up I got me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
So I'll give you this I love you always will
Even though you shattered me
Though I love you more because you dear
Returned me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
This poem is a get way of some sort,I wrote it with a lot of anger at first as clearly seen in the first stanza but as I was writing,spilling this words out I realized my problem all the anger morphed into something else better than crying or being angry all the anger towards the person towards my situation turned to getting me back with a sprinkle of wisdom ,now I just wished I had done this earlier which shows what I meant by not loving an ounce of myself since I listen to others more than I listened to me,I loved and wanted to be loved more than I had love for myself,always doing what they want to please them always holding so firmly to my philosophies that I broke every single time things didn't go how I idealized them,So this is just what this poem above is about it took this final straw just when I thought things couldn't get worse only for them too for me to get me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
  Sep 2018 Ash
Maya
it may seem
overdone
to write about love

but once you have it
it is impossible
not to want to share.

love is a cookie sample
at a grocery store
unexpected and surprisingly delicious.

love is a street dog
fed better than its owner
scruffy and fearless and full of hope.

love is what you thought you lost
but like a lucky penny
tends to appear on its own.

slowly
surely
quickly

i am falling
but it is the most glorious fall
in my life

and when i hit the ground
the asphalt will taste just as sweet
as the descent.

it may be overdone to write about love
but i couldn't care less today.
you are worth all my words.
ich liebe dich
  Sep 2018 Ash
amora
How can someone love me if I'm too broken?
If my scars are visible and ugly
If I keep too many secrets unspoken
And my heart is always unhappy

How can someone love me if I'm shattered?
I am a hard puzzle you can't ever solve
The pieces of me are scattered
And i am difficult to dissolve

How can someone love me if I don't even love myself?
If I'm the one who sends trouble
If I'm like an old book stock in a shelf
And a boring girl who doesn't go out from her bubble

So how can someone love me if I'm locked up in a cage
And too broken like a crumpled page.
  Sep 2018 Ash
Lori Mack
****** does that to you...

Phone rings,
It's 1 a.m.
Private number.
I know what that means.
"Hello" I say.
His voice is shakey,
He chokes out the words.
"Mom, I just got arrested,
I'm going to jail."
I took a deep breath,
Giving me time to think
Of the right words to say.
"Ok, I love you.
Don't forget to tell them
That your gonna be sick."
****** does that to you...
"Mom, I should of listened to you.
I'm sorry.
Next time I will."
How many next times,
Thinking to myself.
I can't count how many times he's been arrested,
And sent to juvie or jail.
We both knew this time it would be prison.
****** does that to you...
"That's what you said last time.
But you just keep running back to it.
I know your sorry.
No matter what,
I will always love you.
I am holding you right now baby boy."
He cries even harder.
"Mom I'm scared of getting sick.
I really want a cigarette."
21 years old but he sounds like a 3 year old,
With a high pitched whine.
****** does that to you...
Last time I saw him he looked 35
And probably only weighed 110.
Arms scarred with needle marks
Infected sores throughout his body.
Smelled of sweat and dumpsters
Where he had been digging for food.
I barely recognized him.
Where had my son gone?
He couldn't look me in the eye.
****** does that to you...

L. Mack

6/17/18
True story
  Sep 2018 Ash
Poetoftheway
,how do you know when
(a human is too broken?)




<•>

human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed


so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
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