Where does my heart lie?
    In a church,
        On a stage?
    In a book,
        On a page?

How does my heart lie?
    On its side?
        On its face?
     In a pile,
        In some place?

Why does my heart lie?
    To my friends,
       Old and new?
    To my family,
        My own heart too?

It took years
I knew every bump and crack
In rain , fog , night or day
I ran to be running away

Found my second wind
air rthmically
going out , going in
mile after mile
constant as the waters
of the Nile

Later
while I was sitting
in my den
A wondrous feeling came over me
A high that elevates . . .
one that no drug can reach

We were June's children:
Lazing in our cottages
Of restful diversions,
Sleeping through sticky days.
We were the youth of July:
Strong-backed and surly,
Unafraid and eager.
We pined for a challenge.
Stiff-lipped and sunburnt,
Now we are August's boys:
Wet-mouthed and grass dewed,
We dance naked in the wheatfields.
We slide amongst the chaff.
Our strong backs brace
Against heavy furnace skies,
And we look to September
With summer in our eyes.

I'm not sure I'm even sad anymore by the technical definition of the word-
I think I just am tired of waking up to the same smells, the same sounds, the same loneliness that has become my best friend-

They say you get addicted to a certain type of sadness, but that could be just a lyric in a song I heard once-
I find myself dismissing the ideas of sunshine and wishing for the rain-
I find myself driving across state lines tossing my cell out the window and letting my darker than normal hair fly in the wind as I drive with no end goals-

I am sure I'm not sad anymore I just hate routine and want to disappear for a while-
My doctor wants to put me on anti-depressants but I flipped him off and screamed anarchy as I walked out that door-

One day I'll have the courage to say goodbye to everything I've ever known-
I'll color my hair and wear tight pants because I can do what I want-
I'll drink midori sours in the morning and sleep in my car-

My doctor called me reckless and insane -
My parents called me immature and needed to grow up-
My friends told me I'm depressed and keep trying to reassure me I won't die alone-
I say I don't give a **** anymore; let the wild take me and set me free-

I'm a sad, sad humanbeing
Wandering in the night
I'm not lost, I'm finding myself
In the forrest, in the wild, all alone
This is where I feel known

Who knows where it all will end?
Who knows what we really are?
Who they really are?
If you get rid of society, friends and family
If it's just you and planet earth
Just you and people you have no relation or connection to
Who are you then?
You can't know
You will never know
Who you really are
If noone or nothing told you who to be
What to do or not to do
What's socially acceptable and what's not
How to treat people or not treat people
If nothing was said or unsaid,
How would it be?

What is this? What is earth? What are humans?
What is everything? Why is everything?
Why is everything as everything is?
How would everything be if nothing was as everything now is?
What would nothing be, if nothing was decided?
And would there even be an everything?
Who decided what everything's definition is?

To be so clever that we, humans, are
To create everything we, humans, have
We're also the most stupid, narrowminded, selfish and ungrateful creatures at the same time

Isn't it bittersweet? Isn't it strange?
I find everything strange, I find myself strange and everyone else strange
If you think about it, nothing is not strange.
Isn't it strange?

Watching rushing from above
falling down to meet the crowd
sensing, momentarily, serene in the scene
suddenly, seeking something singular
not spotting it,
and progressing with shifting seasons.

Solitude,
The extension of my body,
Living at the end of my fingertips,
Eating me alive.

Solitude,
The friend I've had for years,
The only one to wipe my tears
As I die in my sleep.

Solitude,
Oh, Solitude,
The one who never leaves,
Never disappears,
The one I'll always have
Here, with me.

Solitude,
In the darkest corners of my mind
I will always find you
loving me, caressing me.

Solitude,
Oh, Solitude...
My one and only


Solitude