Atticus

Jun 2019

Sky

I know that I am good,
that I am a lightly colored soul,

But sometimes I feel the darkness
welling up inside—
I force it onto myself
so that I don’t hurt anyone else.

#depression #darkness #sad

Atticus Jun 2019

Bees

I want to slash at my skin with the same intensity that the beehive in my skeletal frame has when the worker bees attempt to seal all the broken parts of me sickly sweet

I want to scream so that It goes hoarse because if I’m not being heard what’s the point of having one anyway

I want to take the weight of their spines lift the broken onto my shoulders so that the shrapnel embedded feet they own no longer have to sink deeper
Embedded further

I want to feel love like the love my parents have in the subtle ways that they check in on each other
In the small favours, they do for each other

More so

I want to hear her voice say the words I have always longed to hear the words that I know won’t be said the words that are difficult to comprehend

#hope #love #poem #poet #weight #young #mental #health #lgbt #pressure

May 2019

eileen

picked a flower / it died

when I was young
I had big eyes
full of truth
full of youth
full of dreams

brown like the soil a flower grows

eyes that saw the
infinite sky
stars swam inside
carried sunshine

Where's the love
Where's the color
Where's the vision

I've always listened

I can't see
what you're trying to show me

when I was young
I saw the world

now my eyes are small
I don't believe anymore

Atticus May 2019

How to be gay in a heterosexual world

Always be on the lookout
In case someone sees you holding your girlfriends hand
Be wary of those who claim that god loves everyone but objectify you for your sexuality
Always maintain your composure when someone mentions the idea of your sexuality being a ‘kink’
And finally find your people
The ones who offer a rope down the dark well that is your mind
The ones who give you light
The ones who uplift

They tell you to not give in
And so far I haven’t
For that I am proud

#lgbt #gay #lesbian #teen #love #careful #poem #poet #heterosexual #composure

Atticus May 2019

Holistically

You told me your biggest secret
And
How proud of you I am

The fact that you trust me enough to spill what’s inside of you
The things that make you holistically who you are
I have seen what is nestled at your core as you have mine

So it makes sense as to why I feel sick a complete and utter sense of security when I’m with you

I crave your touch
Sometimes so intensely that a phantom burn runs through my veins like that of scalding coffee on a day where the sky cannot hold its tears in any longer because even the sky has days where the sun is but a small blinking dot
When darkness has crept in like that of a masked phantom

We understand each other
I’m a mutual relationship

But I ache for more
I ache so deeply that even my dreams are dominated by you

Your smile and the curve of your neck
Supple and untouched

Oh how I yearn for your touch

#lgbt #teen #love #angst #hurt #romance #hope #sadness #poem #poet

May 2019

Nylee

unjust society

I hate watching how much freedom he gets to have
more than how little choices she is given by everyone.

#society #him #her #freedom #everyone #nyee #choices

Atticus May 2019

Dust Storm Hearts

Ashen skies and dust storm heart
Departures aren't easy
They're hard
So hard

Better off they say
I don't think I can agree so freely
When the one who was your rock
And guardian angel has to die

The days get longer
The sun passes over the sky
To start afresh

I ask myself what you would do
Or what you would say in conversations or scenarios
The crumbling friendships and jeering

But I know I'll be ok
Even if today or another day I don't feel ok
Because life goes on
And it ***** but it's true

I'm just happy that I got to spend so many moments with you

#teenager #poetry #sad #poems #storm #dust #heart #love #angst #death