The sun
Is glad to see your face,
Your unseen grace,
Your Hidden space,
Your
Silhouette now covered in sun beams.
It seems
You've been
Packed away for a very long time
Its almost a crime how you've
Shielded yourself from his hydrogenity.
The sun
Is glad to see your smile
Your pearly whites
And colorless lips
Soft,
Too cold,
needing,
Craving,
warmth.
His
Golden fingers graze your cheek
And Bring life back to your pallor.
Who knew
Living as a recluse would make you so blue,
So unidentifiable?
He Brings you back from the dead
Pulling your soul back out
into your flesh.
Fresh
And healed,
At least Temporarily
But it
is enough,
His touch,
To liven your now tanning skin
To Make you akin to his own:
A sunflower
Trapped in the dark
3 inches tall instead of 3 feet
Now starting to grow beyond skyscrapers with his aid,
if his light is what's causing you to
Stand up straight
His heat is what is reviving your heartbeat
A Crescendo from silence to a slight pitter patter
Almost as soft as rain.
Almost as if crying.
If you listen hard enough,
You just might hear it wimpering, waking up from it's hibernation.
It
Wants to go back to sleep
But he
Refuses to give up his efforts of recesitation
For he knows it isn't for naught,
For he knows that it is working,
Your heart stirring
Beating
Louder as you step further out of the door frame
Let him
Cradle your soul with his firey hands
Let him
Bring you back from the dead.
You Look so much more alive when you let him work his magic on you.
The world
Has missed you.
Looking around,
Your mind starts whirring,
Analysing The outside world.
The Green of the grass and the
Blue of the sky,
All Graces of the solar angel shining over you,
Shining into you.
Giving you sight,
Giving you life,
Giving you the things you couldn't have before.
Let his
Golden happiness seep into your freezing bones,
And,
Turn them into torches
And burn brighter, in the daylight
Than you ever did in the darkness.

The edges of my heart
Cut my soft fingertips every time I try to put the shards back together
Shattered, it struggles to not beat itself into pieces once again
Sometimes,
It feels as if my heart isn't the only point of origin for the blood Pumping through my veins
My lungs
Have become nothing but collateral damage from the
Razor sharp "I love you's,"
Their causalness
Serrating my gentle, slowing breaths
Stopping my heart's beating
Every word holding a little less meaning
"I love you?" I say back, confusèdly
Wondering
Exactly what percentage of your heart you think you poured into your words
Because I
Didn't hear any of it.
Cold, Callous
sandpaper tongue
Licking at the firey feelings of Doubt in my mind
Maybe
My quieted voice can quench my questions
Smother the slivers of vowels lodged in my lungs
Trust me when I say you cannot hold in the blood flowing from my wounds
By holding My hand.
Shorter than I yet
Somehow your lies stand taller than my inner knowing truth.
Your heart is flawless and filled with youth
So you
Cannot see the end as being anything other than mutual
Like my heart fingers and lungs
Are mutually bleeding
Sometimes, it is hard to tell which is bleeding more
Sometimes,
It is hard to tell if I am holding myself together or continuously falling further apart
Not like you would know the difference
You only ever held me when I didn't need it
When I smiled
Your mouth was filled with i love yous
But when I cried
It was never filled with questions
Why
Did you never try to see through me
Or even simply into my eyes
I thought you knew I wouldn't let you drown in my tears
But
Your reluctance to talk about my fears
Only shoved my own head under the steadily rising waters of sadness
And despair
My dear, how did you get so distant?
Moons, planets, light years away
Your heart
May as well have been located in the andromeda galaxy
Because i
Could never truly reach it
Did you really want to become so distant?
When I just wanted to reside by your side
I guess I'll dont really want to know the reason why
Or if it would have even been worth it to try
To fix us.

She sits on her bed wondering if she will ever get better.
Ever BE better.
She wonders if her choices and emotions are her fault
Or a product of something deeper.
She stares at herself in the mirror
and wonders
If her tired eyes were caused by the torrent of tears, or instead, if they were caused by life's tolls.
But,
What she doesn't know,
Is that the only person who sees her in this way
Is herself.
She
Is only the underdog
To herself.

I wait for fourteen years of my life
to be the big sister .
And that waiting was worth it.

Now I'm one , a big sis
I got one charming little brother.

Still I remember the day,
I held him in my arms.
He was so tiny and cute.
I was scared that I may hurt him.

Thanks to the Almighty .
I just don't know
How I should thank my creator
For blessing me, my cute little pie.

Dear love ,

You've given me your trust.
But I haven't......

You showed me the right path.
But I didn't.........

You named me Lily in your garden.
But I wasn't pure and devoted you..
As you thought. ........

You said I'm key to your happiness.
But I threw the key ...
Far away............

You gave me your love
But I faked mine......

You left me
But why I'm always thinking about you. ......
Why I'm shedding tears when I look at your pictures....

And now I'm missing you
Your smiles, your touch
Just,
Everything about you........

I wanted to be in your arms.
But it's different now....

I know my second chance with you will never come.
All I have given you is pain and agony.

You deserve someone who truly loves you.
Not the fake love which I have given....

Not all stories have happy ending.
And its time to end our story too.

Now, I'm letting you go......

I'm moving on.......

Goodbye......

"John, Jennifer, Sarah, can I talk to all of You? Together?"
Words that I thought too little of and too much of, in unison.
My
Heart dropping
My
Mind dismissing my troubled emotions
"I'm sure it's nothing big" I thought to myself "it must be about dishes, or the broken garbage disposal, right?"
But,
My subconscious knew how wrong I was;
what my sheltering thoughts tried to ignore:
"We
Are getting evicted."
9 years of memories, not gone, but the house they were made in
We will no longer occupy
And
Will never occupy again.
I
Am not exactly sure how to feel
I
Don't really know if I am feeling too little, or too much
I
Don't think I've really even processed the fact yet.
What I thought would be a family conference about cleaning, or dishes turned into news we never saw coming
How
Does one process something you were never expecting to come.
We have
2 weeks:
To process,
To appreciate,
To memorize,
To let go.
Nothing I haven't been through before, and on shorter notice in the past
So this time
I will be stronger,
And older
I will be wiser than my constantly moving child-self ever was
I will
Not break, or crack under the pressure or the weight of past memories
I will
Mature
And be sturdy
And do the most that I can to help.
Because this
Isn't, and won't be easy on any of us.
So I
Will do my best
And we will get through this,
All of us,
Together.