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I sit here and stress
About the highs and lows of tomorrow
If you will think of me or not
If i am important
If am important enough for effort
To choose me over something simple.
I choose you.
But who cares,
Your not "ready" to except love.
But i wasnt.
I broke.
But if you did-
That means more.
Because you are most important to you.
So if i back off
If im quiet
And if i leave
Its me protecting myself.
Its me trying to prevent a crack
Or a chip
Or a scratch
Because they all hurt the same.
But you dont care about the damage done to me.
So as i sit there
From the warm glow of the candles
I hope i dont wish for you.
Because you should of been there already.
I missed—
Never mind, it was time to let go.
I used to wish I’d never met you
but if I hadn’t,
I wouldn’t have assessed what I wanted or
what I needed.

But I wish you the best,
And to eventually find her.
Treat her better.
Love her better.

But not before I,
Because let’s be honest here:
I’m too sensitive—you said it yourself.
You were never mine; a year’s worth of time
Will make you realize that.
I still love you though,
I’m still here—don’t worry,
it’s strictly platonic.

But don’t forget I was always good to you.
I will always be good to you.
But I’m better to myself now.
And even though it still hurts a little—and
This moment presses ******* the wound
You left,
I don’t regret a **** thing.
Lonely
Seeking to belong
A beautiful
Captivating
Sad girl’s song.

I get it
You need your space
But I need
Your love
To wipe these tears
From my sad
Beautiful face.
I can feel them on my skin.
I feel their electricity, so powerfully pleasing, pulling me in.
Every glance, makes my stomach dance.
The longer it lingers, I ache for her fingers laced between mine.
Because,
it's only in those moments
that things seem fine.
I am undone by your
eyes
burning through my
lies.
10w
holding on so tight
tightly to what
made me sad are you happy
to always welcoming hands
wander/lusting heart

am i lonely//are you lonesome
which road will take me to you
quick flashes of connections — where to run off to next.

open up to him and he will show you what you are capable of.

do i have a wall up with you
yes
i am letting you in i am letting you in
now say it until you believe it
in i am letting you in
— all my poetry is about falling apart—

i can hardly hear myself think
you are so much you are so many sad songs. you are so new and nostalgic.
does that make sense?
deana, you’re not understanding what i’m saying.

——————brick——————
I murdered chances more than three times,
and by definition I became a serial killer.

But how long can a monster reside inside my soul
before I forget that I’m human?
How many more chances must I get
to feel something good?

But my targets never change,
she has to be vulnerable,
weak, and silent.

I try to be the creator
and destroyer,

I help build the foundation to a corpse half dead

become alive,
become strong willed
and strong physically,
and sometimes assist in creating
a voice like thunder.

But I fail to see that putting others before me doesn’t justify the “love” I feel for them. I am no better than the guy who will break your heart in your next relationship.

I **** more good than I create it,
I don’t live for you or I,
I live because the world has
given me reason too.

I feel the energy of death and life,
and I play with both
inside my body.

Yet I can’t keep my mind off of you
and hoping that one day you will see
that I’m Frankenstein's monster
and you’re my creator.

Demons are inside me
as much as angels fly overhead
Fires burn inside my ribs
and consume my belly.

I’m a psychopath
and a writer.

But I’m also a lover trying to mend hearts with pieces of mine.
you said
"goodnight, for now"
and i was foolish enough
to believe that 'for now'
meant you'd stay.
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