Tara: Poems

531 · Jun 2018

My Lanp

Tara Jun 2018

My Lanp

My parents tell me to sleep
I take my sleeping pills
Sit alone in the darkness.
The record skips once
And again
And again
My mind races
Will the record player ever stop

My parents scolded me
The sleeping pills are worthless
I sit with my thoughts
The record player dies
It’s silent
It’s to silent
My mind pauses
When will it return

I take sleeping pills and this is actually something that happens to me a lot. My record player is lovely but the records have their skips....

#night #thoughts #mind #racing #stop #again #repeats #dark #darkness #black

500 · Jun 2018

Anxiety

Tara Jun 2018

Anxiety

Clanking my knees down each hallway
Breathing heavily
The world is crashing
Each sound amplified

Shaking hands
Puking again
Falling over
On edge

Verge of tears
I want to cry
I can’t anymore
Leave me alone
After all everyone leaves

We are temporary
So what’s the point
Leave me now

You will get tired of this venom injected to my heart
Be like everyone else
Leave.

Everything hurts
They’re watching
This isn’t enough.

My daily pain

#lost #alone #whereami #whoareyou #stumble #mumble #anxiety #steps #explore

463 · Jun 2018

your pretty thin

Tara Jun 2018

your pretty thin

Hunger
Wolves gnawing at my stomach
Pain
With every move and twist of my body
Burning me inside

I want to eat
I need to eat
But I can’t
When I do
Just a bite

One swallow
I feel full
It’s an empty full
Then I puke
It all comes out

Gross acidic taste
The wolves keep eating me from the inside out
Lightheaded and dizzy
Am I okay?
I’m lost in the stomach

Anorexia. Oof. My demon. I haven’t been affected that much but a few months ago it was pretty bad. My mom and friends parents always said Sweetheart your so thin. That made me really sad because I was still called fat face because of my faces bone structure of being round... no matter how skinny I was my face stayed the same.

#empty #stomach #gone #dizzy #lightheaded #okay #notokay #puke #food #full

414 · Jun 2018

1,000 Piece Puzzle

Tara Jun 2018

1,000 Piece Puzzle

All puzzles you have need to be solved
Some pieces will never be found
My mind is a puzzle
Each night it falls apart
Sometimes I don’t put it back together
The pieces collect cobwebs
I’m broken but I don’t want to be fixed
One day I’ll open up the Skeltons
I’ll spend hours trying to be “together”
My 1,000 pieces
Always missing more each time
I’m scared the day I’ll loose all my pieces

...

#puzzle #piece #webs #open #skeltons #together #alone #mind #missing #fractured

359 · Jun 2018

My Wrists

Tara Jun 2018

My Wrists

It started very long ago
The bruises started small
Evolved into scarred wrists
My mother keeps crying sadly
I’ve disappointed her
She used to brag about my sculpted body
Now she glares at my scarred abs
Summer used to be my favorite
Now winter is the best
It started voluntarily
Now I can’t quit.

Sorry about the short little mind blurb about my self harm struggle.....

#selfharm #cut #cutting #pain #endless #forever #eternal #quit #stay #confusion

343 · Jun 2018

Lil crush

Tara Jun 2018

Lil crush

I’ll never kiss you
Clear sad fact
You make me smile
My heart sometimes hurts
A pain I’ll bear with

I think of you lots
One day you’ll reject me
I’m taking my time
Treasuring each moment
Dreaming of forever

Three words you’d be fine
We weren’t ever together
A casual odd stranger
I don’t want you to go
I’d rather keep dreaming

Living in a fantasy
I’d rather escape my reality
Don’t ruin this quiet moment
Just simple idle chatter
Still do you like me to?

I don’t like anyone currently but here’s a lil poem I wrote about the times

#crush #love #hopeless #never #wish #dream #fantasy #quiet #sad

330 · Jun 2018

Smile

Tara Jun 2018

Smile

Half circles plastered on billboards
Blinding white light
A sore face
Blood dripping
Smile dear
One more time

Short piece about smiles- I hate smiles but I know some people enjoy them, if you do more power to ya buddy.

#smile #sad #lonely #media #society #happy #emotion #whoareyou #confused #blood

300 · Jun 2018

Rocks and People

Tara Jun 2018

Rocks and People

Sedimentary, igneous, metamorphic
I know a lot about rocks
The cycle
We are like rocks
The cycle
what will we become next

Good, neutral, evil
I know a lot about people
The cycle
We are like people
The cycle
What will we become next

When I was in kindergarten I wanted to be a geologist. I still know many useless facts about rocks but it helps me get by science class

#rocks #people #evil #good #stone #cold #neautral #cycle #cycles #who

287 · Jun 2018

Goodbye

Tara Jun 2018

Goodbye

Look away when you depart
If you look in their eyes
You’ll never leave
Perhaps exchange a hug
But then I’ll never want to let you go
With one sad tear
Either held within or rolling out
I wave a see you later
Even if I know I won’t

I’m used to goodbyes and see you laters. We all have to leave eventually, even the ones you love.

#death #bye #later #eyes #hug #wave #go

— The End —