The windows are dark
Paint is chipping and faded
Life has left its mark
On this old abandoned house

There are whispers in the air
Ghosts of the past
From the people who lived here
In this old abandoned house

The roof is caving in
Allowing rain to sodden the interior
Creaky floors squealing in distress
In this old abandoned house

Shadows wander room to room
Some crying, others silent
Life for them wasn't fair
In this old abandoned house

Ignored within the neighborhood
Weeds overgrowing
Hiding the path
To this old abandoned house

Always in the dark
Shaded by trees of willow
Drooping down to hide
This old abandoned house

It's raining again
I want to go for a walk
With the sky crying
And the world strangely quiet

I'm alone again
The silence is killer
The rain echoes
I feel detached

No one around
My heart hammers anyway
Like a hummingbird in my chest
The feeling a mimic to the rain

It's raining again
And I want to go for a walk
All by myself
To keep the anxiety away

Shiver
Because it's cold
The ice growing colder still
It wraps around your heart
Ripping it apart

It continues on
Growing black
Numbness spreads
You feel nothing but a dull ache
Your body beginning to shake

It shows nothing on the outside
You show only a smile
A mask to hide the cold
You have nothing at stake
For being a fake

It's not like they will notice
The ache inside
The shiver that erupts
The cold in your eye
They will continue to believe your lie

The wall will remain up
Because they don't care enough
To light the fire
To show you the light
Of the world that you lost your fight

Willows sway in the wind
Grass grows on the river bend
A fish jumps just off the coast
Birds call out to predator's to boast
The suns rays warm the earth
As a mother cries out with the pain of birth
Flowers bloom to feed the bees
Boats struggle in the raging seas
Spring has come to bring a new year
Melting away the winter fear

I can't see anything
All I see is black
I can't feel anything
All I feel is numb
I can't hear anything
It's like someone pulled a plug
And my heart feels like it will explode
But all those around me shrug
I don't know what to do
Its like someone wants me dead
I don't understand
Why are they so cruel
Maybe if I just run
Maybe then they will not think me a fool

I am just a nobody
A freak around a town
They don't care about me
But that's alright
I will survive
How many places will I go in order to stay alive
I am in need a place to stay
But no one really cares

I am a runaway girl
A child in need
But they just turn their head
I don't know what to do
I have to survive
I feel so surrounded
So I take a deep breath and dive

Who knows maybe I'll survive
I try to believe that everything will be okay
Though as things get harder
I forget that I'm stronger
And as the night goes and fades away
I remember that it's just the dawn before the day

I have a hope and a fear and a dream
A heart that will ache and squeeze and scream
A soul that will twist with agony
Though through it all I know that everything will be kept alive
Because I know I will survive

A night that fades from dusk to dawn
It's just the moon that rises before the sun
How many times I want to howl
Though everyone believes it is because I'm foul

They don't know the pain that I feel
The hurt that I harbor inside
They don't understand that this is my life
That I am stuck and cannot hide

Though I am strong
I have to believe that not everything is as it seems
Because as soon as things look up I know
The devil will throw in a hook
I'll get trapped and hooked and snared
A thousand tries but fails in one way
A million ways a billion ways
A nonstop push and pull
An eternity of pain

I shall survive because I keep my faith alive
Those that doubt will be blind and stumble about
I cannot dream but hope for ways out

I know it's only a twilight of days to come
A new way to make the pain go numb
So I shall sing and shout and dance around
To hope and dream that the new feeling is found

Tick,
The hands are moving.

Tock,
Life is slowing.

Tick,
Seconds are passing.

Tock,
Nothing is changing.

Tick,
Moments are fading.

Tock,
The clock is ticking.

Tick,
Can't you hear its heart beating?

Tock,
Telling you life is leaving.

Tick Tock,
As we lower you six feet everlasting.

Listen to the clock,
Your life is ending.

I couldn't help but notice,
your staring at me again.

With the look of disgust,
plastered on your face.

A blank look of hatred,
boiling in your eyes.

I just wanted to say thank you,
for showing me your true colors.

Water seeps over me
Hot steam rising
Burning my flesh red
Trying to wash myself anew
A life free of pain
Of disgust
Of numbness
To feel alive
To a fresh life
To see a new me

Thoughts racing over life
Like a race car
Round and round in my head
Loudly and constant over things I regret
Things I wished for
Things I couldn't do
People who I hurt
People who hurt me
People who I needed in my life

Drying myself off still hurting
Muscles screaming at me
A headache building
Bruised and beaten like an abused
Abused from the past
Abused from the present
Abused from the thoughts of the future
Dreading life
Dreading reality
Dreading the fact that I was still hurting

To go so far
And turn around

To take a step forward
And take two steps back

Ambition lost

Courage faltering

And you...

You just keep going

Leaving me reaching and falling short

Laying down on a clump of moss
Body shuddering with the feeling of loss
Two feet away the grave your visiting
You rub your chest against the heartbreak bubbling
Unsure how long you can endure
When all you want is some closure
In the end you get up and leave
You'll try again when your sure you wont heave

How long is a moment in a lifetime?

Will time heal what it helped destroy?

Can a heart beat count the scars on a beaten soul?

Where do the lost wander to when they can't see where their going?

I lay down
I'm tired again

I stare blankly
I'm floating again

I tear up
I'm panicking again

I don't feel anymore
Am I in reality?

Frozen in place
Filled with despair
Looking back
You never did care
You got what you want
To me that wasn't fair
I worked hard
But never got a share
So why, I don't understand
Why you throw everything away
I wouldn't dare!

Voice of reason filled the air.
Life, it said, just wasn't fair.
Time after time, it laughed in her face.
As the echoes of it made her heart race.
A devil told her to make it go away.
But the angel told her everything would be okay.
Does she give in to her despair?
Or should she remember the reasons she should care?
Day after day, emotions high and low.
Sometimes, she wished, she could just go.
To young to take to a bottle.
Wishing she could take life's throttle.
One more day she convinces herself.
Just stop caring so much, leave your heart on a shelf.

The stars shine bright in the night sky

A cold wind blows gently through the air

Not a sound to be heard from the sleeping houses

A quiet walk of tranquility in the empty night

Is what is needed to keep me sane

Try and try and try as you might

You are slowly, slowly losing the fight

Knowing that two wrongs don't make a right

Another omen comes back to bite

Lost in darkness looking for light

No hope is seen, none in sight

Why do feelings hurt?
Making me feel lower than dirt
I've thought of learning to fly
But am always scared to try
The feeling of pain
That is not a gain
You can't go far
Without receiving a scar
You become shaded
Because you feel hated
My heart is so sore
I don't think I can do this anymore

Why now?
That things were looking up
You act out
And everyone gets hurt.

Why now?
The one that I thought loved me left
When I needed him the most
I wasn't good enough.

Why now?
I have my life in order
And I collapse
My health laughing in my face.

Why now?
I finally get a job
And I get fired
All because of things out of my control.

Why now?
Is it that people around me are hurting
Physically and emotionally
And there is nothing I can do to help.

Why not now?
Can life just give us a break
Let us live and maybe thrive
For once.

Will you save me?
I fell into the water,
Too deep to see the light.
I forgot how to swim,
So I thrash around searching for you.
The water is attacking my lungs,
I grow cold.
I'm almost too numb,
Too numb to fight.

Will you save me?
I'm locked in a burning building,
Surrounded by dancing flames.
Entranced, I collapse,
Wishing you were here.
The song is almost over,
Death grows near.

Will you save me?
The darkness is swallowing me,
My heart is scared of what's to come.
Where is your light?
The pain is unsustainable,
Tears, no longer containable.

Will you save me?
I'm giving up,
My eyes are too heavy, so I let them shut.
Take me away,
My life is beginning to sway.
An angel stares at my soul with sadness,
While Death stares at me with emptiness.
Which to choose with this path of life,
Should I slice my wrist with the tip of this knife?
Where are you when I need you?
I just don't know what to do.

Please,
Will you save me?

Skin heating up
Body burning
The pain is hard to endure
But you need the money
So you work
And keep your mouth shut

Your lips turned blue
The freezer too cold
Your shivers are violent
But you have to get it done
You have other stuff to do

People are upset
You frantically try to help
Help them, then back to work
But they make it difficult
So you call your manager
To ensure their needs are met

Your boss is angry
And takes it out on you
Why? You ask, but you don't know
You only do your job
So you can pay your bills
Because your living a life that just isn't free

Work all day
And work all night
Your tired
And you ache
But you have bills
So you'll do the work for the pay

You say you know me
But you don't know
All the thoughts that I don't show
I can be tricky when it comes to how I feel
I've been hurt to much to fully heal
Now you're trying to break my walls
As I ignore your encouraging calls

You say you know me
But you don't know
That I have been hit with a fatal blow
I have glued this mask upon my face
All because of hates warm embrace
You can't tell me that you can see
Everything that is going on around me

You say you know me
But you don't know
I'm too weak to reap what I sow
Life strangles me when I get on my feet
I raise a white flag unable to take the heat
One step forward, and two steps back
Nothing can make up for what I lack

You say you know me
But you don't know
I'm not good for you, so please just go...

You told me you loved me
Then left me in the cold
Frozen and numb
I ached to be told

Tell me you love me
Just one last time
So I can remember
That I'm just fine

Don't tell me you love me
I'm tired of lies
I'd rather just cut
All of our ties

You once said you loved me
And I was a fool
I believed you
Not knowing I was just a tool

You once said you hate me
It was a tone of endearment
But those words you said
Was not worth the tears that I shed

You told me you loved me
I was an idiot to believe
You said I wasn't good enough
But I still didn't think you would leave

Now I'm ripped to shreds
You told me that you loved me
But then you cut me up
The tears I've shed will never let me see

That you once loved me