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Nina MacDonald Aug 2014
I am sorry,
To anyone I made feel this way.

I am sorry if you ever gave me your heart
And I used it to my advantage.

I am sorry if you put your trust in me
And I let you down time and time again.

I am sorry if you told me you were fine
While you were holding back tears.

I am sorry if you ever felt this alone
And felt you could not talk to me.

Because no one deserves this feeling,
This state of loneliness, betrayal, and heartbreak.

I am sorry if you let me into your world
And I overstayed my welcome.

I am sorry if I promised to stay and wait,
then disappeared the moment you turned your back.

I am sorry if I was ever the last thing on your mind
before you cried yourself to sleep.

                            Because no one deserves to drown,
                          in a flood caused by their own sadness .
Nina MacDonald Sep 2014
I have written three ******* books about you,
and all you ever gave me,
was a half finished song
and a broken heart.
Nina MacDonald Sep 2014
I'm sorry my name
     Didn't taste
          As sweet
               As her's
Nina MacDonald Jan 2015
No it's fine
continue ignoring me when our eyes meet
I have nothing to say to you
but it's funny
how much I could say to her..
Nina MacDonald Dec 2014
oh my god,
I never loved you,
I was just cold,
And you lit yourself on fire.
Nina MacDonald Jul 2014
I dream of holding his hand,
Soft palm intertwine[ing] with mine,
Fingers tightly locked together.

I wake every morning wish[ing] he were beside me
Wishing I could bury my face in the nook of his neck,
Have his sweet sent scent surround me.

I drift into thought[s] of kissing [him],
Lips that taste of lust,
Bodies pressed close and warm.

I remember the dark fear of being replaced,
I just prayed it wouldn't come from you,
Glimpses  of his reckless passion for me.

But this distance between us,
Has turned me into,
A blank memory.
Nina MacDonald Sep 2014
I wish you weren't so far,
I don't mind the physical distance,
But I wish you would return my calls,
I wish you would send me lame jokes when I'm feeling down,
I wish you would tell me everything is going to be alright,
I wish you would play me music until I drifted to sleep.

And I know you found someone new,
And maybe she's prettier than me,
Or funnier,
Or more talented,
But I hope you didn't tell her,
The same things you told me.

I hope she holds your heart dearly,
I hope she makes you happy,
But I hope when you get caught in the rain,
You remember me,
And the way we danced and shared a wet smiling kiss.

I hope one day you come across my favorite record,
The one we sang to a million time,
And a smile creeps onto your face,
and you laugh at our childish ways.

I hope your father still asks about me,
And your mother still compliments me,
And brother still mocks me.

Maybe one day you'll call,
You'll ask if it's different here,
You'll tell me about her,
And maybe I won't want to hear it,
But I'll say I'm glad you're so happy,
And I'll say she sounds wonderful,
You'll tell me she is.

I won't tell you I wish I was her,
And I won't tell you I miss you,
And I won't tell you I wish I could have stayed,
And been the one to make you so happy,
And I'll tell you about my life,
And I'll make it sound better than it is,
Because I don't want you to worry.

We'll hang up,
And I won't say I love you,
And you won't say it back,
But that's okay,
Because you called,
And that's enough,
To know you thought of me.

But you didn't call.

You're still with her.

And I'm still waiting.
Nina MacDonald Oct 2014
I just hope you know
I love you
as much
as you hate me.
Nina MacDonald Aug 2014
I think what sickens me most,
Is the way you fear the way I think,

Because had I been a man
You would praise me for it,

Rather than taunt me.
Nina MacDonald Aug 2014
I hope I one day forget how your love felt,
So I can stop craving it.
Nina MacDonald Jul 2014
Maybe she's pretty,
But she'll never know why you can't go out later in the night.

Maybe she's smart,
But she'll never understand what you mean when you say 'fine'.

Maybe she's loving,
But she'll never see you cry uncontrollably.

Maybe you have a future with her,
But you'll always have a history with me.
Nina MacDonald Jul 2014
When your mind has been altered,
Regardless the substance,
Your shaky hands still dial my number.

And if that doesn't say anything about you and I,
Maybe it says something about you an her.

— The End —