oh my god,
I never loved you,
I was just cold,
And you lit yourself on fire.

I wish you weren't so far,
I don't mind the physical distance,
But I wish you would return my calls,
I wish you would send me lame jokes when I'm feeling down,
I wish you would tell me everything is going to be alright,
I wish you would play me music until I drifted to sleep.

And I know you found someone new,
And maybe she's prettier than me,
Or funnier,
Or more talented,
But I hope you didn't tell her,
The same things you told me.

I hope she holds your heart dearly,
I hope she makes you happy,
But I hope when you get caught in the rain,
You remember me,
And the way we danced and shared a wet smiling kiss.

I hope one day you come across my favorite record,
The one we sang to a million time,
And a smile creeps onto your face,
and you laugh at our childish ways.

I hope your father still asks about me,
And your mother still compliments me,
And brother still mocks me.

Maybe one day you'll call,
You'll ask if it's different here,
You'll tell me about her,
And maybe I won't want to hear it,
But I'll say I'm glad you're so happy,
And I'll say she sounds wonderful,
You'll tell me she is.

I won't tell you I wish I was her,
And I won't tell you I miss you,
And I won't tell you I wish I could have stayed,
And been the one to make you so happy,
And I'll tell you about my life,
And I'll make it sound better than it is,
Because I don't want you to worry.

We'll hang up,
And I won't say I love you,
And you won't say it back,
But that's okay,
Because you called,
And that's enough,
To know you thought of me.

But you didn't call.

You're still with her.

And I'm still waiting.

I dream of holding his hand,
Soft palm intertwine[ing] with mine,
Fingers tightly locked together.

I wake every morning wish[ing] he were beside me
Wishing I could bury my face in the nook of his neck,
Have his sweet sent scent surround me.

I drift into thought[s] of kissing [him],
Lips that taste of lust,
Bodies pressed close and warm.

I remember the dark fear of being replaced,
I just prayed it wouldn't come from you,
Glimpses  of his reckless passion for me.

But this distance between us,
Has turned me into,
A blank memory.