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Braxton Reid Feb 2018
Things aren't always perfect,
But I wait for a spring day.
With open skies and honey bees
And nothing in the way.

Winter has brought pain,
From many cold, cold nights.
My steering column veers,
From slipping on the ice.

I wait for rain.
I wait for ants.
All things have a balance;
All things have a cadence.
Braxton Reid Dec 2017
I'd like to stretch moments out.
In the way you stretch a sore back when dawn breaks,
to treasure just a few seconds more before your alarm wakes.
This is why I take a longer route when driving home; once the gas stops running through the engine I know it'll be over.
Braxton Reid Oct 2017
On my birthday in 2016 I blacked out. Usually, bad things happen when I blackout. This time was different though, I was a very pure version of myself. How pure could it have been really? I mean, there was viscous alcohol running through my veins. I was always told alcohol wasn't pure; I still believe that.

  On such a night, I can remember the blur of pixie lights hanging outside the rooftop bar. Mixed with tequila, the lights created almost a room of light around me. I remember the girl that put a plastic sword (used for stirring drinks) in my hat. I loved the sword, it must've meant something to me. She must have meant something to me that night, but no longer.

  Thats the strange thing about such small moments. People can mean so much one night, and then be gone in the next. She was on her way to Colorado, Montana, or something the next day. I never saw her again. I'm not sad about it, but it does leave me confused. I'm not one to believe in purpose, but I do have some inkling that its a possibility we cross paths in a biological rainstorm. Maybe our biology determines our chance meetings with the fates.
Braxton Reid Jun 2018
Hot Sun in the sky
There's birds in the trees
Not a day goes by
I won't need the money

Yeah I'm broke with a kid
With a broken A/C
Oh this Summer never ends
Crack a window and sleep

Wake with the Sun in my eyes
Cartoons on T.V.
Not a day goes by
I'm not glad as can be

Yeah there's no school now
I've got people to meet
Maybe take a girl out
Pop an Ollie in the street
Braxton Reid Nov 2016
According to me
Falling in love is a mid-tempo jazz swing
Where the air is chilly
But she is not

All I can see
I only have eyes for you and me
And I smile when the lights look bigger than they are

I could get along without you very well
But why would I squander such a grand tale
When you are here and very near
I can feel the swing ring in my ears
Jazz references
Braxton Reid Apr 2017
Quicker to judge
Quicker to love
For the most part the fast nature of our society helps us evolve into our future selves
Some use it like a drug though
And while drugs are fun and even supported in our new found kingdom
We forget the distance we swim away from shore so quickly
Like children in candy shops, we salivate over the things we hate to love, and conversely, love to hate

The simple matter is,
While you love to hate someone who thinks differently from you
How often in one day do you think different from yourself?
I do frequently, but in that I find growth
I find meaning in hearing the woes and experiences of others
Even if it pains me
Because sometimes I know I'm wrong
Braxton Reid Aug 2015
I still saw the hope in humanity
Even after my father went to jail
I still saw the hope in humanity
Even after we were broken into and were violated by those young men
I still saw the hope in humanity
Even after the twin towers
And I still see the hope in humanity
As I clean the broken glass up from my car
And I hope they needed that music equipment more than I

It saved my life and I hope it saves theirs
Braxton Reid Mar 2016
There is a man who has a large beautiful home
And a grand yard behind it
His sheets are made of Egyptian cotton
And he imposes his fit body onto them every night

On his bed he dreamt
The sky was quickly changing from pink, to blue, to grey, and so on
The ground was made of mirrors so he felt sorrounded by the clouds
He wasn't afraid even if it seemed strange
So he starting walking the set path in front of him

He came upon his house and went inside
And in it he saw nothing
And the nothingness hit him
He swore it off with anger
And went out to the large yard with shrubbery sculptures

The grass in the yard breathed
Ominously so
The ground had cracks but wasn't dry
And there was a spiral labyrinth

There were no trials in this maze
Only one task
To follow it all the way down

The entrance, stone with etched words he couldn't understand
Grew as he approached
And he felt the weight of the world like a roach
The hedges inside the labyrinth stared down on him

He felt the hedges stare all the way down
They dispised him for reasons unknown
And whispered
"What would you do in our shoes?"

At the center of the maze was a blood filled, oozing, heart
Every beat was slower than the last
And he understood it as his own
The sky turned a strict, brooding grey

Frantically, he searched his mind for answers
He blamed the people around him
"They're poison!" He shouted
But that couldn't be true

He wept, for he didn't know what to do to make the beating regular
And the hedges stared
And the sky closed in
And the whispers turned to shouts

Then it all stopped
The heart, beating
The hedges, staring
The sky, moving
While he was glad, he felt alone

But then it seemed the world spoke all at once
"Give us your all, we shall return the favor, and we will be one."
And he awoke in his beautiful home
And he wept in repentance
Braxton Reid Apr 2017
How long before the next group leaves?
Are my interests now just a fling?
Do I truly know who I am when no ones around?
Or do I lie to myself to stay on this weak ground?

When was the last time I grabbed my guitar?
The wood that held me together when I fell apart.
Now it feels like  distance away
As if I drove out of town just to give me a break
But forgot my way home and started a new life
In this lonely town that holds all my lonely strifes
Braxton Reid Mar 2016
I won't do this any more
You can't make me want it
You can't make me need it
And the shakes got worse

I might do this some more
If you can make me want it
If you can make me need it
And I'm so terrified

Of what's to come
And how it was
Before you left
And all the voices collapse inside my head

They scream out
"This is your escape"
"This was something you made"
Its tragically beautiful, and clinically insane

But so are you
And you can stop wanting
And you can stop needing
And you can finally be free
Braxton Reid Feb 2016
So, there I was
Caught in your moments
The way your hair swooped to the side by itself
A natural perfection

At work we'd find time for cigarettes
And I would find more reasons to write poetry
In every contortion of your eyes
I day dream about our moments in third person

So, there I was
Struck through the chest with a hot iron arrow
Torn, once again, at a crossroads
Holding my composure so you couldn't catch on

So, there I was
Tucked between the spot where your shoulder and neck meets
Stowed away in your heart when you spoke of art
There I was, all along
Braxton Reid May 2016
I need to tap into a root and find my own brew of amber tree sap
So I can examine it in a lab
The scientific method of my being and consciousness
Because you can't fix something until you understand it

The first step is locating the issue
Taking all the memories and flipping through them
To stop at the ones that incite my curiosity
And explains many atrocities

The second step is accepting what was
This is difficult because our culture doesn't like the past
"The past is the past, move on"
I reject the notion and say embrace it

The third step is constructing a mutual agreement between my body and mind
That my actions will not harm any part of mankind
And this includes myself

This marks the change

The fourth step is enacting the new self
Taking old books off the shelf
Spending time with all the new matter I've created
Cultivating a consciousness that will harvest good things
"With gorilla gone will there be hope for man?"
Braxton Reid Mar 2016
What do cigarettes smell like now
They don't smell like the burnt shallows of my heart anymore
They smell like a burning lung breathing in a poets mind
Braxton Reid Feb 2018
My mind is not ready to commit,
That the blood on my hands
And the blood in my skin
Is wholly me.
Braxton Reid Oct 2015
We met in 7th grade
You were as silly then as you are now
You were as sweet then as you are now
It seems my love wouldn't fade

You're hair was long and everyone told you how beautiful it looked
The thing that caught my attention though was your TMNT t shirt

It's weird how even then it felt like we were meant to be in each other's lives
It's odd how now I still feel that way
But it's stronger than friendship

I'm in love
And I don't think we will ever be together
Braxton Reid Jan 2018
"Tell me all the times you've prayed"
I heard them say.
I heard them sing.

There is no counting;
It's been too much.
To no God, did I give trust.
Braxton Reid Feb 2018
It's been a month.
It's been two thousand words.
I've grown from this dust; I'm covered in soot.
Still, I have no place.
Still, I fall from grace.
But, it's been a month.
Braxton Reid May 2016
Smile in the mirror to show yourself you're happy
Faking self esteem only gets you so far
But I can tell you what its like when you are laughing
You'll never see how beautiful you truly are
Braxton Reid Aug 2015
I started smoking again
Tell me if you can relate
To the feel of a cigarette enveloping your brain
There's a chill that rolls down your body
Then a moment of slight pain
In the back of your throat, then your lungs inflate

A vice that's Juliet where I'm Romeo
We **** ourselves just so we feel grown

Or is it like a lover you've grown tired of?
But you can't quite quit when push comes to shove

No

It's more like a therapist when I need advice
That is the relation between me and my vice
Braxton Reid Mar 2016
The cranberry dries my mouth
The *****, both demeaning and lifting
I am the rock and the hard place
I use nicotine to calm my storm
Braxton Reid Aug 2017
When I was a kid,
And I still am in many senses,
I sat in my room

I stared into the dark and conjured up monsters
I was afraid of them, but they were welcome
If the could play nice

I read books while they watched and threatened me
I played guitar when they'd stop yelling
They would hop on my shoulders
And I'd feel their weight
So, I worked out to make my body stronger

These creatures would get bigger and stronger just like me
At one point they were so strong that I wanted to **** myself at 18
That thought had always lingered though

They dug me a hole and called it a grave
They said they were going to throw me in
And I was terrified by that
And I wanted that feeling to go away

I asked them if they wanted to go for a walk before that happened
Perplexed, they agreed
And we went along

I got to know them and why they wanted these horrible things
They were just as confused about themselves as I was about me

We stood there trying to make sense of us as a group
I realized that we were, in fact, a group
We always have been
We always will be

I'd forgotten that they were just as lonely as I was when I was in my room
I'd forgotten that they forced me to become stronger
I forgave them in that moment
A moment suspended in my reality
Braxton Reid Mar 2016
White vignette dream
Someone came to me
They asked if they could have my child
And I said yes

We talked for a while a smoked a few cigarettes
It all felt so real, and different still yet

I couldn't understand what was going on
Why I was giving up my child
Why I thought she would be better off
But the deal was struck

We went to the hallway where she was waiting to leave
With her blue owl backpack, and I couldn't believe
What was going on
She started walking towards me crying
And it all moved so fast
She said "Bye" in the sweet, shy, shaky, and child like way she does
And I broke down
I wept on the floor
And I wish I could rember what that sounded like
Because that would be the most captured performance of pain
This didn't happen, but **** that dream was intense
Braxton Reid Oct 2017
I check my phone.
Its the same thing I saw 5 minutes ago.

I have no interest in my favorite things at this point in time. Even as I write this bit of prose I can feel that I'm not truly interested; I keep writing.

I check my phone.
20 minutes ago I zoned out while my favorite song was on and stopped singing.

When I was 16 I picked up guitar; my dream job was to be a musician, but then I turned 22. More recently my dream has been to find a dream in all the perfect chaos that is this world. "Are dreams a valid thought, or are we just told we should have them from a young age?", I ask myself.

I check my phone.
I should be leaving my car to go upstairs to my girlfriend and child.

I check my phone.
Why does my car feel like the safest place at times?

I check my phone.
JUST GET UP AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOURSELF.

I put my phone down.
Why am I not crying? Normal people cry.
Why would I be crying? I haven't lost anything worth mourning, right?

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

I check my phone.
Braxton Reid Nov 2016
Just wanted to know if I could go home
You've kept me here far too long
I've stood in the drunken downpour
While you berate me with your stubborn core

I miss all my friends and the ones that let me in
There's ink missing from my timid pen
Yet here you are to offer it back up
Right when the chaos erupts

And here we go again
With our sparks and our ends
Are we dancing for ourselves when the lights cave in
Or can we even distinguish the love we began with
Its just for us and all that we extinguish

You and I
You and I
You and I
All for you
Inspired by Jeff Buckley
Braxton Reid Mar 2018
You're getting married on my birthday this year.
I'm just saying that it's weird,
And I don't mean to pry,
Or ask you why.

I just remember the time,

when,

You were all I thought about,
And all my friends laughed aloud
When I told them I loved you after only knowing you a few days.

I can see why now, but that felt real;
You felt chill.
And after a long time without love
You were the only thing I thought of.

What I'm trying to say is ,

I still think about you.
Not in any particular way but you pop in and out,
Like a visitor that forgot their keys on my couch.
And I don't have any feelings or regrets.
I'm just saying you had an effect.

— The End —