everything's been so different since the fire

we drove those back roads
the ones i'd venture alone
i forewarned you of
oncoming dangers you'd be shown
every tree is bare now
muck, ash
though the grass still grows
and only becomes greener
the further we go

i can no longer sit peacefully near bonfires
every flicker, every spark
reigniting what set all this apart

i no longer play with lighters
i feel as though i have more control, sure
but i no longer
trust these hands
with the possibility of losing it all again

everything's been so different since the fire

everything's just..
decayed
everything's just..
gone

Dad,

           are you still flooded with pride
when you hear or speak my name?
there's certain feelings i tend to hide,
and i know you feel the same.
        
           lying was never in my blood,
how'd this hate get in my heart?
i came here in search of love,
and now i'm not sure where to start.

           i love you all so greatly,
please tell mom i miss her too,
but the reason i'm writing lately
is that i feel i've failed you.


- your pride & joy

i'm on the front line,
but was never prepared,
                           is this real life?

i hear the screaming,
smoke filling up the air,
                           is this real life?

move me up another square
for i am merely a pawn,
caught up in a game
that no man has won.

"is this real life?"

i begged them for answers,
they assured me that my death
was the only thing they're after;

with just enough courage,
i looked back and said,

"you may be the king,
but everyone else
wants you dead!"