I don't believe in much due to many of my misfortunes
Monogamy, faith, soul mates, forever
Yet I always pray for him, for true happiness & love
But there's a part of me deep within my soul that is completely terrified
That he will find that true happiness and love, w someone other than me
And I will have to watch him fall madly in love w someone else

What is genuine happiness and how do I obtain it? I am in dire need of self peace. I want to put my mind at ease without substance abuse. I am tired of being a slave to my habits.

You consume me.
I taste you every time I lick my lips.
I hear your voice in the wind.
I smell you as soon as I get in my car.
I feel your hand in mine while I sleep.
I even see you in my ******* dreams.
Who was I before you?
Who am I now without you?
I hate that everything reminds me of you, and when something happens I still want to run to you & tell you. But I can't and that makes me sad.
Everything makes me sad.
How is it you broke my heart and yet it yearns for you?

Running, painting, smoking, ***, drinking, writing, reading, socializing... the fufillment these outlets give me are temporary. These dark thoughts within me are forever.

It took me so long to finally be okay with being alone. Then I met you and I didn't want to be alone anymore. Now you've left me and I am more alone than ever and I do not know how to cope.

To have finally found each other and now be unable to be together, how truly unfortunate we are.

I am so happy I took a chance, I risked what was left of my overused heart. I could feel the blood rushing through my lifeless body, never have I felt more alive than I did when I was with you. My corpse no longer deceased, I have been revived.

He came into my life
He awoke my weary soul
He revived my faith in humanity
He showed me how to love
Then, he showed me how to leave