Fatigue for breakfast.
Exhaustion for lunch.
Dinner was a bowl of captain crunch.

Sleeping kills too much time,
That I thought it redundant.
But maybe I'm just avoiding the plunder
That's nowhere near subtle,
When you burst into my subconscious.
And rake nostalgia
into piles of sentimental movie clips
that could only make me weep.

Nostalgia is incessant.
It victimizes the past
And reminds me of all the things
that didn't last.

Fatigue for breakfast.
Adrenaline for lunch.
Afternoon tea was a joke.
And dinner?
You're a humorous bunch.

Don’t hate on me
Play along with me
Write a song for me
Ring a **** for me
True to your nature
Go on an adventure
Got nothing to lose
If it’s love you choose

When still life is vibrant
And landscapes are dead
No beauty at pageants
No glory ahead
No pathways to follow
No pleasure to find
Desires so hollow
And so is the mind…

Be gentle but stalwart
Be kind but robust
Be passion itself
A jolly wind gust
Be flowing like water
Be warm as the sun
Be timeless like fire
It’s all just begun…

I keep thinking one day
I will be able to muster up the words
I love you
and say them
directly, to your real face


but until then
this photograph
will have to do
cause
in your presence
I stammer and stumble
over the simplest of phrases
leaving my feelings looking like
a drunken cad
walking down the street
with my words
staggering at my feet
unable to be put
one in front of the other
& finally me
ending with my heart
passed out at your doorstep
cause my sense of sobriety
always fails me
around you.

I know you think
I wear lipstick everyday
And my hands always
Smell like
Chai tea and raspberries

I know you think
My tongue always
Tastes like
Melted sugar
And peppermint

I know you think
I sleep in the same lace
Underwear
You find me in
On certain Sundays
In the spring
When the air is light
And my jeans
Don't stick
To my thighs

I know you think
I'm larger than life

Above chipped teeth
And bruises
And cigarette ash
And acne

I know you think
My eyes don't turn
Blood red
And poison
When I cry

I know you think
My finger nails
Are always
Freshly painted

And I always wear
A bra
That fits

I know you think
Yoga pants are
My comfy clothes,
Never gray sweat pants
With a faded red stain
Between my legs

I know you think
My calves are always
Soft, hairless, and toned

You think
I wait by the phone
With vanilla incense
Burning in a red robe

But you're wrong
And that's impossible

I won't let you in
Cause I won't be
The one
To shatter
Your whole
Pretty, little world

I'm disgusting
Sometimes

I sleep with
Way too many
Girls and guys

And sometimes I cry so much
My eyelids peel
Til I look like
Leather face
And I don't leave my house
For 8 days

And in those 8 days
I shower
Maybe twice

My skin gets rough
In the winter

Right now
I have a
Pimple on
My left shoulder
And every morning
It looks a little
Meaner

My ***** spill
Out over the top
And the sides
Of my favorite
Sport's bra

And I don't care

I smell like burnt oil
And cheap hair dye
Half of the time

I haven't washed
My sheets in a while
And they smell like
Salt water
And chlorine

You put me up on a pedestal
From which I refuse to fall

So I'll stay here,
Far,
Untouchable

You'll never love me
With sticky tampons
In my garbage can
And half drank beer bottles
On my bedroom floor

I'll stay here,
Far,
Untouchable,

Safe

There is a new fire
in my soul
           its curves  
                wrap themselves
               around me
                      sinuous
             like a hot
          slithery
sheath of flesh
snakes of pleasure
       twirling in my deepest
                         womanflow      
           pumping inside
    my veins of mesh
Those licks of flames
caress as they spew
  they **** in my spirit
        spit it out anew
                undulating hips
        matching my own
            a middle east song
                igniting my bones
        suffusing my blood
with the raw, the bare
filling me up
with sparkling lava,
                   so rare          
This combination
          makes for a recipe hot
               like a piquant ghost pepper
                  in my spiciest spot
Now let me weave words
Let me conjure your
                           liquids
let me drench colors
upon your eyelids,
my spirit's
proximity vivid
Let me drown you in
            madness
in frothiest frequencies
           of love
let this symphony play out
powers screeching above
and as this vivacity beckons
          the soul in your eyes
our stormiest spirals
       will spill out rainbow fire
           and rise
for as we grow and reach out
there is a death of limitation
              as freedom breaks out
                   in ocean-soaked
                 emancipation
Our mutual worlds
heal each other's hurts
as my tongue licks
your wounds
rejuvenation asserts
hot springs of
              lifeflow
filling up cells
sensations of textures
a ringing of bells
So
as I weave this spell
around you
            fear not that you
will disappear or
thine own self lose
for we have only to soar
as we
   coax out
        the muse