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Xan Abyss Oct 2017
I am a Ghost
A lecherous imp with a golden heart staring from a distance at nymphs
in the blooded shine of sunset
Watching from the shadows;
Dreaming in the dark.
Desiring not to disurb
but desperately longing to be part of their world
Desire.... it is a curse
But one I am born to bear
I am a rogue
But one with love in his mineral heart
And joy he wishes to share
I dwell in a dark cave of phantom memories
Haunting me every day
I seek out Queens for company
But harbor a secret desire
to hold them as slaves
To keep them...
And ravish them....
Eternally lock them away..
To creep and crawl like an insect;
Devour the pain that they hide
Possess their body and mind...
To Physically,
Emotionally,
Mentally linger inside.
Yet, I am but a child
Though deep in our hearts, aren't we all?
And if we aren't, how tragic,
That the magic should die at all.
And still, I am a man.
A man who knows what he wants.
A man who doesn't believe in borders,
A man with a purpose,
A man who is lost.
I am an angel,
A demon,
A passionate rambler indeed,
I am a dreamer,
A midnight screamer,
A farmer sowing his seeds.
I am imagination,
Wrapped in slight intoxication,
Disguised in a young
but aging man's body,
A plain tornado of human emotions.
So I write,
For I am a writer,
and I sing, so I am a singer,
and I live to perform,
(Which makes me a performer)
Wandering blind towards a sense of identity,
But my journey has gotten no warmer.
Despite this harsh truth,
my path remains clear
& I refuse to surrender to fear.
I have a destiny,
I can see it.
Even if plagued with unusual needs.
A complex person?
Indeed.
But who am I?
No idea.
Found this poem in the notes on my phone. I don't remember why or how I wrote it.
Xan Abyss Sep 2017
Your eyes are fire burning bright in the night sky
A warning I should heed but indeed, I'm too mezmorized
To turn away, face away
Escape into a love that's safe
instead I evade the soft light of day
And follow the trail of smoke to my grave
Just to spend a single day in the
Insidious grace of your embrace

Your Love fills my heart with bliss in clouds and waves
But your absence hurts like cigarette Burns, inflicted by a paramour in a fit of jealous rage
And the leftover pain seeps into my veins and seeks to drive me insane in my solitude, drowning in thoughts of you, where only death is real and only memories remain

But the moment I met you everything changed
I was no longer the monster
my past had tried to create
And though beauty may fade as suffering stays, and lingers through every recovery stage
None of the love you and I shared
Will ever mean nothing to me

Hope is for madmen who seek heaven in the Abyss
And I will love you forever  
even if this is our final kiss
Our farewell to bliss
I'll love you
Until we're both in the crypt
Found an old Poem in a notebook from years ago. Hated most of it, so I kept the stuff I liked and scrapped the rest. Added a little bit of updated content for the context of my relationship with the subject today.
Xan Abyss Sep 2017
disappointing morning,
i woke up to find that i survived another night
some would call me foolish
to feel betrayed by my own waking eyes
but i could sense what was coming next, the flames of death that burn inside me
with every breath and every step, i'm left to waste away in silence

but i'm not trying to bring you down
and i don't mean to complain
but sometimes i wish you could understand
our days together are not the same

nobody cares, nobody hears
when you're screaming in the dark
when you're drowning in your tears
nobody's there
no one appears
you're just left alone in your empty home
to sail on through the years

though the weather may be great today
you and i are feeling different ways
though the sun may shine and the grass is green
on the inside all i can do is scream
and i'm well aware that you can't relate
you remind me with every word you say
and i know you only want to help
but I still just want to **** myself

and i'm not trying to bring you down
and i don't mean to complain
but sometimes i wish you could understand
our days together are not the same
our days together are not the same

nobody cares, nobody hears
when you're screaming in the dark
when you're drowning in your tears
nobody's there
no one appears
you're just left alone in your empty home
to sail on through the years

today is my last chance to join the 27 club
will i decide to make it,
or throw it all away for love?
Wrote this just now, in a state of profound depression triggered by waking up on the last and final day before my 28th birthday.
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Ian Garrick, he sailed the Seven Seas
or Captain Redbeard, as he's known to you and me
He loved riches, as well as flesh and wine
But death and destruction are what filled most of his time

Captain Redbeard, despised and feared
Ian Garrick, he died at sea
The Crimson Captain, he came to be
The Dread Phantom Pirate King
Without Mercy

The King’s Commander, the mightiest to sail
Remembered just by title in his enemy's folktale
Died in battle, attacked to no avail
But still saw the captain fall
Beyond the Pale

His eyes were gold as fire
Demise, his sole desire
His eyes were gold as fire
Demise, his soul desired

In nightmares, Ian Garrick lives
Captain Blood-N-Gore
The images his name still gives
of Horror, Hell and War
Are bound to silent darkness
In the Depths of Nevermore
Until a poor fool summons them
In suffering, Reborn
Part of a much larger literary piece I'm working on.
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Panasoffkee, Florida
Dressed in green and gold
Strangled with a 36 belt
Her corpse a whole month old

Rotting beneath the water
Nobody knew her body
Paul John Knowles
Was out on parole,
Could he be the killer at fault here?

Who was Miss Panasoffkee?
What happened to Constantina?
Found submerged in a river
Nameless and missing forever

Could she be an escapee, a runaway from Greece?
Fleeing her cruel husband as a romantic refugee?
Perhaps the world will never know
Perhaps we'll never see
Who the real identity may be
of Miss Lake Panasoffkee
Based on a 40+ year old cold case.
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Confined inside the tundra
Frozen beneath the dirt
Uncovered by a digging team
Unleashed upon the earth
Ancient in Origin
In Nature, a War Begins
Prehistoric Breed
Awakens now to Feast

From the soils of Lapland
It is freed
Citizens of Denmark!
Run and flee!
Terrible Lizard
Frenzied Feed
New Dragonslayers
Make it Bleed

It stands five stories tall
Armored scales, unbreakable
Weaving a path of destruction and hate
Nothing but death in its wake
Scandinavia meets her fate
Progress made a fatal mistake
Acid venom and neon flames
We will never forget the name...

Reptilicus!
Rising...
High North Kaiju
Reptilicus!
Rising...
It will find you...
New season of MST3K on Netflix!
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
She reigned from high above, in a castle on the hill
She bathed in ****** Blood for youth
And for a thrill
Her talons roamed the countryside
In the dark of night
Driven mad by her obsession
with Eternal Life

The Countess,
Elizabeth Bathory
Come back to me
Blood Countess
Elizabeth Bathory
At last you'll see...

Her spirit wanders here, you can see her by the moon
They say you can feel her near before the strike of doom
Her name creates an air of fear
She stalks us in our dreams
On misty nights so still and clear
You can hear the victims scream

Terror upon the Earth!
Demon of Noble Birth!
Royal Witch - Gore Fetishist
Bleed us for all we're worth...
ELIZABETH! BATHORYYYYY!
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